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Talk:Take a Bow (Rihanna song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 12:22, 12 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Checklist

[edit]
Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. See below
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). See below
2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. Fine
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). See below
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. Fine
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Fine
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. See below
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
7. Overall assessment. Pending

Comments

[edit]
1A
Overall
  • Not bad. A couple mixed AME-BRE spellings, but that should all be fixed now. As usual, you seem to favour longer sentences. Most of what I didn't fix on my own falls under that category.
Lead
  • ""Take a Bow" is a song by Barbadian recording artist Rihanna, taken from the re-release, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded (2008), of her third studio album Good Girl Gone Bad (2007)." -- Having Good Girl Gone Bad located right next to GGGBR is a little awkward. Any way to separate them further?
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • "Take a Bow" was released as the first single from the re-release, and the fifth overall single from Good Girl Gone Bad. -- GGGB again; is there a phrasing to avoid it?
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • "Critical reception of "Take a Bow" was mixed, with some critics praising the song's lyrics and powerful balladry impact, while others criticized the lack of originality with regard to Stargate's production." -- Might not be accurate. From the body of the article, it looks like the lyrics received pretty evenly spread praise.
    Thus, they praised it. Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • "Take a Bow" also peaked at number one on the US Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs and US Pop Songs charts -- Not sure if could just amalgamate 'songs', like ""Take a Bow" also peaked at number one on the US Hot R&B/Hip-Hop and US Pop Songs charts"
     Done Re-worded. There is nothing wrong with it really because that is the name of the chart. Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • "The song's accompanying music video was directed by Anthony Mandler and presents Rihanna as the female protagonist who has left her boyfriend due to him being unfaithful in the relationship." -- Why not keep it short and sweet: "The song's accompanying music video was directed by Anthony Mandler and presents Rihanna as the female protagonist who has left her boyfriend because of his infidelity." or something like that. A little overly long.
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
Background and composition
  • "The song premiered on February 14, 2008, on the KIIS-FM radio show On Air with Ryan Seacrest[3] and was released as the fifth overall single from Good Girl Gone Bad, but the first from the re-release of the album, entitled Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded.[4]" -- A bit of a run-on sentence. Perhaps it should be divided in two, with the first up to Seacrest and the second discussing the albums.
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • "Take A Bow" was made available to purchase in media outlets, via Def Jam Recordings' website, on the same day as its radio premiere in the United States[5] and was made available to download via iTunes on May 6, 2008.[6]" -- Perhaps "Take A Bow" was made available to purchase in media outlets, via Def Jam Recordings' website, on the same day as its radio premiere in the United States,[5] later being made available to download via iTunes on May 6, 2008.[6]
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • A couple comments in the section below about the About.com review.
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
Critical reception
  • "Levine continued in his review to write that although the ballad succeeds in its mission of telling of a failed relationship, he noted that the song was not at the same level as the singer's previous single, "Don't Stop the Music", writing "'Take A Bow' does what it sets out to do very well, but it's an underwhelming follow-up to the dancefloor rush of 'Don't Stop The Music'"" -- That's one monster of a sentence. Perhaps "Levine continued in his review to write that, although the ballad succeeds in its mission of telling of a failed relationship, it was not at the same level as the singer's previous single, "Don't Stop the Music"; he noted that "'Take A Bow' does what it sets out to do very well, but it's an underwhelming follow-up to the dancefloor rush of 'Don't Stop The Music'"" or something like that.
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
Music video
  • The plot is a little too in-depth; some plots for feature-length movies are shorter. Anyway to trim it?
    It's no different of longer that a lot of synopsis', see here, here and here as a few examples. Calvin • Watch n' Learn
Live performances
  • "To promote Rihanna's fourth studio album, Rated R (2009), in the UK, Rihanna performed "Take a Bow" at the launch of the Nokia X6 smartphone at Brixton Academy in London" -- Suggest cutting "in the UK"
    No. Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • What do you mean by "stripped down"?
    Like, when you strip it back. I guess it's similar to what an acoustic performance is about. Stripped down means less production. Calvin • Watch n' Learn


1b
  • The about.com review seems to me to work better in the critical commentary section.
     Done Calvin • Watch n' Learn
2a
2b
  • A minor complaint, easy to spot (I've added a "when" tag to it).
     Done
3b
  • "... the lead single from Good Girl Gone Bad "Umbrella" selling 277,000 copies in May 2007, which held the record for having the largest opening digital sales tally, until Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" opened with sales of 286,000 copies in April 2008." -- I fail to see what Mariah Carey's song has to do with things. I'd go with something like "... the lead single from Good Girl Gone Bad "Umbrella" selling 277,000 copies in May 2007, holding the record for having the largest opening digital sales tally until April 2008."
    But your version leaves the reader wanting to know who? Calvin • Watch n' Learn
6a
  • What is being shown by the audio clip to make it "significantly increase readers' understanding of the topic, and its omission would be detrimental to that understanding" (FUC8)? It's all fine and well that the About.com critic thought the arrangement was standard, but such a subjective statement isn't well illustrated by an audio clip. Perhaps something on the arrangement?
  • The sound file is too long. Song length is 229 seconds (3:49); as such, to be 10% or lower it can be at max 22 seconds. Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:41, 12 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    I have asked someone to upload a new one, so for the mean time, I've removed the file. Calvin • Watch n' Learn
  • Duplication detector checks:
  1. Fine
  2. 2
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