Talk:Speed 2: Cruise Control/GA1
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Reviewer: Igordebraga (talk · contribs) 04:02, 8 December 2012 (UTC)
While I don't have reviewed much, let's give it a shot. The article looks fine, being detailed, with reliable sources, and will probably pass after some work (I even did a small edit to fix some minor issues).
- The sentence about box office on the lead is kind of sloppy, can you rewrite it?
- On reception, where is the reference on the video release reviwer blurb, and also on how reviewers praised the ending?
- Ref 33 ( Sunday Today) has a broken parameter, and Ref 42 lacks the publisher.
- I wonder if the removed "Speed 3: Glacier of Doom" from Family Guy can be added to the references section. Referencing the episode itself like with the Simpsons example might work.
More later. igordebraga ≠ 04:02, 8 December 2012 (UTC)
- All improvements have been made. As far as the Family Guy parody, I think citing the episode directly may violate WP:OR. The only reason it worked for The Simpsons was because Speed 2 is actually referenced directly in the episode, whereas in the Family Guy episode is it a parody and I think we need a source explicitly stating its a parody and not just make that assumption (just as was done for the Father Ted reference). –Dream out loud (talk) 06:23, 10 December 2012 (UTC)
- "DeBont wrote the story with McCormick, and McCormick adapted it into a screenplay with Jeff Nathanson,[3] working backwards from the idea based on de Bont's nightmare.[11]" Can you reverse the order, saying that they started with the nightmare and then developed the script?
- "of his previous film, Twister (1996)" - remove "previous" and the comma. Also, the "he" on either this sentence or the next can be changed to "the director" to avoid being repetitive.
- The last paragraph of Background and writing is not much on background. Move to Filming, and maybe create a separate subsection regarding visual effects with content from both that section (including the ship's mock-up image) and this paragraph.
- "were also considered for the role." - maybe change to "the protagonist" as "role" already appears in the previous sentence.
- "Production later moved to the Seabourn Legend where the crew lived aboard the ship for six weeks" - either cut "the ship" or change "where" into "as".
- "De Bont chose singer Carlinhos Brown to also be featured as a performer on the ship because he wanted music that was "lively"" - "Brazilian singer Carlinhos Brown was also chosen to be featured as a performer on the ship because de Bont wanted..."
- "critisized " -> "criticized"
That's all I can find. igordebraga ≠ 01:55, 12 December 2012 (UTC)
- Ok thanks, I'll address these issues tomorrow. –Dream out loud (talk) 03:02, 16 December 2012 (UTC)
- All issues have been addressed except the one about the Twister reference. I think it's important to note that Twister was de Bont's "previous film" as it was the last film he had directed at the time, otherwise it just seems random to mention Twister in that paragraph as readers will not see its relevance. –Dream out loud (talk)
I get your point, but the repetition of "he" was still there. Fixed that, think it's good enough to pass now. igordebraga ≠ 19:48, 17 December 2012 (UTC)