Jump to content

Talk:Spring Day (song)/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:36, 31 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Will start this review soon, have a talk page message for you in relation to it first though... --K. Peake 07:36, 31 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Target Universal Japan to Universal Studios Japan in the infobox
  • Shouldn't the Korean Augean version of the title be in bold?
  • "It was released on" → "The song was released for digital download and streaming" with the appropriate targets
  • "A remix of the track" → "A remix of the song"
  • "released for free on" → "released for free via"
  • "was recorded and issued" → "was issued"
  • "that included tracks" → "that included the tracks"
  • "Musically, "Spring Day" is an" → "The song is an"
  • "power ballad which relies on rock instrumentals." → "power ballad, which relies on rock instrumentation."
  • "The track's lyrics revolve" → The lyrics revolve"
  • "grief and moving on." → "grief, and moving on."
  • "and the band's vocal delivery." → "and BTS' vocal delivery."
  • "It received several accolades including," → ""Spring Day" received several accolades, including"
  • "on the K-pop decade-end list of" → "on the decade-end list of the best K-pop songs by"
  • "Commercially, "Spring Day" was a" → "Commercially, the song was a"
  • "where it debuted at number one" → "debuting at number one"
  • "the Gaon Digital Chart and has" → "the Gaon Digital Chart, and it has"
  • "chart" is not needed at the end of the Billboard sentence since the chart has clearly been named
  • "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas" should be surrounded by speech marks and not italicised
  • Are you sure something shouldn't be written about what the video features?
  • A lot of metaphors are featured in the visual, so it's difficult to pinpoint one thing, but I'll look into it.
  • "symbolism and won" → "symbolism and was awarded"
  • "BTS promoted the song" → "BTS promoted "Spring Day"
  • "It was also included" → "The song was also included"
  • Are you sure set list should be wikilinked?
  • Any reason it shouldn't be targeted? I've seen a few GAs with the wikilink so I kept it that way.
  • "of their second worldwide" → "of the band's second worldwide"

 Done Everything else.

Background and release

[edit]
  • "at number one on the" → "at number one on South Korea's"
  • "of 2016 in South Korea." → "of 2016 in the country."
  • "in January 2017, that a sequel" → "in January 2017 that a sequel"
  • "to be a part of the reissue, when the band" → "to be slated for release on the reissue when the band subsequently" to specify it was around that time
  • "On February 10 of that year, it was" → "On February 10, 2017, the song was"
  • "the first single from the album." → "the lead single from You Never Walk Alone." with the wikilink
  • [5] should not be invoked at this point since [4] backs up everything in the sentence
  • "main melody of the song. He wrote it between" → "main melody of the song, which he wrote between"
  • "and December 2016, during a walk" → "and December 2016 during a walk"
  • Should it be mentioned that the leaves were blown off trees or maybe change to "blown away"?
  • changed it to the former.
  • "are credited as songwriters. Production was solely handled by Pdogg." → "are credited as songwriters on "Spring Day", with the latter of the seven solely handling production"
  • Remove wikilink on South Korea as it's too obvious
  • "It was" → "The track was"
  • "Jeong Wooyeong, and Peter Ibsen," → "Jeong Wooyeong, and Ibsen,"
  • Remove wikilink on lead single
  • Are you sure [9] is needed here since it does not directly state the song was the lead single?
  • "lead single" is already backed up by that teaser article so mentioning it here is merely a repetition, does it still need to be covered here? Also, keeping [9] since it serves a secondary ref. for the release date, etc.
  • "was released for free on" → "was released for free to"
  • "It has identical song-writing credits to the original recording with" → "The remix has identical songwriting credits to the original version, though"
  • "as the producer." → "serves as the producer."
  • "was recorded and issued" → "was recorded, which was issued"
  • Target Universal Music Japan to Universal Studios Japan
  • "of the band's seventh" → "of BTS' seventh"
  • "together with the Japanese versions of" → "together with the versions of"
  • Target singles to Single (music)
  • "(2017)." → "(2017) in the same language." since this is a lot better prose and we know "same language" refers to Japanese here
  • "It was also released" → "The single album was simultaneously released"
  • "in Japan on the same day." → "in Japan."
  • "The lyrics for the Japanese version" → "The lyrics for the Japanese version of "Spring Day""
  • Are you sure KM-Markit shouldn't be in all caps?
  • [15] does not back up that he wrote the song
  • Changed to liner notes since an editor confirmed that the CD credits him.
  • "third Japanese-language studio album," → "third Japanese-language studio album"

 Done Everything else here

Music and lyrics

[edit]
  • "driven by rock instrumentals." → "driven by rock instrumentation." on the audio sample text
  • [20] needs to be added to the sample text for verifying the ballad statement
  • ref. [20] states that the song is a power ballad: "With "Spring Day", BTS challenged that perception by analyzing grief and yearning in the form of a sweeping power ballad".
  • ""Spring Day" is a" → "Musically, "Spring Day" is a"
  • Target midtempo to Tempo
  • "is composed in 4
    4     time     and the" → "is composed in the time signature of 4
    4     time and the"
  • Remove wikilink on tempo
  • "Constructed in verse-chorus form," → "Constructed in verse–chorus form,"
  • "instrumentals consisting primarily" → "instrumentation that consists primarily"
  • "The production makes use" → "The production of the song makes use"
  • Target percussion to Percussion instrument
  • "electronic sounds which provide" → "electronic sounds, which provide"
  • "The song consist of "rap-breaks"," → "The song consists of "rap-breaks,""
  • "deliveries in which" → "deliveries, for which"
  • "vocal range span" → "vocal range spans"
  • Wikilink should be on strums to itself instead, as done here
  • Target The Singles Jukebox to Stylus Magazine
  • "meaning of the song in a" → "meaning behind "Spring Day" during a"
  • Wikilink V Live to itself instead
  • "stated that he wrote the lyrics" → "stated that he wrote the lyrics when"
  • "high-school mates from whom" → "high-school mates, from whom"
  • "He compared the mood of the song" → "RM compared the song's mood"
  • "previous songs," → "previous tracks" since elsewise, it sounds like they were the only two tracks before this one
  • Add release years of the tracks in brackets
  • both songs were released in 2015, so changed it to "the band's 2015 singles".
  • "the song uses seasonal metaphor" → "the song use a seasonal metaphor"
  • Wikilink imagery
  • "grief and moving on:" → "grief, and moving on:"
  • "suggests the" → "is a line used to suggest the"
  • "others" and touches upon themes" → "others," and they touch upon themes"
  • Remove target on chorus
  • "Towards the song's conclusion," → "Towards the end of the song,"
  • "of a reunion;" → "of a reunion:"

 Done Everything else

Critical reception

[edit]
  • "received generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
  • "and the band's vocal delivery," → "and BTS' vocal delivery,"
  • "for the same publication," → "for the same magazine," since that is what Billboard identifies as
  • "any BTS release", it's" → "any BTS release," it is" to be more clear
  • "cited it as one of the best songs of BTS" → "cited the track as one of the best songs by BTS"
  • Wikilink Dazed like this instead
  • "vocal delivery regarding the track" → "vocal delivery, regarding the track"
  • "where she called" → "in which she called"
  • "Hyo-beom Jeong Hyo-beom acclaimed the track highlighting" → "Jeong Hyo-beom acclaimed the track, highlighting"
  • wrote it as Hyo-beom Jeong since "Jeong" is the surname.
  • "and regarded it as a" → "and he regarded the track as a"
  • "He added," → "Hyo-beom added,"
  • wrote it as "Jeong added" per above.
  • Target hip-hop to Hip hop music
  • "this hit" which he" → "this hit," which he"
  • Wikilink K-pop
  • "that "sees the" → "and opined that it "see the"
  • ""Reviewing for" → "Reviewing for"
  • "in BTS’s aesthetics"" → "in [BTS'] aesthetics"" since the poor grammar is not our fault
  • "the group’s previous" → "the group's previous"
  • Target pop to Pop music
  • "best song and labelled it as an" → "best song, labelling the track an"
  • "it is " a classic" → "it is "a classic"
  • "acclaimed the song stating" → "acclaimed the song, stating"
  • "also of the same publication, described it" → "of the same publication, described the song"
  • ""the ballad’s complex" → ""the ballad's complex"
  • Remove wikilink on K-pop
  • "songs of 2017." → "songs of 2017 on their respective lists." since otherwise, it sounds like they compiled only one list all together
  • "The former ranked it" → "The former of the three ranked it"
  • "of 2010s." → "of the 2010s."
  • Saying publication here is fine I guess, since it may read tiring to always instate magazine when not directly saying Billboard
  • "wrote that "'Spring Day'’s existence is" → "wrote that the existence of the song "is"
  • "representation of BTS’s artistry." → "representation of [BTS'] artistry.""
  • "on their list" → "on their 2020 list"
  • "won the Song of the Year at" → "won the Song of the Year award at"
  • Also, the above sentence and what follows it should be the sole para in prose for an awards sub-section in this section, which I will instruct below
  • The Best Music Video award belongs in the video's reception instead
  • Target to Music programs of South Korea should solely be on "weekly music programs" but keep the prose identical here
  • "due to its substantial success" → "due to the substantial success of the song"
  • For the awards subsection, it should have the two tables below the prose that I said to start it with and keep the tables separate; title the sub-section to Awards
  • The columns below the headers of the tables should not be centered
  • Are you sure the ones past the 9th Melon Music Awards don't have the numbered order of the first two?
  • Again, best music video should not be here so remove it from the first table

 Done all, I think

Commercial performance

[edit]
  • The chart crashing was the album not the song, also is [52] really needed here?
  • yes, reworded accordingly.
  • "number one on the" → "atop the country's"
  • "number-one hit." → "number one hit." though this "second" hit claim does not appear to be backed up by the source, unless it is in a sidebar or something that I've missed?
  • removed the second part.
  • "digital units in its" → "digital units in the"
  • "of the February 2017 issue" → "for the February 2017 issue"
  • "Gaon Monthly Digital Chart based on" → "Gaon Monthly Digital Chart, based on"
  • "For the year-end chart," → "For 2017's year-end chart,"
  • "it has sold over" → "the song has sold over"
  • "charting song on Melon to date" → "charting song on the Melon charts to date" for specifying
  • rephrased it as "Melon's digital chart, since we are talking of one chart only.
  • "In the US, the song" → "In the United States, the song"
  • "though it lasted only one week." → "though lasted only one week on the chart."
  • "Chart for the week of" → "chart for the week of"
  • "first week. It gave BTS" → "first week and giving BTS"
  • "the chart following" → "the chart." since the information about the other two is too much detail
  • [59] should be in the place of [60] instead, since that says everything that is written out here
  • "peaked at number 24 on the UK Independent Singles Chart and number 38 on the Billboard Japan Hot 100." → "further peaked at number 24 and 38 on the UK Independent Singles Chart and Billboard Japan Hot 100, respectively."

 Done all

Music video

[edit]

Background

[edit]
  • "premiered on Big Hit's" → "premiered via Big Hit's"
  • "by a teaser released on the" → "by a teaser, which was released to the"
  • "director of photography and Emma SungEun kim as" → "director of photography, while Emma SungEun kim received credit as"
  • "and JinSil Park as the" → "and JinSil Park was the"
  • "The filming took place" → "Filming for the music video took place"
  • "Yangju and Gangneung." → "Yangju, and Gangneung."
  • "fiction, The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, and Bong Joon-ho's movie," → "fiction "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas", as well as the movie"
  • "is heavy with symbolism" → "is heavily loaded with symbolism"
  • The source does not state the video lasts five minutes; cite something that shows this as well since it backs up the other info

 Done all

Synopsis

[edit]
  • "of "Spring Day"." → "for "Spring Day"." on the img main text
  • "The video opens with" → "The music video opens with"
  • "railway station with rusty signboards" → "railway station, which has rusty signboards"
  • "In it, he steps" → "In the station, he steps"
  • "who are not present." → "who are not present themselves."
  • "inside the train waiting" → "inside the train as he waits"
  • [65][60] should be put in numerical order
  • "with an close-up shot of RM, standing" → "with a close-up shot of RM, who stands"
  • "compartment, as the opening line of the song" → "compartment as the opening line of "Spring Day""
  • "who are sitting in" → "while they are sat in"
  • "which leads him" → "that leads him"
  • "inside the train which leads" → "when inside the train, which leads"
  • Target Jin to Kim Seok-jin
  • "staircase where the other members" → "staircase, on which the other members"
  • "park ride which has" → "park ride that has"
  • "each member and contrasting" → "each member, and contrasting"
  • "of the band as they" → "of BTS as they"
  • Maybe I'm not looking properly but the ref does not seem to say anything about the door being opened to the Omelas?
  • "The septet walk together" → "The band walk together"
  • "bare tree which stands" → "bare tree that stands"
  • "on its branches that" → "on the tree's branches, which"
  • "The visual ends with a closing shot" → "To end the visual, a closing shot is shown"
  • "hanging from its branches." → "hanging from the branches."

 Done all

Reception

[edit]
  • "that the visual references to" → "that the visual references"
  • "wrote that the video" → "wrote that the music video"
  • "the album’s title" → "the album's title"
  • "she felt that" → "Glasby felt that"
  • "changes one’s life" → "changes one's life"
  • "The video won" → "The music video was awarded"
  • "to do so at that time." → "to do so at the time."
  • "for their follow up single" → "for BTS' follow up single"
  • "with 10 million views." → "with 10 million views in a shorter period of time."
  • "It also became the" → "The video for "Spring Day" also became the" to be specific
  • "has over 300 million views." → "has over 300 million views on the platform."

 Done all

Live performances

[edit]
  • Img looks good, but you should write out in prose about the California live performance if possible with citation(s)
  • that is sadly not available
  • rewrote accordingly.
  • "for the two-day stop of" → "for the band's two-day stop during"
  • "To promote "Spring Day" and the album," → "To promote the song and You Never Walk Alone,"
  • "of the song on" → "of the song for"
  • "the group appeared on" → "they appeared on"
  • "and Inkigayo where they also performed "Not Today"." → "and Inkigayo, performing "Not Today" on the music programs."
  • this makes it sound as if they performed only "Not Today" on these shows.
  • still sounds a bit confusing to me.
  •  Done
  • Remove target on 2017 Melon Music Awards
  • Add release year of "DNA" in brackets
  • "On December 29, 2017," → "On December 29 of that year,"
  • "They performed the song again at" → "They performed the song at"
  • Remove wikilink on 32nd Golden Disc Awards
  • "as part of the three-song set on" → "as part of their three-song set for"
  • "wearing soft pastel-coloured" → "with the band wearing soft pastel-coloured"

 Done everything else

Track listing

[edit]
  • Retitle to Track listings as there's more then one
  •  Done
  • Was the Brit Rock Remix really released as download and streaming?
  • It was released on SoundCloud which allows its users to both stream and download as far as I know?
  • changed to "free streaming".

Credits and personnel

[edit]

Korean / Japanese version

[edit]
  • Target on You Never Walk Alone is pointless here
  • chorus, songwriting → songwriting, chorus (under Arlissa Ruppert since this order is correct)
  • Pdogg should come directly below Peter Ibsen and swap the order of songwriting and production for Pdogg
  • Are you sure KM-Markit shouldn't be capitalised like the name usually is?

 Done all

Brit Rock Remix

[edit]
  • chorus, songwriting → songwriting (the chorus credit is not mentioned at all by the ref)

 Done

Charts

[edit]

Weekly charts

[edit]
  • it's the latter.

 Done

Monthly charts

[edit]
  • Good

Year-end charts

[edit]
  • Good

Sales

[edit]
  • Remove this as there are no certifications and it is already written out in prose elsewhere

 Done

Release history

[edit]
  • Remix → Brit Rock Remix
  • Again, are you sure the format of the SoundCloud release is digital download and streaming?
  • changed to just "free streaming".

 Done all

See also

[edit]
  • Good

Notes

[edit]
  • "for both Korean and Japanese versions of the song" → "for both the Korean and Japanese versions of the song,"

 Done

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score looks fine at 32.4%
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
  • Wikilink V Live to itself on ref 5
  • Ref 7 is citing the incorrect release; those citations are for the album and do not provide anything about the song being its lead single
  • Tower Records Japan should be publisher instead for ref 14 and wikilink it
  • Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) for ref 15
  • Remove target on Billboard for ref 16
  • Wikilink Dazed to itself on ref 19
  • Target The Singles Jukebox to Stylus Magazine on ref 24
  • Remove target on Rolling Stone India for ref 28
  • Ref 29 is missing the language parameter
  • Ref 39 should cite Billboard
  • Remove or replace refs 40 and 44 per WP:RSP
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 42 and wikilink Naver
  • Mwave → MWave on ref 50
  • Should refs 56 and 86 have trans titles?
  • Refs 64 and 65 are missing the language parameter
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 72 and 73
  • Cite Ten Asia as publisher instead for ref 80
  • Shouldn't the via parameter be used for ref 82?
  • Ref 89 is a permanent dead link; fix this, maybe use an altered URL to find the correct archive?
  • I removed it.
  • Remove wikilink on Official Charts Company for ref 95

 Done everything else

[edit]
  • Good

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
  • Kyle Peake, pinging you, I think that I've addressed all concerns above but might have missed something out. Thank you for being patient and taking time reviewing this. You're very methodical with every review which I really appreciate. But it would've been probably best if I'd have submitted this article at the GOCE for a copy-edit before nominating. --Ashleyyoursmile! 09:50, 3 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ashleyyoursmile ✓ Pass time after fantastic work from you, massive well done on the amazing response time for all of the sections!!! I am glad you appreciate my reviewing, I believe it is my duty to give the best and most relevant comments possible consistently. --K. Peake 11:33, 3 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Spring_Day_(song)/GA1&oldid=976530495"