Talk:Sound and Vision/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tkbrett (talk · contribs) 01:32, 19 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Staking my claim on reviewing this article. Tkbrett (✉) 01:32, 19 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"It was later chosen by RCA Records as the first single from the album" can be made active as "RCA Records later chose it as the first single from the album"
"the song began as an idea": as opposed to? Make this a little more specific.
"being aided by" -> "aided by"
link BBC
"Critically, "Sound and Vision" has been regarded by music critics and biographers as one of Bowie's greatest songs." -> "Music critics and biographers have regarded "Sound and Vision" as one of Bowie's greatest songs."

Writing and recording

"Sound and Vision" was co-produced by David Bowie and Tony Visconti" -> "David Bowie and Tony Visconti co-produced "Sound and Vision""
pipe Descending fifths sequence
link G major
pipe Melody
"and was described by biographer David Buckley" -> "later described by biographer David Buckley"

Composition

Release

avoid duplicating the word "presented" in the same sentence. Perhaps simply: "When Bowie presented his 11th studio album Low to RCA Records, it shocked the label."
"The label were intimidated by Bowie, who persuaded the label to release" -> "Bowie intimidated the label, persuading them to release"

Images

Good.

Referencing

copyvio gives a 96.2% score due to a Wiki copycat. The next is 25.4%, indicating there are no concerns for this page.
Checking against sources where able, the page is properly sourced.

Final comments and verdict

On hold: I think this was the first Bowie song I heard when I was a teenager, so I'm happy to see it get such a nicely written page. Once the few above concerns are addressed I'll be happy to give it a pass. Tkbrett (✉) 13:08, 20 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Tkbrett All done. Thanks for the kind words and th quick review! Please let me know if the "began as an idea" rewrite doesn't look good. – zmbro _(talk) 18:02, 20 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

pass: Zmbro, yes, I think that reads a lot better. All thanks to you for making this such an easy review. :) Tkbrett (✉) 19:32, 20 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Tkbrett Thanks again! :-) – zmbro _(talk) 21:28, 20 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]