Talk:Social immunity
Social Immunity was nominated for deletion. The discussion was closed on 18 February 2018 with a consensus to merge. Its contents were merged into Social immunity. The original page is now a redirect to this page. For the contribution history and old versions of the redirected article, please see its history; for its talk page, see here. |
Social immunity was nominated as a Natural sciences good article, but it did not meet the good article criteria at the time (December 2, 2016). There are suggestions on the review page for improving the article. If you can improve it, please do; it may then be renominated. |
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Todo
[edit]"Antimicrobial defences increase with sociality in bees" - "We found that increases in group size and genetic relatedness were strongly correlated with increasing antimicrobial strength. The antimicrobials of even the most primitive semi-social species were an order of magnitude stronger that those of solitary species, suggesting a point of no return, beyond which disease control was
essential. Our results suggest that selection by microbial pathogens was critical to thre evolution of sociality and requi.red the production of strong, front-line antimicrobial defences."
"("Unifying external and internal immune defences." looks like a good source.)"
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Social immunity/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Dunkleosteus77 (talk · contribs) 03:23, 27 August 2016 (UTC)
Comments by Dunkleosteus77
[edit]Grammar
[edit]- change "antiparasite" and "anti-parasite" to "antiparasitic" or "anti-parasitic" (if it's used as an adjective which it often is)
- "Antiparasite" is used, to my understanding, commonly in the literature - why the change? Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:31, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- "using examples from eusocial insects and primates" the way this is worded makes it seem like there are eusocial primates (there are none to my knowledge). I recommend switching "eusocial insects" and "primates"
- Good idea, Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:31, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- wikilink "burying beetles", "prophylactic", and "napthalene" on first mention in the Mechanisms section
- Good catch, Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:31, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...who travel on larger workers leaves" to "...who travel on larger workers' leaves" or "...who travel on the leaves of larger workers". Also that needs a ref
- Apostrophe and ref added Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:31, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "spread to many more insect group member" to "spread to many more insect group members" or "spread to many more members of the group"
- Good catch, Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:31, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- "...secondary consequences of eusociality are: perhaps the large..." was that colon a typo?
- Changed to a full stop Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...secondary consequences of eusociality are: perhaps the large number of individuals in eusocial colonies increases the efficiency of collective anti-parasite defences and thus their emergence begins to be selected for; perhaps the preponderance of non-reproductive individuals, individuals who when in a colony attacked by a parasite can only increase their indirect fitness via social immunity directed at the queen's brood, is a necessary driver for the evolution of these behaviours" ---> "...secondary consequences of eusociality are perhaps: the large number of individuals in eusocial colonies which increases the efficiency of collective anti-parasite defences and thus their emergence begins to be selected for (for what?); or the preponderance of non-reproductive individuals, who, when in a colony attacked by a parasite, can only increase their indirect fitness via social immunity directed at the queen's brood, is (what is?) a necessary driver for the evolution of these behaviours"
- I don't know what you mean by 'for what', the trait is selected by natural selection for it increases the fitness of individuals but to say something is 'selected for' is a common saying. The 'is' is the preponderance of non-reproductive individuals. I've tried to rejig this bit to make it clearer - have a look and see what you think. Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...mount a collective defence guard the nest..." to "...mount a collective defence (which/who) guards the nest..." or
"...mount a collective defence (which/who) will guard the nest..."
- "mount a collective defence" wasn't supposed to be there. Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...attacks lasted up too..." to "...attacks lasted up to..."
- change "...help combat this, in at least 7 species of Atta small workers (minims) hitchhike on the leaves..." to "...help combat this, in at least seven species of Atta, small workers (minims) hitchhike on the leaves..." or "...help combat this, small workers (minims) in at least seven species of Atta hitchhike on the leaves..."
- Used the latter. Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- "...possible additional functions of hitchinking..."
- sp fixed Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- "have been proposed, some pertinent to social immunity: evidence exists that" replace the colon with either a semi-colon or a period
- Semicolon used Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...avoids entompathogenic fungi Metarhizium anisopliae and Beauveria bassian and..." to "...avoids entompathogenic fungi, such as Metarhizium anisopliae and Beauveria bassian, and..." or "...avoids entompathogenic fungi, Metarhizium anisopliae and Beauveria bassian, and..."
- I've added a 'the'. Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "individuals can inhibit parasite uptake" to "individuals can inhibit parasitic uptake". The adjective form of the word "parasite" is "parasitic"
- I'm using it as a noun (as does Cremer,Meunier and others). Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- what is "R. tibalis"? You mention it only here (without the common name, a wikilink, or the genus name)
- It is mentioned in the bullet point above, I can give the full name if you think this would be clearer. Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...in presocial species e.g. the..." to "...in presocial species, e.g., the..."
- "infected by entomoparasiteic fungi"
- you seem to have some confusion between using dashes and hyphens. Hyphens (-) are used to join two different words, whereas dashes (—) are used to connect two different thoughts. For example, the passages "...are maintained due to social interactions - the increase in direct fitness..." and "...degraded ones to breed on - though this may have..." use hyphens incorrectly to join two different thoughts, and it should be replaced with a dash
- That's true, I hadn't paid any attention to that distinction - I'll try and fix this later in the week. Acather96 (click here to contact me) 07:51, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- use template {{convert}} for "...up to 7g of resin..."
- What should the other unit be here? Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...been concentrated on honeybee" to "...been concentrated on the honeybee" or "...been concentrated on honeybees"
- Tweaked. Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- wikilink faeces to the first mention of excrement as opposed to the first mention of feces
- change "Some non-eusocial insects also have sanitize their nests" to "Some non-eusocial insects also have to sanitize their nests" or "Some non-eusocial insects also sanitize their nests"
- 'have' removed Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...and removes them out of the chamber - ..." to "...and removes them from the chamber—..." or "...and moves them out of the chamber—..."
- Switched to the correct dash. Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- you wikilink N. vespilloides twice
- One wl removed Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...closer to the periphery e.g. foraging" to "...closer to the periphery, e.g., foraging"
- change "...privileges young individuals - when colonies are afflicted..." to "...privileges young individuals—when colonies are afflicted..."
- Spaces removed Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- when you say "infectious period" do you mean "incubation period"?
- No, the terms are not technically equivalent. Also, this is the term that is most commonly used in epidemiological models (e.g. SIR). Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- replace "within-group" with "intra-group"
- instead of saying "1-50hrs", say "one to 50 hours"
- change "...workers are 'hygiene specalists' - they detect..." to "...workers are 'hygiene specalists'—they detect..."
- change "...diseased/dead brood..." to "...diseased or dead brood..." or "...diseased and dead brood..."
- "...parasite prevalence and parasite species richness than homogenous colonies" this is a fragment, granted there is text behind it but it still doesn't make sense with it
- Rephrased, but this may still be a bit clunky. Acather96 (click here to contact me) 08:36, 6 September 2016 (UTC)
- change "...partners a queen has[2] - it is thought these..." to "...partners a queen has—[2]it is thought these..."
- remove "a possibility that is discussed below"
- change "...negated due to concomitant costs (e.g. the increased...)" to "...negated due to concomitant costs, e.g., the increased..." and remember to remove the parenthesis at the end of the sentence
- change "...elevate their temperature collectively - this defence is..." to "...elevate their temperature collectively—this defence is..."
- change "...temperature preventatively - it is currently..." to "...temperature preventatively—it is currently..."
- change "...exists in presocial insects - the European earwig..." to "...exists in presocial insects—the European earwig for example..."
- change "...not seen in adults)[58] - but overall the..." to "...not seen in adults)—[58]but overall the..."
- change "...not been effective - infected individuals..." to "...not been effective—infected individuals..."
- change "Allogrooming is found in many animals - for example..." to "Allogrooming is found in many animals—for example..."
- "Corsican blue tits (Parus caeruleus) prophylacticlly line their..."
- "...numerous examples of social immune behaviours within the family can be given" what family?
- change "...all other individuals - including those..." to "...all other individuals—including those..."
- "Nicrophorus vespilloides" is wikilinked a second time in the Study species section
- "burying beetle" is wikilinked a second time in the Nicrophorus vespilloides section
- change "...its larvae to breed on - these carcasses..." to "...its larvae to breed on—these carcasses..."
- change "Carcass are highly contested resources..." to "Carcasses are highly contested resources..." or "A carcass is a highly contested resource..."
- change "...worse nutritional state - at adulthood these beetles..." to "...worse nutritional state—at adulthood these beetles..."
- change "...social immune response - by providing females..." to "...social immune response—by providing females..."
- change "...in social immunity i.e. upon injury..." to "...in social immunity, i.e., upon injury..."
- change "...1409..." to "...1,409..." and "...5967th..." to "...5,967th..."
- change "Social immunity effort peaks during middle-age, in contrast to effort in personal immunity..." to "Social immunity efforts peak during middle-age, in contrast to efforts in personal immunity..."
- change "...as the larvae age - removing parents results..." to "...as the larvae age. Removing parents results..."
References
[edit]- ref no. 1 has a free version at http://rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/370/1669/20140102 Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- You reference Cremer's work a lot but could you also give the title? {[done}} Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- When you reference other studies (like Wilson-Rich 2009), could you also give the study as maybe a ref or some other sort of footnote? Done as ref Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- In the In insects section, "...it must complete three key tasks:..." needs a ref, and this section needs more than the one ref it currently has
- in ref no. 8 (Griffiths and Hughes), "Atta colombica" needs to be italicized DoneAcather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- in ref no. 10 (Epsky and Capinera), "Steinernema feltiae" needs to be italicized Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- in ref no. 13 (Kramm and West), "Metarhizium anisopliae" needs to be italicized Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- Remove the refs from the lead Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- Remove the url in refs 15, 17, 19, 20, 21, 24, 27, 28, 29, 31, 32, 33, 34, 38, 39 (also it has a PMID of 14676952), 40, 41, 42, 45, 46, 47, 48, 52, 55, and 56 as they lead to only an abstract as opposed to the entire article Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- for refs 21, 26, 28, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, 42, 45, 46, 50, 51, 60, and 67 the scientific name needs to be italicized and the species name needs to be lowercase Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- for ref no. 22, replace the current url with http://www.pnas.org/content/106/20/8251.full Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- for ref no. 23, replace the current url with http://www.ijbs.com/v09p0313.pdf Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- for ref no. 25, replace the current url with http://dx.doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0034484 Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- removed the access date for ref no. 35, also it has an ISSN of 0030-0950, and replace the current url with http://stri.si.edu/sites/publications/PDFs/West_Ohio_J_Science_1963_STRI.pdf Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- ref no. 37 has an ISSN of 19385102 and a JSTOR of 3496014 Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- in ref no. 49, you put "null" instead of the authors' first names Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- remove the access date in ref no. 50 Done Acather96 (click here to contact me) 15:58, 13 September 2016 (UTC)
- the two sentences in the Study species section needs refs
@Dunkleosteus77: Thank you for your comprehensive review - would it be OK for me to fix these issues on Monday? Sorry for the late response. Acather96 (click here to contact me) 19:16, 2 September 2016 (UTC)
- Okay User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:29, 3 September 2016 (UTC)
- I've been holding this off for, like, 3 months now but I have to fail this article. It's mainly grammatical errors from what I can see. User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 04:32, 2 December 2016 (UTC)
Query
[edit]Acather96, Dunkleosteus77, where does this nomination currently stand? It's been a month and a half since this page was last edited, and nearly as long since the article was. Can we get this moving again? Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 01:32, 31 October 2016 (UTC)
- @Acather96: Let's get this moving again. Right now it's just a lot of grammatical problems User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 20:22, 5 November 2016 (UTC)
The redirect More research is required in social immunity has been listed at redirects for discussion to determine whether its use and function meets the redirect guidelines. Readers of this page are welcome to comment on this redirect at Wikipedia:Redirects for discussion/Log/2023 June 13 § More research is required in social immunity until a consensus is reached. Fram (talk) 14:12, 13 June 2023 (UTC)
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