Talk:Sonic the Hedgehog 2/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 19:35, 19 November 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this, expect my comments within a week.

Hey, SNUGGUMS, still interested? Tezero (talk) 16:25, 26 November 2014 (UTC)

Yes, sorry for the delay. I'm drafting the review and will have it up. Don't worry! Snuggums (talk / edits) 17:36, 26 November 2014 (UTC)

Here are my comments.....

Lead

• Only the first release needs to be mentioned in opening paragraph, and no need for region either.

• Only the first needs to be, maybe, but plenty of other game articles, including many FAs, list them all for the original platform(s). I don't see the harm in keeping it, anyhow... Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "Miles 'Tails' Prower" should link to Tails (character)

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Is "much" really needed for "felt that it was much too soon"?

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "Upon release the game was a critical and commercial success"..... I'd move "upon release" to the end of this bit

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Gameplay

• I'd the plot its own subsection. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game (which is GA) is a good example to follow.

• Hah, that one's my work; glad you liked the format. Done. Tezero (talk) 18:07, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "Dying with zero lives gives the player a game over" → "Running out of lives ends in a game over"

• Shorter, yes, but that's not grammatical. "Running out of lives" isn't what ends; the game is. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• The original sentence read awkwardly when I first looked at it, but doesn't look so bad now Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:03, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "in which their opponent will instantly win"..... automatically

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "or the level is ended instantly"..... ends

• Done. Heh, I actually caught that myself before I saw your complaint, so it must've been bad. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "even in recent games"..... including

• Could go either way, IMO, but done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Connection to Sonic & Knuckles

• I don't think "Knuckles the Echidna in Sonic the Hedgehog 2" should be bolded

• Yeah, that's an older tradition for once-split articles that have been merged, which suggests that Knuckles in Sonic 2 used to be its own article. De-bolded. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Development

• "a better salary"..... higher would be a more neutral term

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• See point in lead regarding "much" for "much too soon"

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Add "the" before "Japanese" in "Both Americans and Japanese Sonic Team staff"

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• It's worth mentioning how/why Sega of America decided "Tails" was a better name than "Miles Prower", and that this is the character's real name. I also don't think "hence the nickname" is appropriate tone.

• Reworded. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Is "notorious" a neutral description?

• Yeah, provided we aren't getting angry ourselves. Others are. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "Notable" in "A notable part" isn't really neutral

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• The instances of "Sonic 1" and "Sonic 2" in Yuji Naka's quote should be italicized

• Done, and S&K also needed to be. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Audio

• "Other than the graphics"..... except for

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• The tracklists need to be sourced

• I don't know how you're meant to reference tracklists inside a box, because the norm for VG articles is that the tracks themselves don't need sourcing. I've added two appropriate citations at the end of the paragraph, but the code simply won't allow citations inside the box. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Must've not noticed as many other articles I read have citations, though the soundtrack could be used if it were to be sourced. Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:03, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Legacy

• This section needs more focus on the game as a whole, not just certain aspects of it

• I've elaborated a little on this, the game managed to spawn some comic books, a TV series and of course, a critically acclaimed sequel. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:59, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "The release of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was one of the main reasons that Sega caught up to Nintendo in the 'console wars'"..... reads rather awkwardly

• Rephrased. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• The bit on Akon should probably be in "Audio" rather than here

• Good catch, done. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• "would go on to become one of the most significant and frequently recurring characters"..... prominent would be better than "significant" as it is more neutral and more encyclopedic

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

References

• Per MOS:DATE, use month-day-year or day-month-year format for publish dates/accessdates

• Agreed, I set all days to month-day-year for neutrality. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 16:04, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• FN2 should read The Boston Globe

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Per WP:VG/RS, YouTube (FN20) is not an appropriate reference

• We can't cite YouTube videos willy-nilly, but they're acceptable provided the author is reliable and there's no better source available. It should really be classified as an extreme situational source - I've seen it in FAs, though. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• It's worth raising a discussion on WT:VG/RS Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:03, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• I'm not sure if FN28 (Joystiq) is appropriate to use, as WP:VG/RS lists it under "situational sources" and I haven't found evidence that author Danny Cowan is reliable

• IME, what that means is that the site sometimes allows user-contributed pieces, but this guy works for Joystiq. At least, I don't know how else one would prove reliability of an individual author. Tezero (talk) 18:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Seems fair, I'll accept it here Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:54, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• FN52 should read simply "PlayStation Blog"

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• FN58 (Gamespot) and FN59 (Official Nintendo Magazine) are dead

• Fixed. Tezero (talk) 18:20, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• In FN72, the title should only read "Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Gets the Remastering Treatment, With the Long-Lost Hidden Palace Level Restored", and "Steel Media Ventures" should read "148Apps"

• Done. Tezero (talk) 05:34, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

Overall

• Well-written?: Decent, though could be improved
• Verifiable?: Aside from tracklists, there are two subpar sources as well as two dead links
• Broad in coverage?: Mostly good
• Neutral?: Almost
• Stable?: All good
• Illustrated, if possible, by images?: All images are relevant and have sufficient FUR's, though the captions for screenshots could use more description. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game is a good example to follow.
• Pass or Fail?: Needs some touching up, but the concerns aren't extensive. I'll place this on hold for seven days. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:11, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Jaguar, Tezero, you've both done well. Only need to address dead links—there's now three with FN83 (FCC)—as well as a couple mislabeled refs, and most prose issues are fixed. Deadline is December 4th. Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:03, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Hmm, the FCC one isn't dead for me. Try loading it again? Tezero (talk) 18:20, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Checklinks said it was dead, but it works for me too. Interesting. Also, please remember the screenshot captions. I'll pass as soon as those are elaborated on. Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:54, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• Done. Tezero (talk) 19:47, 27 November 2014 (UTC)

• GA! Snuggums (talk / edits) 21:37, 27 November 2014 (UTC)