Talk:Sonic Colors/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 21:36, 16 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, overall, pretty good, but it needs some work to get up to GA standards.
- The lead should be an intro to all the major parts of an article, without going into unnecessary detail. Consequently, the block of text "In Sonic Colors, Sonic fights Dr. Eggman in his latest scheme, an intergalactic amusement park, in order to save an alien race known as Wisps. Gameplay is akin to the daytime stages of Sonic Unleashed, switching occasionally from third person to side-scrolling. During gameplay, Sonic is able to activate Wisp power-ups to increase his attack powers, as well as reach places he cannot do by himself. Sonic Colors was developed as part of an effort by Sega to rebrand the Sonic franchise by reintroducing basic features and powerup-driven attacks, and delisting several below-average games in the series, while developing the game to appeal both older, hardcore fans and younger players." is not that great. Who is Dr. Eggman? Why should any reader be familiar with Sonic Unleashed's gameplay? How are they "delisting" below-average games? (you've also got a comma splice there.)
  - The lead still needs to mention development.
- Likewise, the body assumes too much familiarity with the subject. Wikilinks supplement knowledge, but you shouldn't force readers to click away to understand the basic gist; add "villain" before Dr. Eggman, for example, and I instantly know his role in the story rather than having to read through and figure it out for myself.
- ~~The last section of plot: "In the DS version..."—is that supplemental to the story or the entire story for the version?~~
- As above, "Sonic Colors sees players playing as Sonic the Hedgehog, using a similar moveset to that featured in Sonic Unleashed, with the addition of a double jump, as he traverses each planet to rescue the Wisps from Dr. Eggman." is a horrible intro to the game. Rework it. You can mention the connection to Sonic Unleashed, but only after you've told me what kind of game it is, who you play as, and what your goals are.
  - it now reads "...with additions such as the double jump", but it's not clear what a double jump is. Is it really important for the understanding of the game?
- "either alone to earn Chaos Emeralds"—and these emeralds are?
- ~~We don't need a blow-by-blow of wisp powers. Give me a prosified list integrated into the above section; if you can't source the wisp power, cut it entirely.~~
- ~~Reading through, I didn't see any mention of he delisting besides the lead (a big no-no); I had to link to another page to find a mention in Sonic and the Black Knight[1]~~
- The reception section gives a lot of numbers but not many good comments. If they're mentioned in the template they're not that necessary for the body. Explain what elements of the game critics liked and disliked, not just generic pulls from the reviews.
- ~~You don't really need the explanation for Colours.~~
- ~~I don't see how File:Sonic Colours.jpg is defensible per WP:NFCC.~~

--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 21:36, 16 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'd also like to note that the gameplay does not adequately explain what the DS version is like. From the text, I have no idea that it's a sidescroller, or anything remotely different from the Wii version besides the relatively minor descriptions of the DS version. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 22:20, 16 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Any progress being made on this by any interested party? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 19:08, 22 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Railer-man seems to be doing some work, though I do not know how much of your list he has managed to fulfill. - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 21:47, 22 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I can't just remove some sentences from the Reception section. I need help on how to reword it. Otherwise, I've managed to change the Wisps list into a paragraph section, and I reworded the other sections a bit. Railer-man (talk) 23:18, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at what you've got today or tomorrow. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 17:42, 30 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I've struck the issues that have been addressed, but there's still the issues of a lack of clarity in the prose and the reception. Take a look at FA article's sections for an idea about how they should be written, e.g., Halo Wars, Giants: Citizen Kabuto. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 20:59, 4 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Can we get a reliable source for sales figures, like Gamasutra? « ₣M₣ » 07:53, 6 February 2011 (UTC)
- Talk about timing :P Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 16:59, 6 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Any updates? Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:27, 20 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I've noticed how long this review has been on hold, so let me see what I can do. Swarm ^X 03:18, 24 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, I've started working on the remaining issues. I think I've addressed the first one by rewriting much of the lead to reflect an outside perspective. I'll try to work on body issues next. Swarm ^X 03:40, 24 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Reworded the plot section. I don't know what to do with the DS bit. I'll try to review the rest of the body later, and rewrite as needed. It's pretty late here, so I can't do more right now, but I'll try to help in resolving all the points. Let me know if any of what I've done so far has actually helped. Swarm ^X 03:57, 24 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks for the assist, Swarm. The edits so far are good. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 14:50, 24 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  - I'll get to the reception section next, and I can't do anything about the "chaos emeralds" (no idea). Other than that, what still needs to be fixed? Swarm ^X 06:50, 25 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    - I've updated my comments. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 21:11, 26 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
      - Would it be adequate to link to the Wiktionary definition of "double jump"? - The New Age Retro Hippie used Ruler! Now, he can figure out the length of things easily. 11:06, 28 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
        I don't think so, as you shouldn't force someone to link away from a page to get the basic gist, and it still doesn't explain why it's worth mentioning with such prominence. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 17:17, 1 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, I was under the impression that the addition of the double jump wasn't terribly necessary in understanding the gameplay or development. How significant is it? Swarm ^X 12:54, 3 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, fixing the reception section is a daunting task that I've admittedly been putting off, but I've decided that refactoring it in my userspace will be the easiest option. Bear with me for a little longer. Swarm ^X 16:57, 6 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
- No problem. As long as progress is being made I'm satisfied. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:20, 6 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  - What's the progress on fixing that section? We're near the two month mark on this review, so hopefully further issues can be quickly wrapped up. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 16:40, 13 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    - I expect the entire article will be done within the next few days. I picked up the work very late into this review, I think I'm the only one working on it and it's taking me awhile because, frankly, I couldn't care less about this game, and I'm sick of reading about the freaking Wisps. Still, I'm working on it, it's not abandoned, and I hope to see the article passed soon. Patience, dear boy, patience. Swarm ^X 20:10, 16 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Given Swarm's apparent break, I'm going to fail this now. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 00:59, 19 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.