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Talk:Storming of Farnham Castle

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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Storming of Farnham Castle/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 20:42, 21 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

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GA Criteria

GA Criteria:

  • 1
    1.a checkY
    1.b ☒N
  • 2
    2.a checkY
    2.b checkY
    2.c checkY
    2.d checkY
  • 3
    3.a checkY
    3.b checkY
  • 4
    4.a checkY
  • 5
    5.a checkY
  • 6
    6.a checkY
    6.b checkY
  • No DAB links checkY
  • No dead links checkY
  • No missing citations checkY

Discussion

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Prose Suggestions

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Please note that all of these are suggestions, and can be implemented or ignored at your discretion.

Background

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  • At the outbreak of the civil war, most area around Farnham favoured the Royalists. suggest At the outbreak of the civil war, most of the area surrounding Farnham favoured the Royalists.
  • and declared the Earl of Essex, and by extension Parliament, suggest and declared the Earl of Essex, and all of Parliament, by extension, also link Parliament.
  • That action had been the culmination of religious, fiscal and legislative tensions going back over fifty years suggest Over fifty years of religious, fiscal and legislative tensions led up to this action. little less awkard IMO.
  • He evacuated his men and what ammunition he could during the night, and the next day, 9 November, Royalist forces under Sir John Denham took possession of the castle. suggest On the night of 8 November he evacuated his men and what ammunition he could, and Royalist forces under Sir John Denham took possession of the castle the next day.

Prelude

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Battle

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  • the Parliamentarian force commanded by Waller, which comprised cavalry and dragoons, approached the castle and demanded its surrender. suggest the Parliamentarian force commanded by Waller, comprised of cavalry and dragoons, approached the castle and demanded its surrender.
  • Despite the meagre defence, Colonel Anthony Fane, unless "meagre" is a direct quote, I'd change it to "inexperienced", for NPOV reasons.
  • Once they had destroyed the gate, they were still unable to gain entrance to castle due to the wooden barricade. Once the Parliamentarians had entered the keep, the garrison surrendered suggest Once the Parliamentarians had destroyed the gate, they were still unable to gain entrance to the castle because of the wooden barricade; however, the garrison surrendered after they entered the keep.