Talk:Steve Graham/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 23:18, 13 April 2014 (UTC)

I'll take up this review as part of the chain of Paralympians submitted in past few days. I mainly focus on copy editing issues. Given the size of these articles the GAR itself should not take too long so I will leave down some initial comments on these articles within 48 hours. I'm sorry if I'm reviewing too many of your articles, Hawkeye! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 23:18, 13 April 2014 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   It is well referenced.

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

• The lead summaries the article and complies per WP:LEAD and the GA criteria. Well done!

Personal

• Just like the previous article, any possible expansion (either big or small) would be appreciated. If no such details can be found, don't worry - this does not affect the GA criteria.
  • Sorry, I just don't have anything. I will interview him at some point. Hawkeye7 (talk) 03:50, 26 April 2014 (UTC)

Coaching

• There are two confusing sentences in this section: "He mentored and coached Michael Milton, Australia's first Winter Paralympics medallist" and then shortly after this "Graham also coached Jessica Gallagher, Australia's first Winter Paralympic medallist," - how can they both be Australia's first Winter Paralympic medalists?
  • Y Jessica was the first female medallist. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 03:50, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
• Also, medallist -> medalist (but I've corrected this myself!)
  • Y No, it is spelt "medallist" in Australian Engflish. Hawkeye7 (talk) 03:50, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
• "According to an interview published on the Australian Paralympic Committee site, his immediate priority is to prepare athletes for the 2014 Winter Paralympics," - the Winter Paralympics have finished, should this sentence need correcting?
  • Y It's all in the past [tense] now. Hawkeye7 (talk) 03:50, 26 April 2014 (UTC)
• "Part of the effort involves having an athlete retention[11]" - ref should be moved at the end of the sentence.
  • Y This is a big problem in several sports

On hold

I'll put this on hold for the standard seven days. The only problems with this article are a few copy editing issues I have mentioned above and a few confusing sentences that needs clarifying in the Coaching section. The Personal section would need expanding, but if it isn't possible then it should be no problem. Once those issues have been addressed this should have no problem passing the GAN. Thanks, ☠ Jaguar ☠ 20:40, 25 April 2014 (UTC)

• All points addressed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 03:50, 26 April 2014 (UTC)

Close - promoted

I'll keep these brief. All issues addressed. The article now meets the GA criteria. Well done! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 21:28, 26 April 2014 (UTC)