Talk:Sound the Alarm (Saves the Day album)
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Sound the Alarm (Saves the Day album) has been listed as one of the Music good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: July 9, 2018. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Sound the Alarm (Saves the Day album)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 15:33, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:33, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- Looking at the sources first:
- Punknews.org is listed by WP:ALBUMS as reliable only if the review is tagged as a staff review. As far as I can see there's no such tag on Paul Aubin's articles.
- What makes the following reliable sources?
- reviewrinserepeat.com -- I see on the vacancies page that staff are unpaid, so this is not a professional organization.
- allschools.de
- contactmusic.com -- they describe themselves as a group of enthusiasts.
- No problems with copyvio or linkrot.
I'll wait to continue the review until we settle the issue with the sources, as that could change the content of the article. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 15:50, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- Re:Punknews: The staff tag doesn't show up on news articles (despite staff being the only people that can post news) for whatever reason. The tag shows up on his profile. Removed reviewrinserepeat, allschools and Contactmusic. Yeepsi (talk) 16:13, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
OK; continuing the review.
However, a line-up change occurred with bassist Eben D'Amico being replaced by Glassjaw member Manuel Carrero.
: I don't think this needs to be in the lead -- it has no effect on the timeline, and seems like something that can be left to the body of the article. In the lead, particularly with "however", it looks as if it is important in some way -- as if it delayed the recording.Pre-production took place in early August with recording taking place
: repetitious -- "took place...taking place".While self-funding the sessions, the band worked with Steve Evetts
: not what you mean to say, I think; they did both things, but this makes it sounds as if the two are connected.- When were they on Warped Tour? The lead doesn't say. It looks like 2006, judging from the body text. Looking at the source, it only says they were scheduled to perform. Can you find a source saying they did actually perform?
- "Saves the Day are no strangers to Warped Tour—first playing the fest in 2000, then again in 2006". Yeepsi (talk) 16:47, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- That will work; go ahead and add it and I'll strike the point. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:53, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- Added. Yeepsi (talk) 23:13, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- That will work; go ahead and add it and I'll strike the point. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:53, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- "Saves the Day are no strangers to Warped Tour—first playing the fest in 2000, then again in 2006". Yeepsi (talk) 16:47, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- The music video for the end is dated 2009, but the lead says it preceded the Warped Tour appearances, and the body makes it sound like it's at around that time, though it doesn't give a date.
- There used to be a AbsolutePunk ref with the date the video was released, but unfortunately all the AbsolutePunk links were removed from archive.org for unknown reason(s). Yeepsi (talk) 16:47, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- That's annoying. If we can't find another ref, I think we should just remove the reference to the music video from the lead, since we don't have a source that shows it was around the same time as the album release. The body just says it was released without giving a date so that's fine. Is the video mentioned in any reviews? If so that might imply a date. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:56, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- None of the reviews mention it; removed from lead. Yeepsi (talk) 23:13, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- That's annoying. If we can't find another ref, I think we should just remove the reference to the music video from the lead, since we don't have a source that shows it was around the same time as the album release. The body just says it was released without giving a date so that's fine. Is the video mentioned in any reviews? If so that might imply a date. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 19:56, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- There used to be a AbsolutePunk ref with the date the video was released, but unfortunately all the AbsolutePunk links were removed from archive.org for unknown reason(s). Yeepsi (talk) 16:47, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
The verses and lyrics of both were re-done
: what's the difference between verses and lyrics?- I think it's supposed to be referring to the chords/music structure of the verses, but that's not clarified in the source. Yeepsi (talk) 16:47, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- I'd make it just "lyrics", or perhaps say '"Shattered" and "Delusional" were initially intended to appear on In Reverie; both were rewritten for inclusion on Sound the Alarm ', since they say they "twiddled a bit", presumably referring to the music, and "rewritten" can refer to both lyrics and music. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:01, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- Changed. Yeepsi (talk) 23:13, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- I'd make it just "lyrics", or perhaps say '"Shattered" and "Delusional" were initially intended to appear on In Reverie; both were rewritten for inclusion on Sound the Alarm ', since they say they "twiddled a bit", presumably referring to the music, and "rewritten" can refer to both lyrics and music. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:01, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- I think it's supposed to be referring to the chords/music structure of the verses, but that's not clarified in the source. Yeepsi (talk) 16:47, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- The reception section needs some work. See WP:RECEPTION for some suggestions on how to improve it; you have the "A said B" problem, and there is no thematic organization of the section.
- Expanded/removed some viewpoints. Organised it as two paragraphs about the music and one about vocals/lyrics. Yeepsi (talk) 18:19, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- It's still essentially a list of quotes from reviewers, though it is certainly better to group them by what they're commenting on.. Can you find a sentence for the music and another for the vocals/lyrics that sums up the critical opinions, and place that sentence at the start of the relevant paragraphs? If you didn't have the reviews to refer to, and someone asked what the reviewers said, how would you sum it up? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:04, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- How does "Sound the Alarm was musically divisive between reviewers as some praised the riffs while others were unimpressed with the material in general" for the music, and "Reaction to Conley's voice was mixed with some reviewers commenting on its whininess; his lyrics received equally mixed responses" for the lyrics, sound? Yeepsi (talk) 23:13, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- I tweaked it some more, but I think we're just about there for GA purposes. The other two points above are addressed, so I'll promote this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:15, 9 July 2018 (UTC)
- How does "Sound the Alarm was musically divisive between reviewers as some praised the riffs while others were unimpressed with the material in general" for the music, and "Reaction to Conley's voice was mixed with some reviewers commenting on its whininess; his lyrics received equally mixed responses" for the lyrics, sound? Yeepsi (talk) 23:13, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- It's still essentially a list of quotes from reviewers, though it is certainly better to group them by what they're commenting on.. Can you find a sentence for the music and another for the vocals/lyrics that sums up the critical opinions, and place that sentence at the start of the relevant paragraphs? If you didn't have the reviews to refer to, and someone asked what the reviewers said, how would you sum it up? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 20:04, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
- Expanded/removed some viewpoints. Organised it as two paragraphs about the music and one about vocals/lyrics. Yeepsi (talk) 18:19, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:33, 8 July 2018 (UTC)
All points addressed, so I am promoting this to GA. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:15, 9 July 2018 (UTC)