Talk:Smaug/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 21:55, 25 February 2020 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]Lead - Would it also be appropriate to mention in the lead that he figured in the Peter Jackson film?
- Why not. Done.
Infobox - Some of the names included in the infobox are not mentioned/cited in the text or cited in the infobox. "The golden", "The magnificent", "Dragon of Erebor", and "The Worm of Dread" are these names. Dragon of Erebor is a tad obvious, but the others should be cited/removed. Primary source would be acceptable here.
- Removed.
Story - is "Appendix" a proper noun in this case?
- Removed the clutter.
"and accused the Hobbit (correctly) of trying to steal from him." - The rest of this section is in the present tense, and the context suggests this should be present-tense, too.
- Ah. Past tense for the whole section, per the Middle-earth standard.
- I noticed you already worked this the other way, but I was thinking this one sentence should be in present tense. I'm personally a little dubious of the special ME standard, but if you want to keep it in all past tense, that would be acceptable given that's a Wikiproject standard. Don't care so long as it's consistent the entire way. Hog Farm (talk) 22:12, 26 February 2020 (UTC)
- I quite understand your feelings on the matter. Personally I tend to use tense informally and naturally but we'd best follow the rule now.
- I noticed you already worked this the other way, but I was thinking this one sentence should be in present tense. I'm personally a little dubious of the special ME standard, but if you want to keep it in all past tense, that would be acceptable given that's a Wikiproject standard. Don't care so long as it's consistent the entire way. Hog Farm (talk) 22:12, 26 February 2020 (UTC)
- Ah. Past tense for the whole section, per the Middle-earth standard.
Laketown is mentioned with no context. This could probably be easily solved by throwing in a reference to Dale in the description of the destruction of Thror's kingdom, and then making the connection between Dale and Laketown.
- Done.
Illustrations - Is there a better place to put this section? Maybe it's my reading of the article, but the placement feels a little awkward.
- Moved.
Old English spell You reference Day's book, then use the dictionary (cited to the dictionary), and the use and cite Day. There should also be a citation for Day where he is used before the dictionary.
- Done.
The Hobbit 1977 Is there a way to reorder the words in the first sentence so we don't have a five eight word SEAOFBLUE?
- Done.
In popular culture - This looks like it's part of the Forbes Fictional 15, which has an article. Would it be appropriate to mention the series here, at least to beef up the very short section?
- Mentioned, and merged with the 'science' section which is also just 'cultural mentions'.
References - Looks like we might need some accessdates here.
- Added.
- Ref 6 - Is this an RS? It's written in the first person, suggesting it's a personal website.
- The Anglo-Saxon Dictionary is a very well-established book. If you meant ref 16, that's a long-established media company reporting on the news; it seems to have numerous journalists.
- Ref 15 - TV Tropes is listed as a generally unreliable source at WP:RSP
- Removed.
- Ref 17 - What makes Full Sail University Blog a RS?
- Removed.
- Ref 23 gives me a deadlink
- Archive added.
- Ref 29 gives me a deadlink with the statement not entirely in English
- DOI works fine so removed the other URL.
External links Is this external link really necessary, since we include the exact same image in the article already?
- Removed. It's at much better resolution which is probably why it was there.
Earwig turns up a positive, but it's a false positive mirror so nothing to worry about there. Hog Farm (talk) 21:32, 26 February 2020 (UTC)
- Noted.
Hog Farm - I think that's all done now. Chiswick Chap (talk) 23:10, 26 February 2020 (UTC)
- Chiswick Chap Two quick things - There's a cite error (looks like the first or only usage of a ref got removed) and the source I had questions about was the Tolkien Library source (14 I think right now). I must have messed up with the ref number on that one in my first comment. Is the Tolkien Library source reliable? It looks like a personal website to me, but I also have to admit I'm biased against sources who don't capitalize "I". Hog Farm (talk) 02:56, 27 February 2020 (UTC)
- Repaired the ref. The TL source was only being used to identify the edition, which I've now done from Biblio, complete with archive link. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:59, 27 February 2020 (UTC)
- Chiswick Chap - Looks good now, passing for GA. Hog Farm (talk) 19:36, 27 February 2020 (UTC)
- Repaired the ref. The TL source was only being used to identify the edition, which I've now done from Biblio, complete with archive link. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:59, 27 February 2020 (UTC)