Talk:Steeplechase Park/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 02:52, 14 December 2019 (UTC)

Lead

• new rides and new amusements to Steeplechase ===>>> new rides and new amusements to the park
  • Done.
• Steeplechase Park was also becoming unprofitable ===>>> Steeplechase Park was becoming unprofitable
  • Done.

Tilyou's early ventures

• In 1876, at the age of fourteen, Tilyou sold boxes of Coney Island sand and salt water to unwitting tourists for 25 cents each, earning $13.45 in the process <<<=== re-word to make it clearer that this was his first (or one of his first?) business ventures, and not so related to his bigger investments later on (unless it was related?)
  • Hopefully I clarified this. epicgenius (talk) 16:11, 14 December 2019 (UTC)
• After noting that the nearby Sheepshead Bay, Gravesend and Brighton Beach horse-racing tracks were very popular, Tilyou added other rides and attractions. <<<=== Were those other rides near the tracks?
  • I clarified that these were part of the Coney Island peninsula in general. epicgenius (talk) 16:11, 14 December 2019 (UTC)

1897–1907: Creation and early years

• Thompson and Dundy elected not to keep A Trip To The Moon at Steeplechase, instead creating their own park <<<=== instead moving it to their new park?
  • Done.
• However, the sale of Steeplechase was annulled in February 1905 after $50,000 had been paid. <<<=== Can you explain why the sale was annulled?
  • Done.
• such attractions as ===>> attractions such as
  • Done.

1907 fire and rebuilding

• , though firefighters fought to save Tilyou's house ===>>> ; however, firefighters fought to save Tilyou's house
  • Done.

1910s and 1920s

• such as when the Upside-Down House burned down in 1911 ===>>> such as the Upside-Down House burning down in 1911
  • Done.

1930s: Great Depression through World War II

• Okay.

1940s and 1950s: downfall

• an increasing proportion of Steeplechase visitors' demographics was African-American ===>>> an increasing proportion of Steeplechase visitors were African-American
  • Done.
• Arthur Godfrey and His Friends <<<=== should be italicized
  • Done.
• Marie, who had long wanted to change Steeplechase's images <<<=== just "image"?
  • Done.

Demise

• On September 20, 1964, Steeplechase Park closed for the last time. <<<=== either "opened for the last time" or "closed permanently"
  • Basically, this park operated only seasonally, opening at the beginning of the season (in May) and closing at the end (September or October). This was the end of the 1964 season. At the time, the operators did not intend for the park to close permanently, and were actually anticipating to open it the next year, so the second wording would not work. epicgenius (talk) 16:11, 14 December 2019 (UTC)
• U.S. president Donald Trump ===>>> future U.S. president Donald Trump
  • Done.

Trump ownership and Kaufman operation

• Trump destroyed Steeplechase Park's Pavilion of Fun ===>>> Trump demolished Steeplechase Park's Pavilion of Fun
  • Done.
• Still, the city had finally succeeded in evicting Kaufman ===>>> Nevertheless, the city had finally succeeded in evicting Kaufman

Development as stadium

• Okay.

Current status

• Okay.

Overall

• A lot of links are unnecessarily in ALL CAPS.
• No dab links.
• Well-sourced.
• No plagiarism detected.
• All the links work.

Well done! Not many comments, and all of them are minor. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 04:34, 14 December 2019 (UTC)

@Sportsfan77777: Thanks for the comments. I have replied to all of these. epicgenius (talk) 16:11, 14 December 2019 (UTC)

Looks good, passing! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 02:37, 15 December 2019 (UTC)