Talk:Smooth toadfish/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: J Milburn (talk · contribs) 20:21, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to offer a review. Josh Milburn (talk) 20:21, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'd be inclined to say that the lead is too short for an article of this length.

buffed lead a little - can you as a reader identify what other factoids you might want in the lead...? Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:49, 10 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The species name glaber is" I've fixed this, but you didn't mean species name, you meant specific name.

yep/thanks Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:00, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

You should probably use non-breaking spaces when abbreviating species names

added Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:16, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

What is a "diagnosing description"? That comes across as undefined jargon.

Tried clarifying it thus. Is that better? Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 01:12, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"He noted its lack of spines compared with other specimens of Tetrodon hamiltonii, and hence was a distinct and separate species" This doesn't work- he wasn't "a distinct and separate species". How about "He noted its lack of spines compared with other specimens of Tetrodon hamiltonii, and hence argued that it was a distinct and separate species"

tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:16, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Tetrodon links to an orchid genus

whoops, it is now spelt Tetraodon. Fixed link now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:00, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Along with related toadfish species, the smooth toadfish is known in Australia as a "toadie"." I don't have much trouble believing it, but... Reference?

whoops, added Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 10:30, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The description section is a bit of a block of text. I appreciate that two paragraphs may not be appropriate, but some wikilinks would be good- especially for the fish jargon (fin types, "adnate", "medial walls", "pharyngobranchial" [!!!], "vent", "otoliths", "gonads")

I think it splits ok at one point. You can recombine if it doesn't work for you. Have linked some - and explained others (eg medial wall), other targets don't match (e.g. Papilla (fish anatomy)) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 10:40, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't realise until the casual mention of the fish being "fully inflated" that this was a puffer fish- perhaps due to the fact that the family name didn't mean anything to me. This could be made clearer!

pufferfish added, along with some brief notes on inflating. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 10:40, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Any indication of how long they normally live/what age sexual maturity is? The information on life cycles seems a little lacking, but you do have a sourced mention that it's understudied, so that's something.

yes, this lack of info was a major problem Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:16, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Any chance of a distribution map?
What is meant in context by "prawns"? I thought that wasn't a word Aussies use? Our article is pretty ambiguous

interchangeable with shrimp in this context, so changed. Aussies would understand 'shrimp' just as easily. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:15, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Occasional items recorded from stomach contents include green algae and jellyfish. It often follows the tide into estuaries in search of food." Source?

Damn it - can't find this anywhere - removing occ. prey items, also venturing into freshwater covered elsewhere so no great loss of either sentence. Second one was added with web FAQ page as source Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:48, 9 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Notorious for stealing bait" I'm not keen on this; it's not clear what kind of bait you're talking about or to what extent fish can "steal" things. How about "Notorious for taking bait from fishing hooks" or something

tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:16, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"fishermen" is gendered. Anglers?

aah good point. Fixed now Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:00, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"An inquest took place" Into what?

the deaths/added Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:43, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Hobart town..The poison" How about "town ... The"?

tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:43, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The symptoms are predominantly neurological, and include numbness and/or paraesthesia (tingling) around the mouth and lips, and limb extremities and ataxia." This unclear; how about "The symptoms, which are predominantly neurological, include ataxia, in addition to numbness and/or paraesthesia (tingling) around the mouth, lips, and limb extremities."

tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:51, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Even leaving the fish where pets can eat it can be hazardous" Too how-to. "It can also be toxic to pets" or "Cases of pets being poisoned when..." would be better.

tweaked Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:51, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Why not make the footnotes full sentences? I'm unclear on what footnote "B" means.

put into body now - B translated - hopefully enough context added Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:42, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The sources are all fine- I won't quibble about formatting, but columns would be nice. The images are fine, but I certainly wouldn't object to more- perhaps one of the common toadfish so we can compare the two. I intend to have another look through the taxonomy section and description section. Please double-check my copyedits (which have been moderately substantial)- I've been more critical than is necessary for a GA review, but I know this is something you won't mind! Josh Milburn (talk) 21:13, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Just a drive-by comment, there are a couple of images on Flickr that could maybe be useful:[1] Always a good place to look if an article lacks image and Commons isn't helping. Also, seems the Flickr source of the infobox image isn't properly formatted... FunkMonk (talk) 22:35, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks all - this my first attempt at a fish article...and also the first fish I ever caught. Some of the source material has been hard to find or make sense of, but getting there. @J Milburn: your copyedits look fine BTW. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:00, 7 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@FunkMonk:, one I uploaded - the other two am not sure whether they aren't common toadfish actually. The link for the taxobox image works ok for me back to flickr...Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 04:10, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, the link works, it's just floating outside the template... FunkMonk (talk) 07:08, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The distribution map and lack of information on lifecycle are not issues that need to be fixed at this time, in my opinion. The short lead and the remaining unsourced sentence should be dealt with, after which I'll have another look through the trickier sections to see if I missed anything the first time around. Josh Milburn (talk) 16:39, 8 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah I was figuring something like that - I am trawling through sources to figure out where things came from....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:10, 9 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, have removed offending snetences and buffed lead a little - can you as a reader identify what other factoids you might want in the lead...? Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 00:54, 9 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks; the article's looking very strong, but I'd like a last quick look through. If I haven't got to this by the end of the week, please put angry notices on my talk page... Josh Milburn (talk) 16:30, 10 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, being thorough is good. Am in not particular hurry....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 20:51, 10 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I just want to say as the creator of the the stub version of the article (and the photographer of one of the pictures) that I am very excited at the prospect of this article reaching GA. Thank you so much for your work. I know very little about the subject (which is why I haven't been contributing) but I feel an affection for the article, and also for the fish. St Anselm (talk) 21:21, 10 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I have a bad video from my android when we caught one and my kids squawking at it - one swam straight into our bait trap which we'd set up for Pseudomugil signifer. For some reason, NSW has legal fishing with permit for aquariums....which Victoria doesn't....Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 03:17, 11 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'm happy that this is basically ready for GA status. I'm still struggling to follow the French translation thing, and perhaps the description is a little technical, but GAs don't need to be perfect! Great work. Josh Milburn (talk) 17:26, 12 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]