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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 09:28, 20 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Lead
  • Uí Ímair translates to "Descendants of Ímar" and is properly used without "House of...". The term "Dynasty/House of Ivar" is sometimes used but this is less common so I'll stick with the original. Retroplum (talk) 15:41, 25 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • was probably → was most probably
  • battle → battles
  • as king there, → as king,
  • What is an over-king?
  • raid on → raid in
  • though this did not last long and he soon reverted to paganism. → though he soon reverted to paganism.
  • succeeded as king by → succeeded by
Background
  • Here you say overking, in the lead you hyphenate it?
  • Máel Finnia mac Flannacán → Should mac be capitalised?
  • In modern Irish surnames mac should be capitalised, but here mac is not part of a surname but a patronymic indicator meaning son of, i.e. Máel Finnia son of Flannacán, and so should not be capitalised. Retroplum (talk) 15:41, 25 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • and in 914 a → and in 914 a,
Biography
  • indicating he → indicating that he
  • and won a victory, → and claimed victory, (a victory is a victory, so it's obvious that you win a victory.)
  • King Augaire was killed and the campaign, which had lasted around three weeks, was effectively over. → This needs re-phrasing.
  • changed "This was followed by another victory, this time at Cenn Fuait, against Augaire mac Ailella, overking of Leinster. King Augaire was killed and the campaign, which had lasted around three weeks, was effectively over." to "This was followed by another at the Battle of Confey (also known as the Battle of Cenn Fuait), against Augaire mac Ailella, overking of Leinster, who died in the battle. Augaire's death marked the end of effective opposition to the Vikings' return to Ireland." Retroplum (talk) 15:41, 25 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • there exist coins → there are coins in existence
  • These coins therefore, might → These coins might
Outcome

On hold.  — ₳aron 14:32, 25 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for being so prompt. Passing.  — ₳aron 09:46, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.