Talk:Slow Dancing (Aly & AJ song)/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 05:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
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I will conduct this review today! --K. Peake 05:56, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Pipe Amanda Joy Michalka to AJ Michalka in the infobox
- Pipe Alyson Michalka to Aly Michalka
- The writing/production sentence should be the second of the para instead; follow this by the first four sentences of the second para moved here since they should come before the actual release date
- "Ryan Spraker and Yves Rothman," → "Ryan Spraker, and Yves Rothman,"
- "also producing the track." → "also handling the production."
- Pipe 1960s music to 1960s in music
- In the new order, the comp and lyrics parts should start the second para
- "rock and indie folk ballad" → "rock, and indie folk ballad"
- ""Slow Dancing" was originally envisioned" → "It was originally envisioned"
- "re-wrote it into a" → "re-wrote it as a"
- "updating its lyrics to" → "updating the lyrics to"
- ""Slow Dancing" was originally" → "the song was originally"
- "they found its soft," → "they found the soft,"
- ""Slow Dancing" was positively received by critics" → "The song received positive reviews from critics"
- "isolation and longing as" → "isolation, and longing as"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:24, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
- "A music video directed by Aly's husband Stephen Ringer" → "A music video for the song directed by Stephen Ringer"
- "A Touch of the Beat Tour beginning in" → "A Touch of the Beat Tour, beginning in"
Writing and recording
[edit]- "written by Aly & AJ band members AJ and Aly Michalka, with" → "co-written by Aly & AJ band members AJ and Aly Michalka with"
- "Ryan Spraker and Yves Rothman,[1][2] while Rothman produced" → "Ryan Spraker, and Yves Rothman,[1][2] while Rothman also produced"
- Pipe 1980s music to 1980s in music
- [9] should only be invoked once in the sentence
- "but they did not complete its lyrics" → "but did not complete the lyrics"
- "its subject matter and" → "the subject matter and"
- Done.
- "AJ admits that" → "AJ admitted that"
- "during which they" → "during which the duo"
- "Rothman agreed that they" → "Rothman agreed that Aly & AJ"
- Pipe social distancing to Social distancing measures related to the COVID-19 pandemic
- "where it was impossible for listeners to envision anything" → "where listeners would not envision anything"
- [8] should solely be invoked at the end of the sentence
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:27, 21 July 2022 (UTC)
- "completed for the album." → "completed for A Touch of the Beat Gets You Up on Your Feet Gets You Out and Then Into the Sun."
- "include Sylvain Carton on saxophone;" → "included Sylvain Carton on saxophone;" with the wikilink
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- "cello and organ;" → "cello, and organ;"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- Pipe demo to Demo (music)
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- "of summer evenings spent" → "of summer nights spent"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:18, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
Release
[edit]- This should be the section after music and lyrics
- Remove wikilink on studio album
- fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove commas around Jared Rosenberg
- "AJ argues that TikTok exposure" → "AJ argued that the TikTok exposure"
- "instead claiming they" → "instead asserting the duo"
- "and hoped the song" → "and he hoped the song"
- Aly is a female; updated to "she".--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- "AJ insists they were not" → "AJ insisted they were not"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace Gaudie per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- "The duo credits fans' response" → "The duo credited fans' response"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
- "James McAlister and The She-J" → "James McAlister, and the She-J" per MOS:THEMUSIC
- fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 17:23, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
Music and lyrics
[edit]- Pipe harmonies to Harmony
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink electropop
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove wikilinks on "Attack of Panic" and "Joan of Arc on the Dance Floor"
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "observed that the band's" → "observed that Aly & AJ's"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace The Crimson White per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace CommRadio per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "cello and saxophone." → "cello, and saxophone."
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Introduce Thomas Bleach here
- Introduction added.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace Pipe Dream per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "while other critics have likened" → "Certain critics have likened"
- Fixed.
- Remove or replace The Independent Florida Alligator per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "the chorus admitting" → "the chorus admitting," with the pipe
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "The song's pre-chorus reads" → "The song's pre-chorus is repeated"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove pipe on COVID-19 social distancing
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "with Forty5 Presents dubbing it" → "with the staff of Forty5 Presents dubbing it"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "MELODIC Magazine's Marisa Graham noticed" → "Melodic magazine's Marisa Graham noticed"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 16:53, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
- "The Alternative Press's Augusta Battoclette" → "Alternative Press's Augusta Battoclette" with the pipe
Reception
[edit]- Any thematic order for the reviews here, i.e what they focused on?
- Edited entire section for more concise order.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "said it possesses a" → "said the song possesses a"
- No longer in article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace Pipe Dream per WP:RSSM
- Removed.
- "both AJ and Aly's vocal performances, Maggiore said" → "Aly & AJ's vocal performance, Maggiore said,"
- No longer in article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "music critic Thomas Bleach felt the song perfectly demonstrates the band's" → "Bleach felt the song perfectly demonstrates the duo's"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace The Hoya per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "while Sweety High's Taylor Augustin" → "whereas Sweety High's Taylor Augustin"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace Benedetto per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "said the artists" → "said Aly & AJ"
- No longer in article.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "of its lyrical weight" → "of the lyrical weight"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove pipe on Alternative Press
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "Writing for the Alternative Press, Augusta Battoclette likened" → "Writing for Alternative Press, Battoclette likened"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- Remove or replace The Daily Californian per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "one of the album's three best tracks." → "one of the three best tracks on A Touch of the Beat Gets You Up on Your Feet Gets You Out and Then Into the Sun."
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
- "Ineye Komonibo of Refinery29 included" → "Komonibo of Refinery29 included"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:49, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
Music video
[edit]- "Directed, edited and produced" → "Directed, edited, and produced"
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink Santa Ynez, California
- "The sisters credit" → "The sisters credited"
- "which in turn distinguishes" → "which in turn distinguished"
- Are you sure "as time passes" is useful at the end?
- Not essential. Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:07, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
Live performances
[edit]- Wikilink tambourine
- Wikilink acoustic guitar
- Remove wikilink on TikTok
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
- "New Years Eve celebration." → "New Year's Eve celebration." with the wikilink
- Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
- "the duo performed "Slow Dancing" on" → "they performed "Slow Dancing" on"
- Pipe morning talk show to Breakfast television--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed.
- Remove or replace The Lantern per WP:RSSM
- Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 20:10, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Use
{{spaced ndash}}
so there is the right space between credits and personnel
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks too high at 46.2%; cut down overquoting to fix this
- Make sure all of these are archived by using fix dead links
- Cite Broadcast Music, Inc. as publisher instead on ref 2
- Remove or replace ref 3 per WP:SELFPUB
- Cite Jaxsta as publisher instead on ref 4
- See WP:RSP for why I am in the middle about refs 5 and 57, also fix MOS:QWQ issues with these either way
- Cite Apple Music as publisher instead on refs 6, 31 and 43, also only wikilink on the first instance
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 8, also what makes it and ref 70 a reliable source?
- Cite iHeartRadio as publisher instead on ref 13
- Cite MTV Australia as publisher instead on ref 14 and pipe to MTV (Australian and New Zealand TV channel)
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 15, 29 and 59
- Cite Amazon as publisher instead on ref 17
- WP:OVERLINK of Paper on ref 19
- WP:OVERLINK of Google Translate on ref 20 and pipe GQ Russia to GQ
- What makes ref 21 a reliable source?
- Remove or replace ref 24 per WP:RSSM
- Remove or replace ref 25 per it being a gossip site
- Remove or replace ref 27 per WP:RSSM
- Remove or replace ref 32 per above
- Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 33 and what makes it reliable exactly?
- Remove or replace ref 34 per WP:RSSM
- Cite Refinery29 as publisher instead on ref 35
- WP:OVERLINK of Google Translate on refs 36 and 41, also the last name should be cited followed by first plus middle
- Remove or replace ref 37 WP:RSDISCOGS
- WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 38
- Remove or replace ref 39 since that was founded by a YouTube user and has no staff
- Remove or replace ref 40 per WP:SELFPUB
- Remove or replace ref 42 per WP:RSSM
- Remove or replace ref 44 per WP:RSP
- What exactly makes ref 46 a reliable source?
- Remove or replace ref 47 per WP:RSSM
- Remove or replace ref 53 per above
- Pipe StyleCaster to SHE Media on ref 55
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 56 and cite Idolator as publisher instead
- Cite Audacy as publisher instead on ref 61
- I'm not sure about ref 62 since it seems like a gossip website; what constitutes reliability?
- Cite Young Hollywood as publisher instead on ref 63
- Remove or replace ref 64 per WP:RSSM
- Cite WKNC-FM as publisher instead on ref 65 and fix MOS:QWQ issues
- Remove or replace ref 66 since that has an editorial team of merely two
- Remove or replace ref 68 per WP:SELFPUB since that looks similar to Medium
- Cite WERS as publisher instead on ref 69
- Remove or replace ref 71 per WP:RSSM
- I don't see much an editorial team for ref 72, so what exactly makes it reliable?
- Remove or replace ref 73 per WP:RSSM
- Remove or replace ref 76 per above
- Cite ABC News as publisher instead on ref 77
- Remove or replace ref 79 per WP:RSSM
- WP:OVERLINK of Us Weekly on ref 80
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold for two weeks until all of the issues are fixed; the sources may take a bit of time to replace or remove. --K. Peake 08:17, 22 July 2022 (UTC)
- Hi K. Peake; please be advised that I have decided to withdraw my GA nomination of this article, due to the amount of sources you've deemed unreliable. Unfortunately I am struggling to find the time to replace/correct them within a reasonable timeframe; perhaps I will revisit at a future date. Apologies for wasting your time.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:28, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
- ✗ Fail after your decision, however that is sad since I put a lot of effort into reviewing this. --K. Peake 07:49, 6 August 2022 (UTC)