Talk:Soho/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eric Corbett (talk · contribs) 17:00, 6 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.

Detailed comments

Lead

"The area was first developed from farmland in 1536 ..." When was it second developed?

Fixed Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 21:16, 6 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"The upper class had mostly moved away by the mid-19th century ..." No indication that they'd ever moved in.

I've name dropped a few late-17th century aristocrats in to emphasise this. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 21:15, 6 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I have an uneasy feeling that the lead is a little too short for an article of this length.

Was just thinking the same - have another look. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 21:15, 6 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Much better! Eric Corbett 23:23, 6 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Gentrification

"It was originally called King Square in honour of Charles II, and a statue of him was based in the centre, including." Is there something missing from the end of that sentence, or is the "including" just an accident?

Ah that's probably my "back to front" copyediting - rather than working from an article top-to-bottom, I work on whichever bits are easiest first. Also, there are too many "including"s in the article so I've knocked out a couple. I blame trying to multi-task, which blokes are crap at. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:19, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Decline

"A serious outbreak of cholera in 1854 around Soho caused the remaining upper-class families to leave the area." A serious outbreak of cholera sticks out like a sore thumb, given that the epidemic was dealt with in the immediately preceding chapter.

Yes, that shouldn't be there, we've already talked about the incident enough in the preceding section, so I've trimmed that down. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:45, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Recent history

"The Soho Housing Association was established during this time ..." It's unclear when "this time" actually was.

The source (The London Encyclopedia) didn't say, but I found another one that says it was 1976. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:49, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Theatre and film

"in 2005, Elton John staged a joint bachelor party there with his longtime partner David Furnish in anticipation of their civil partnership, in recognition of the improved status of same-sex couples." I'm unclear what "in anticipation ... in recognition" means. Which was it?

I've cut the second part of the sentence - the recognition of gay rights was more about the Civil Partnership Act 2004 rather than Soho itself. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:52, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Soho's key fibre communications network has managed by Sohonet since 1995 ..." Presumably there's a word missing here?

Yup. Fixed Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:53, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"... 23 per cent of the workforce in Soho works in the creative industries, making it one of the most creative parts of London." I don't think that follows at all.

I think we can lose the second part of that sentence, it's quite long as it is and simply stating the facts as stated should suffice. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:53, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Restaurants and clubs

"... and was popular with the Albert, Prince of Wales (where he is alleged to have dined with his mistress, Lillie Langtry) and Oscar Wilde. Lots wrong with this.

I've split this into two sentences, and reworded it - however I've yet to see a source that says "Bertie" actually did dine publicly with Lillie Langrty, only that it was hearsay and rumour; to have the future monarch having a public affair at the height of Victorian Britain would have been utterly shocking. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 20:06, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"It closed in January 2016 pending redevelopment." is it still closed? Sometimes these transient events aren't worth bothering with.

The source in question gave the impression that the close was the last one and it was never reopening; however, I've just discovered it's reopening today, so I've removed the last bit. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 20:12, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Religion

"John Betjeman campaigned to restore the church, which was completed in 1990." That reads as if the church was completed in 1990, not the restoration.

A more substantial issue is that the source given does not say that (nor explains how Betjeman was involved with a restoration project six years after he died). I've got another source and reworded all this. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 20:30, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Music

"generally regarded as the first venue where modern jazz, or bebop, was performed in the UK until it was closed in 1950 following a drugs raid." It didn't stop being the UK's first venue when it closed.

Split the sentences Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 20:31, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

""... a Sunday afternoon club organised by the beat poets Pete Brown ..." Pete Brown is only one poet

Fixed Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 20:31, 8 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Streets

"... and named after Karnaby House, which was built in 1683 lay on the street's eastern side." Should that be "and lay"?

Split sentence and reworded. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 12:29, 9 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The information about the Windmill Theatre has already been covered in the Theatre and film section.

Removed as redundant - It was in the article as I found it and since both parts were either unsourced or not particularly well sourced, I wasn't sure which was going to be developed the most at the time. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 12:29, 9 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Eric Corbett: Any other issues? Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 12:29, 9 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

No more nitpicking from me, I think we're done here now. Eric Corbett 13:24, 9 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, insightful comments and good copyediting as always - also good to see you getting back into regular GA reviews. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 13:38, 9 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.