Talk:Somnath Sharma/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 07:11, 1 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I will take this one, comments to follow over the next few days. Zawed (talk) 07:11, 1 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Many thanks. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 11:47, 1 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments:

Overall, this article could do with more copyediting using the articles that have already been through the GA process as a guide, as there are quite a few prose issues that need attention. Many of those issues were in the original Singh/Rama articles before they went to GAR.
Other comments:

the information about his siblings perhaps could be presented as note form (and ranks recited in full). In the main body, you could just state that several of his siblings served in the military.

His brother is mentioned twice, the first in the early life section but also in the military career section. This second section strikes me as being trivia and perhaps does not need to be present.
The information about his uncle is too laudatory.
The date of the award needs to be revised (I think we had this discussion on the Rama article).

Once the copy editing has been completed, I will have a look at the text in closer detail. Zawed (talk) 08:49, 12 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Please have a look. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 04:49, 18 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Any update on this. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 14:48, 8 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: Sorry for the delay here, I've been a bit caught up with life off-wiki, moving house and struggling to get the internet connection sorted. I hope to get to this shortly. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 09:08, 14 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: No worries, take your time. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 02:36, 16 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: apologies for taking so long to get to this, but I've now done some minor copyediting of the article (please review my changes to make sure I haven't made any inappropriate changes. Other comments:

The lead refers to Pakistani infiltrators but the body of the article refers to local raiders. This is inconsistent.
Was his father a major general at the time of Sharma's birth? If not, then recite his rank at the time and then move the rest of the information (rank and position at time of retirement to a note.
Is his grandfather notable? Probably no need to mention him by name.
translation for lashkar?
Image tags seem fine.
No dab links
One dupe link: Bhagavad Gita

Cheers. Zawed (talk) 10:02, 19 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Thanks for edits. All done. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 04:36, 27 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, passing as GA. Apologies for the length of time this one has taken. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 09:46, 27 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]