Talk:Supreme Show/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 14:25, 22 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there! I'm Cartoon network freak and here's my review for your GAN:

Lead

studio album by -> studio album recorded by
album. It was also released ten months after her joint project album, Dolce. -> album, following her joint project album, Dolce.; the 10-months info is overflous
composed, and -> composed and
vocalist, and -> vocalist and
album; a -> album — a
Remove "worldwide"
critics. Critics commended -> critics, with them praising
moderate success. Supreme Show became -> moderate success, becoming
lead single "One" was -> lead single, "One",
on the Japan Hot 100 chart. It sold over -> on the Japan Hot 100, with it selling
was a moderate commercial success -> was as well majorly successful
peaked at number -> reached
Japan Hot 100 chart -> remove "chart"
Suzuki promoted the album on several live gigs and concert performances; she later promoted the album on her Happy 27th Birthday Tour and Happy 28th Birthday Tour, both which included tracks from Supreme Show. -> In order to promote the record, Suzuki added its songs on the tracklists of her Happy 27th Birthday Tour and Happy 28th Birthday Tour.

Background and development

Suzuki and her -> She and her
with Suzuki, and -> with Suzuki and
with Suzuki since -> with her since
2008, and his -> 2008 and his
production of 2008 -> production of that year
marks her seventh -> marks Suzuki's seventh

Composition

with numerous elements of -> that incorporates elements of
Remove "she stated that"
the 2007 period -> her 2007 career period
Suzuki had spoken with Robert Michael Poole from The Japan Times, and stated during the process; "I was wondering what kind of music would fit me now, and as I searched, I realized that house and electro really fits me. I had been going to a lot of club events recently with Nakata... That scene attracts hardcore music fans, and I realized that working with this producer would be extremely cool and would transcend Japanese pop convention." -> Suzuki has spoken with Robert Michael Poole from The Japan Times, stating that "[she] was wondering what kind of music would fit [her] now,and as [she] searched, [she] realized that working with this producer would be extremely cool and would transcend Japanese pop convention."
She later stated "I have made a lot of different styles of music in my career, and I want to be free to go with what I feel in my bones at the time. People may wonder which form is the one I enjoy the most, or which one fits me best, but at this time I can say with confidence that this electro style is great for me." -> She as well confessed that "[she has] made a lot of different styles of music in [her] career, and [she wants] to be free to go with what [she feels] in [her] bones at the time. People may wonder which form is the one [she enjoys] the most, or which one fits [her] best, but at this time [she] can say with confidence that this electro style is great for [her]."
Majority of -> The majority
tracks are composed -> tracks were composed
songs, and Suzuki's vocals on every track are processed with autotune and vocoder post-production work. -> songs. Suzuki's vocals are processed with autotune and vocoder post-production work on every track.
This is Suzuki's -> Supreme Show remains Suzuki's
Try to change "was described"; it's the same all the time with the songs
You need to state somewhere that the record was compared to Minogue

Release and packaging

It was also -> Furthermore, the record was; remove "also"
but this album was not recognized as an 10th Anniversary album -> Remove it
This is Suzuki's first double album release in one year; in 2000, both Infinity Eighteen Vol. 1 and Infinity Eighteen Vol. 2 were released in February and April respectively. -> it is overflous
features the -> features its
Make this edit on every piece of article it appears: Anniversary -> anniversary
The CD and DVD format features the eleven tracks in a jewel case, and a bonus DVD with the music videos to "One", "Can't Stop the Disco", and a live performance at Club Asia. -> To commercialize the album's CD and DVD formats, a jewel case was as well used for packaging; they feature the music videos of "One" and "Can't Stop the Disco", and one of Suzuki's live performances at Club Asia.
Make sure your sentences feature not the same

Outcome: As you have seen, I have reviewed only a select amount of sections, with them raising up overweight basic errors of grammar and style. However, I would like to re-review this again once you have fixed this issues and made sure that this article uses long sentences (not short and clipped ones) and varied grammar. Until then I'm going to fail this. Good luck to you and best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 07:36, 23 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.