Talk:Tales of Xillia/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:20, 2 October 2014 (UTC)

Will leave some comments initial within 24 hours and will mainly focus on copyediting issues. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 16:20, 2 October 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

• The lead could be better restructured/organised. The prose for the first half of the lead is somewhat choppy and the syntax could be improved. For example the opening sentence could read Tales of Xillia (Japanese: テイルズ オブ エクシリア Hepburn: Teiruzu Obu Ekushiria?) is a Japanese role-playing game developed by Namco Tales Studio and published by Namco Bandai Games or something similar?

I see what you mean. I reordered it so the release dates are together.

• Would you prefer the use of Oceania other than Australasia? Not a problem, it's just that 'Australasia' is rarely used

Sources use Australasia, which is different from Oceania AFAIK

• The second paragraph could be expanded slightly and should be copyedited to improve flow of the prose

I just merged it into the first paragraph

• "in the Western world" - makes it sound like the west is a different world. How about "territories outside Japan" or something similar?

I'd prefer using Western world for better accuracy but expanded it into North America and PAL region.

• Are there any criticisms from reviews that could be implemented in the lead?

Reworded English reception sentence

Gameplay

• "When characters level, they receive GP" - "level up"?

Yeah

• "Party members are able to link to each other to perform unified attacks called linked artes" - this paragraph already explains what artes are

It's a new Jargon and the game treats it differently from artes

• "When the Linked Artes Gauge is full, the player character can enter Over Limit" - should this be in quotations?

AFAIK, the MoS doesn't say anything about this.

Development and release

• "Its staff, battle system and two main characters were revealed along with the game's main theme" - this doesn't make sense, its staff were revealed??

? The director, music composter, character designers, and etc wasn't revealed until then.

• "A Western world localization was officially announced" - this could be shortened to 'Western'

Taken

• "In the same day" - On the same day

Taken

• "The game was translated by 8-4 and dubbed by Cup of Tea Productions" - who/what is Cup?

? Cup of Tea Production is the company's name.

Reception

• "Tales of Xillia was one of the top selling games on the North American PSN" - PlayStation Network, assuming that some readers are unfamiliar to this

Taken

• The reception section could do with a light copyedit as the syntax makes it somewhat confusing

References

• Ref 41 is broken

It's working for me

• Ref 44, is Amazon generally used as a source? It's also the Japanese version

The media adaptions are all Japanese. AFAIK, Amazon is fine for release dates and only release dates

• [1] Other than that there are no dead links and the citations are in the correct places so this meets the GA criteria

On hold

There are many prose and syntax issues before this article has a chance to meet the GA criteria. I strongly recommend copyediting the article and making sure that the prose becomes clearer to understand (especially for readers not familiar to this game). I'll put his on hold for the standard seven days. If all of those issues are addressed and the most parts of the article (especially the lead) is given a copyedit then this article will stand a much better chance of passing the GAN. It is worth noting that the article has improved since the last GAN, so this stands a better chance. Thanks, ☠ Jaguar ☠ 13:21, 5 October 2014 (UTC)

Close - promoted

Thank you for you improvements, I think everything checks out. The prose has improved, all the references are fine and the lead complies per WP:LEAD. This article now meets the GA criteria. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 11:36, 6 October 2014 (UTC)