Talk:Social sharing of emotions/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 20:28, 28 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article over the next day or two since it's taken so long to get one. Wizardman 20:28, 28 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

"At the onset of these empirical studies, Rimé et al. coined the term" A full name would be preferred here, or all the names. Don't like seeing et al in encyclopedic articles (interrupts the flow and doesn't really help the reader), though it's fine in the references.
Don't space out references ([9] · [10]) - keep them combined ([9][10])
"In 1954 Leon Festinger, a well known social psychologist," since we have a wikilink, the description is not needed.
Remove uses of "for example"
"These studies aimed to answer questions concerning when it occurs, with whom, how long after the emotional event, if there are age, gender or cultural differences, how often it occurs for a given emotional event, etc." This drags on a bit and could be fine-tuned, plus I don't like the use of etc. there.
"The findings of these studies supported those of the retrospective studies: 96–100% of emotional events were socially shared. Furthermore, no significant difference was found in the frequency of social sharing between different types of emotional events." Should be cited
There are other minor issues like the above throughout the article. Given the below issue in particular, I've only covered part of the article above.

My main issue is that the article feels really textbooklike, not unless turning in a university report. It's understandable, but by having it in this light it doesn't have an encyclopedic feel. More importantly, that textbook feel make it difficult to follow in more than one spot. As a result, the prose needs a fine-tuning my someone unfamiliar with the article to make it a bit more accessible. Unfortunately, that means I have to fail this as a good article nomination, since there is too much to work on moving forward. Wizardman 01:45, 29 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]