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Talk:Sir John Duckworth, 1st Baronet

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the other medal

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Can anyone help with identifying the other medal (obscured by the arm) Duckworth is wearing?--mrg3105 (comms) ♠♥♦♣ 06:49, 14 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Assessment

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Easily meets the B-class criteria. A few suggestions for improving it Mrg.

  • That infobox is huge, and in way too much detail. I would suggest removing most of the "units;" perhaps just notable ones, or long-term ones? It is far too long though.
Each commanded vessel represents a certain stage in Duckworth's elevation in command. In this sense each is important. It may be that other articles on high ranking officers lack this information? However, I'll see what can be done to shorten the infobox
  • Can you separate the notes and references? IE use {{ref label}} and {{note}} (see Manchester United F.C. records and statistics for implementation). This would separate those lumps of text from the citations. It would make it a lot easier to read. Incidentally, can they not be integrated into the text a bit more?
Will have a look, never used before
  • Reference formatting. You have several bare external links, these need publisher info, dates, retrieval dates etc, citation templates help with these.
Will have a look
  • There are some issues with neutrality and writing style; "...a fitting end to a long and distinguished service with the Royal Navy" Not really encyclopedic is it?
Hmmm, is it encyclopaedic that he had a a long and distinguished service, or that dying on the post is not a fitting end. Dying in the command post was always considered a statement of dedication, as in "going down with the ship" was. Duckworth signed his last official Navy document a few hours before passing and while in extreme "discomfort", which I think is as muc a mark of a professional naval officer as going down with the ship
  • I suspect that a number of those red-links have articles, you just need to find their names (and then create redirects).
You may be right, and I will keep looking. I had found some before
  • If you want a more specific review and more in-depth then open up a peer review at Milhist. It is looking good though, good work.
This will do for now. Thank you

Regards. Woody (talk) 22:04, 2 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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