Talk:State Shinto/GA2
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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:22, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
Hi! I will be reviewing this in the next few days. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:22, 9 June 2016 (UTC)
Fairly well-written, no copyvio detected, no dablinks, comments in the previous review have been addressed. The following are my comments. I would ping Midnightblueowl, the previous reviewer, to know what she thinks of the article now. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:37, 11 June 2016 (UTC)
- Origins of the term
- spirit-worship, which dates back No comma needed here
- dates back to the sixth century Add AD/BC when you begin with the article
- during the Meiji era Would be helpful to add in a (x–y) format the years of the Meiji era, for those of us who don't know.
- Definitions
- Though some scholars It would be helpful to name a few. This may appear vague to some as it is.
- "State Shinto" was not an official designation for any practice or belief in Imperial Japan, but describes a mixture Sudden change from past to present tense?
- though conservative scholars It would be helpful to name a few
- The "Meiji period" link is a duplicate (it was linked only a section ago)
- State control of shrines
- Shinto priests, even when...Shrine board in 1940. Source?
- I think the first and second paras can be merged. The first line is, I understand, a summary of the section, but may appear unsourced at first. Better put an example immediately after it.
- Up to that point, individual priests I think this link should be placed at first mention of "priest". I am not sure if you are referring to a specific type of priests, though.
- which some scholars suggest is evidence Naming a few can reduce vagueness
- Ideological origins
- The lack of enthusiasm among the population has been attributed to Attributed to by whom?
- Who is Fukuzawa Yukichi?
- ideological threat to the Meiji-era government "Meiji era", for consistency
- Shinto rituals were a civic responsibility Why is "rituals" in italics?
- and lead to a sharp decline in both state grants I think it is "led", not "lead"
- it was suggested that to die in battle was a high honor Suggested by whom? Or was this a popular belief?
- Post-war
- Scholars suggest this was a concession from Name a few scholars
That is all I have to say for now. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 10:46, 11 June 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks so much for this thorough review! I've tackled all of your recommended changes. --Owlsmcgee (talk) 19:20, 11 June 2016 (UTC)
- Great. I assume Midnightblueowl has nothing more to say, so I promote this. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:50, 14 June 2016 (UTC)
- Great, my first ever GA! Thanks for taking the time to evaluate it. --Owlsmcgee (talk) 03:48, 15 June 2016 (UTC)
- Great. I assume Midnightblueowl has nothing more to say, so I promote this. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 07:50, 14 June 2016 (UTC)