Talk:Taki (Soulcalibur)/GA3

GA Review

Passed. QuicoleJR (talk) 12:30, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs)

Reviewer: QuicoleJR (talk · contribs) 16:23, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I will take this one. Ping me if I forget about it. This is my first GA review. QuicoleJR (talk) 16:23, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

@Kung Fu Man: I have finished reading through the whole article, and here is my review. It is a pretty well-made article overall, but I do have a few issues that need addressing. QuicoleJR (talk) 20:03, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

she first appeared in Soul Edge and its subsequent sequels, later appearing in various merchandise related to the series. How can she first appear in Soul Edge and its sequels? Also, the part after the comma is a different tense to the part before, and I would recommend either fixing that or making it into its own sentence.

Fixed, just ditched the merch bit to boot.

She has received mostly positive feedback, often having been for noted her iconic status in the Soul series and regarded as one of the best female ninja characters in video games as well as one of sex symbols of the fighting game genre. This sentence needs to have a lot of grammar issues fixed. I would do it myself, but I can't tell what it is supposed to say.

Fixed.

Conception and design

Her design and concept were then built to revolve around it by designers Aya Takemura and Takuji Kawano, starting with gender, then physical measurements, and lastly background details. I'm not sure what you mean by “design and concept” here. I don't quite understand “background details” either. I assume “physical measurements” just means height?

Tweaked this. Also physical measurements also includes weight and for the female cast bust size. So physical measurements is probably the best way to summarize that.

Soulcalibur III director Katsutoshi Sasaki regarded Taki as his personal favorite character from the series. I'm not sure why this was placed in the middle of the paragraph about the character’s creation in Soul Edge, right before discussing changes made in Soulcalibur II. It should probably be moved somewhere else in the article.

Moved to the end of the paragraph, added a bit about it coming from an interview.

From Soulcalibur II onward, her weapon was changed to a pair of kodachi, with alternatives such as kunai also available. What do you mean by “also available” in this sentence?

Tried to clarify this.

During Soul Edge's development, several ideas were considered for her gear, with a mask covering her face being a consistent theme between designs. I assume “gear” here means outfit? You might just want to say that.

Fixed.

When showing her face, the developers wanted her to display little emotion as a ninja. Does she usually hide her face?

This ties into a previous sentence about her early designs, where she was often displayed with a mask in them.

her outfit tended to remain a red bodysuit with various degrees of armor, such as oni masks, meant to represent a symbol of exorcism. Does the bodysuit represent a symbol of exorcism, or does the armor? I can't really tell from the sentence.

Fixed

In Soulcalibur VI, Japanese text from her ninja clan was added in bright pink highlights across it. Same issue as above. Did they add the text to the bodysuit or the armor?

Fixed.

Appearances

The first paragraph makes it sound like the plot information is from Soul Edge, while some digging revealed that it is from the first Soulcalibur game. If they have the same plot, this can be ignored. Otherwise, you might need to rework the start of the section a little.

It's the same plot.

Known as a demon hunter trying to purge the land of evil, she seeks a cursed sword, Soul Edge, to help her destroy it. This says that she wants to use the cursed sword to destroy evil, while the lead says that she wants to destroy the sword. Only one of those things can be true.

Tried to fix this. It's a bit confusing, but her initial goal is to find the sword to use it, and then after the Cervantes fight she seeks to destroy it.

Taki helps defeat the sword's wielder, destroying one half of the blade in the process. This sentence does not have enough context. Who is she helping to defeat the sword’s wielder? Who is the sword’s wielder?

Fixed. I try to avoid additional names in subjects like this to avoid confusing the reader.

While searching for remaining shards of the sword, Where? Why?

Fixed

several members of her clan become corrupted by its influence, How can the sword corrupt people if it has been broken into pieces?

Not sure the misunderstanding here, as the thing's still active in its broken state, thus Taki looking for the shards to destroy them.

including the clan's master Toki, who she defeats after he transforms into a demon. Hold on. You can't just transform someone into a demon without explaining why they transformed into a demon. This part is also unsourced, but that is fine since it is plot information.

It's actually covered by Reference [25]. There's uhh...not really an explanation on how he did it though. The series plays a bit loose with some of its lore when it comes to things getting corrupted.

Taki appears in every entry of the Soulcalibur series with the exception of Soulcalibur V, where the development team felt she was "too old" to continue being a ninja. This feels like it would fit better in the Conception and design section, since it discusses the development of Soulcalibur V.

Would be a bit difficult to, as it leads into what she was doing in SC5 while not playable. May confuse the reader by splitting it up.

She was also featured in a gamebook for the ecchi series Queen's Blade, Could you explain what role she had in the book? If not, that is fine.

It's less a book in the literature sense and more like a trading card in heavy expanded form here, if that makes sense.

Promotion and merchandise

A multitude of figures have also been released of the characters, Why is “characters” plural? I can't tell if this is a typo or intentional, and it needs more context if it is the latter.

Typo, fixed.

Is Myfigurecollection.net a reliable source? Judging by the home page, it seems like it might be user-generated. You don't lose anything without it, since every use is backed up by another source, so I would suggest removing it.

Nuked.

Critical reception

This section impressively avoids relying on listicles, but I still have a few things to say.

This section definitely has way too many quotes. I feel like a few of these could be paraphrased, or the article could be bundled into one sentence with other sources that say the same thing.

Chopped up and tightened some. I'm dying on a hill for that real doll quote though. It was a good cherry on top for that paragraph.

Why does Rachel Hutchinson get her own paragraph, and such a large paragraph at that? Even if you want to keep her paragraph separate from the above two, her first paper could probably be summarized in fewer words, especially if you paraphrased the quotes.

Reworte it a bit to emphasize the contrast is due to scholarly study of her design, primarily Hutchinson's. Also rewrote several of the lines for easier word flow.

Additionally, it seems like you cite a paper that cites Hutchinson’s work, instead of Hutchinson’s original paper. Why is that?

Her paper is published in the book cited for reference [74], on the page numbers cited.

Images

Both images have valid non-free use rationales. Only a few minor comments here.

This is not a hill I am going to die on, and I'm fine if you disagree. However, I feel like her Soulcalibur IV appearance should be used over her Soulcalibur II appearance. This design is newer and mentioned more in the article. I would also prefer the design from the most recent game, Soulcalibur VI, over Soulcalibur II. If there is a reason II’s design was used, please let me know.

The Soulcalibur II art works with the discussion regarding her design, particularly the emphasis on her visible nipples. It and her Soulcalibur IV design are often the most used in discussions, but the SC4 artwork tends to not play well with infobox formatting due to the wide nature of it. A lot of times character articles will use the most recognizable design of a character, versus the latest (case in point, much of the Street Fighter cast).

I am fine with it either way, but is there a specific reason the SC Woman art is in the Reception section, and not the Conception and design section where it is explicitly mentioned?

It helps tie into the emphasis on the character's sexualization on the part of the developers, a big part of her reception as a character.

Miscellaneous

The article does not explain why she is listed as an adoptee or orphan, nor does it explain what magic she uses or what fire/heat abilities she has. Why are those categories there?
- Fixed, leftover from Snake's work on the article I reckon.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 20:39, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source spot check

Picking a few sources at random:

8: This one doesn't mention Taki individually, but it discusses all of the characters as a group, so it should be fine.
19: Fine.
24: Fine.
26: Does not mention that Soulcalibur VI is a retelling of the first game, which is part of the statement it supports. Other than that, fine.
28: Fine.
57: Fine.
63: Fine.
69: Could not access, will AGF.
73: Fine

Could not access one of the sources, but since I only found one minor issue, if you can even call my comment on source 26 an issue, I will say that this article passes a spot check.

@QuicoleJR Addressed everything I could, let me know if there are still any hangups or things to fix.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 22:06, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Kung Fu Man: There's not much left to fix, just a few things that I missed on the first pass. Overall, this is a great article, and I'm glad I could help get it reviewed. QuicoleJR (talk) 00:16, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Is there a reason why Namco x Capcom and Queen's Gate are listed in the lead, while The King of Fighters All Star is not?

Added to lead.

To this end they gave her an outfit that emphasized the contours of her body to give her a sharper look, Is “give her a sharper look” something the developers said?

Added quotation marks.

Taki stands 170 cm (5 ft 7 in) and has a bust size of 90 cm (35 in). As of which game? You mentioned that the breast size kept increasing, so this statistic would vary depending on which design of the character was used.

Fixed this. The whole "breast growth" thing is a visible thing on the model and artwork; character wise her stats did not change.

It’s fine if the answer to this one is no, but could the Appearances section possibly include info about Soulcalibur II, III, and IV? It feels a bit weird to only mention her role in the first game and Soulcalibur V.

They're excluded because her story just never changes as the series progresses.

The latter sentiment was echoed when she was excluded from Soulcalibur V, resulting in negative reactions from both fans and publications, I'm fine with the “fans” part, but one publication does not seem like enough for the second part of that clause.

Tightened this up to just mention the sources in question.

along with an even larger version made exclusive for pre-orders only. Redundant and the grammar is bad. There are many ways you could fix this so I'm going to leave this one to you.

Rewrote.

@QuicoleJR Should be all fixed!--Kung Fu Man (talk) 04:55, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Kung Fu Man: Everything looks good. The number of quotes in the reception gave me a bit of pause, but it seems like they are unavoidable and standard for fighting game character GAs. I do not see any more issues for you to fix, so I will close this as successful. QuicoleJR (talk) 12:27, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.