Talk:State visit by Ngo Dinh Diem to the United States/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.

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Reviewer: Jappalang (talk) 09:05, 30 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
~~Generally prose is good, but with some niggles pointed below.~~ Resolved.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
~~What are the opinions of other major players (USSR, UK, China, North Vietnam) over this visit?~~ No major content on this by reliable sources found.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
~~Per above, what is the international opinion of Diem's visit?~~ No reliable sources found.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
~~See below; one image with uncertain copyright status~~ Removed.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
~~On hold until issues are resolved~~ Pass.

Item 1 issues

"The South Vietnamese president also made stops at the city's main Roman Catholic institution, St Patrick's Cathedral—a Catholic, Diem had been helped to power by the lobbying of Cardinal Francis Spellman and American Catholic politicians."
Not certain the em-dash is correctly used here...

"Diem made little impression the first meeting, ..."
Missing word?

"The success of his presentation prompted Diem to stay in the US to campaign, ..."
Which presentation?

When did Diem return to Vietnam? Did he do so on his appointment as Prime Minister, or around the time he deposed Bao Dai, or some other time?

"... and asserted that Ho would rig the ballots in the north, although he had done so himself in deposing Bao Dai."
This is the first time the method of deposition was mentioned and it is too sudden in this sentence. Perhaps, how it was done should have been worked into the first time Bao Dai was mentioned to be deposed (election and vote rigging).

"Diem's trip came after two years of American attempts to schedule a state visit. In 1955, Washington made two attempts to organise a trip, ..."
Is this a trip as a Prime Minister or President? Because later the statement would say he depose Bao Dai, which makes it confusing...

"Senator Mansfield, a Democrat from Montana said ..."
I thought Mansfield had already been introduced earlier? "A Democrat from Montana" makes this sound like another Mansfield...

"Mansfield's praise was given more weight than that of other senators, as he was a professor of Asian History before entering politics."
Should be rephrased since this was mentioned earlier; perhaps "Mansfield's praise was given more weight than that of other senators because of his academic qualifications before entering politics."

"In 1963, as mass civil disobedience broke out due to discontent from the Buddhist majority over Diem's pro-Catholic discrimination following the fatal shootings of nine people protesting the ban on the Buddhist flag, the US began to lose confidence in Diem's ability to run the country effectively and prevent the growth of the communist insurgency, believing that he was an obstacle to religious and thus national stability."
A long sentence with several noun plus -ings; this should be rephrased into several shorter sentences.

Item 6 issue

File:MikeMansfieldSenate.jpg
Per http://bioguide.congress.gov/copyright.htm: "Not all images are in the public domain; some images may be protected by the U.S. Copyright Law (Title 17, U.S.C.). Do not duplicate without permission from copyright holder. Copyright information is provided whenever possible, but it is ultimately the responsibility of the user to determine and satisfy the copyright and other restrictions.", what evidence states this to be "taken by an official employee of the Congress, or because it has been released into the public domain"?

Suggested rewordings

"Diem arrived by plane in Washington, D.C. on May 8, and was greeted at the airport by President Dwight D. Eisenhower, only the second visiting head of state to be treated by Eisenhower in such a manner."
Suggestion: "Diem arrived by plane in Washington, D.C. on May 8, and was personally greeted at the airport by President Dwight D. Eisenhower—an honor Eisenhower accorded to only one other visiting head of state."

"... as Diem spoke continuously, rendering discussions impossible."
"... as Diem spoke continuously, rendering two-way discussions impossible."

"The Governor Mennen Williams decreed May 15 to be 'Ngo Dinh Diem Day' the South Vietnamese leader was given an honorary degree in front of 4,000 onlookers, after making a speech."
I think the sentence is not quite clear in its meaning (I had to read it three times on its own without any words around it to get the meaning); perhaps "On May 15, the South Vietnamese leader gave a speech to 4,000 people and received an honorary degree; Governor Mennen Williams decreed that day to be 'Ngo Dinh Diem Day'."?

Overall, the prose is well written. I would not have missed the absence of international reaction if I had not thought about it later. However, we have the checklist so this criterion should be checked. Holding off assessment until above issues are resolved. Jappalang (talk) 09:05, 30 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I did the prose and removed the picture, but trawls in the archives of Time and NYT and some Australian papers didn't yield anything about communist reaction YellowMonkey (new photo poll) 02:05, 31 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Pages 137–138 of Peter Busch's All the way with JFK?: Britain, the US, and the Vietnam War (2003) might contain a short blurb of British view towards the visit; it might also serve as an outsider analysis of the positive reception Diem receive then. However, I cannot judge on this since I cannot view the contents of p. 138.

Prue Torney-Parlicki's Somewhere in Asia: war, journalism and Australia's neighbours 1941-75 mentions that Diem received a overly-positive response in Australia in September the same year. Perhaps the article should mention this in a "Similarly, Australia accorded Diem a ..." to show that it is not only United States who treated Diem in that manner?

You might like to provide an external link to http://books.google.com/books?id=Jj8EAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA156, Life's 1957 article on Diem printed in support of his visit (gives a bit of flavour to the article in terms of extra reading material).

The above would help in a push for FA. As of now, I believe the article suffices to be a GA. Jappalang (talk) 02:52, 31 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]