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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Sollipulli/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 19:12, 7 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]


I will try to review this within the next day or so. ceranthor 19:12, 7 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "Sollipulli is an ice-filled volcanic caldera and associated volcanic complex," - don't think you need "associated"
  • "which lies about south of the small town of Melipeuco" - how does it lie "about" south?
  • "It is part of the Southern Volcanic Zone of the Andes, one of the four volcanic belts in the Andes chain." - should probably clarify what the "Andes chain" refers to for the lay reader
  • "Here Sollipulli is among the 118 volcanoes which have been active in recent history." - don't need the "here"; I also think this should be moved to the last paragraph of the lead
  • "Sollipulli has been active in the Pleistocene and Holocene." - I'd just add "epochs" at the end
  • "Sollipulli has developed on a basement formed by Mesozoic and Cenozoic geological formations and is part of an older volcanic chain called the Nevados de Sollipulli." - not sure you need the last bit, and I'd incorporate this sentence into the second paragraph
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:26, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Geomorphology and geography
  • "The Sollipulli edifice sensu stricto" - not familiar with this term; is it possible to rewrite this sentence without the idiom? Also FWIW this redirects to another page
  • "Comune" links to Italian villages; is that your intention?
  • "and 20 kilometres (12 mi) northwest lies the town Melipeuco.[5]" - better to start with "Melipeuco lies ..."
  • "Sollipulli is part of the Southern Volcanic Zone of the Andes,[6] one of the four belts of volcanoes which are found in the Andes." - instead of repeating "Andes", I'd rephrase as "in the mountain range"
  • "These volcanic zones are separated by gaps where there is no volcanic activity and the subduction of the Pacific Ocean crust is shallower than at the volcanic zones" - lots of repetition of "zone"; it gets a bit distracting
  • "About 60 volcanoes have erupted in historical time in the Andes, and 118 further edifices have had eruptions in the Holocene.[7]" - the way this is phrased makes it sound like 118 other edifices have erupted, but it's not totally clear from the sentence. Could you tweak to make your exact meaning here clearer?
  • "About 60 volcanoes exist in the Southern Volcanic Zone" - weird phrasing; better as "There are 60 volcanoes in the ..."
  • "About 60 volcanoes exist in the Southern Volcanic Zone, among these" - this should be a semicolon, not a comma
  • "Sollipulli is a stratovolcano,[3] which has one 4 kilometres (2.5 mi) wide caldera " - this should have the parameter |adj=on added to the convert template
  • "The crater is draped by pyroclastic flow deposits and its rim reaches a height of 200 metres (660 ft).[8]" - needs a comma before "and its rim"
  • "The caldera most likely was not formed by a large explosive eruption, given the absence of any deposits that might relate to such an eruption.[10]" - the second half of the sentence needs to be rephrased
  • "The volcano is constructed by lava flows, lava domes, scoria, pillow lavas as well as pumice falls, pyroclastics and other material.[11] " - avoid constructed, something I do often myself, but it implies agency... "formed by" is better
  • "The edifice has a volume of about 85 cubic kilometres (20 cu mi) and covers a surface area of about 250 square kilometres (97 sq mi), and radial valleys extend away from the top.[3] " - the last bit "and radial valleys..." makes this a run-on
  • "This chain is one of several east-northeast " - thinks this needs an ENDASH between east and northeast
  • "The glacier within the caldera of Sollipulli is shrinking,[19] its surface area decreased between 1961 and 2011 and the Alpehuén outlet glacier retreated by 1.3 kilometres (0.81 mi).[20] " - also a run-on; needs either a semicolon after "shrinking" or to be separated into two sentences
Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:26, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Geology
  • "Subduction has been ongoing on the western side of South America since 185 million years ago and has resulted in the formation of the Andes and volcanic activity" - and "volcanic activity within the range"? clarify
  • " the Farallon Plate broke up and the pace of subduction increased, resulting in increased volcanic activity and at least temporarily tectonic spreading in the Southern Andes.[7]" - you should probably add a little more detail about temporarily causing spreading
  • "Sollipulli volcano developed on a 600–1,600 metres (2,000–5,200 ft) high basement " - need the |adj=on parameter here too
  • "sometimes one type of rock is found as inclusion in another.[11]" - should probably briefly clarify what a geological inclusion is here
  • "A route starting south of Melipeuco leads up on the volcano" - wasn't Melipeuco already linked?
I think I got these. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:26, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Vegetation
  • Looks fine. Is there any more ecology information relevant to the article?
Added a little bit more. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:26, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Eruption history
  • "The Alpehué unit was emplaced during a large Plinian eruption, which generated a 44 kilometres (27 mi) high" - need the |adj=on parameter
  • "Pyroclastic flows from the eruption melted the caldera ice sheet, forming lahars that propagated northwest away from Sollipulli.[23]" - should clarify what lahars are in parentheses here (see Armero tragedy for what I've done in the past if you need inspiration)
  • "The eruption reached a level of 5 on the volcanic explosivity index.[1]" - briefly explain what that means on the index
  • "The eruption occurred relatively recently, indicating that Sollipulli is a still active volcano.[3]" - "is still active"; cut the extra words out
  • Can probably combine this with hazards section
  • "A repeat of the Alpehué eruption would be a regional catastrophe, comparable to the 1991 eruption of Cerro Hudson volcano.[31]" - a "catastrophe" seems dramatic and charged; is that a direct quote?
Not exactly, the term used by the source is "unmeasurable disaster". I think I got the other things. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:26, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • Sources seem fine.
  • Will do spotchecks later and update.
  • Should try to get rid of all caps for ref 25's title for consistency.
  • Anything about human history of the volcano/immediate surroundings?
Got that one, uncertain about the last point since the article is principally about the volcano and other than obsidian mining and pasture there isn't much human history. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 09:40, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Good work. Fair amount of prose work to be done, but minor changes for the most part. ceranthor 00:11, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Passing this now. ceranthor 13:47, 8 June 2018 (UTC)[reply]