Talk:Stan Robb/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 00:10, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Will review. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 00:10, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I really like the images; they are a nice way of illustrating an article. On hold; over to you! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 17:15, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

Good to go. The newspaper extract from Canton Daily News is PD.

File(s)

All files are relevant and have a valid public domain rationale on Commoms.

Prose

The lead could be greatly expended; it should summarise some more in-depth aspects of his career.
In § Early life and education, I would lead with his full name as its his first mention in the body.
"Robb also attended for a time Mercersburg Academy." – should for a time not come after the Academy?
"Around 1917, he registered for World War I" – change to "Around 1917, he enlisted in World War I."
"with one newspaper writing" – in this context I would name the publication.
The last paragraph of the first section reads strangely to me. Could some elaboration perhaps be given on ""fame""?
"Robb had tackled a Hartford player, and Nichols" – is the comma necessary here?
"He registered for World War II in February 1942." – enlisted in like above.

Refs

Passes spotcheck on refs 5, 10, 15, 23 and 28. Was able to confirm 5 and 28 via Ancestry.com.

Others

Short description should go at the very top.
Recommend adding template:use X English if applicable.
@LunaEatsTuna: I believe I've addressed all of the issues; let me know if I missed anything or if there's anything else you'd like done. Thanks. BeanieFan11 (talk) 20:01, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Nope, looks good! I really love what you did with the lead. Pass. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.