Talk:Sincerity Is Scary/GA2
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:12, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
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Second time reviewing one of your articles during the GAN backlog, as this is the oldest songs nominee that can be reviewed by me! --K. Peake 10:12, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]Target neo jazz to Nu jazzDone"The song was released on" → "It was released on" swapping order with the writing/production sentenceDone, plus the release date needs to be directly mentioned in the body"It was written by" → "The song was written by"DoneRemove wikilink on trumpetDone- "
who provides the" → "who provide the"Done "Musically, "Sincerity Is Scary" is an experimental neo soul, R&B and neo jazz ballad built" → "An experimental neo soul, R&B and neo jazz ballad, "Sincerity Is Scary" is built" with the targetDoneToo much of what is incorporated in the production is listed in the lead; specifically recommend removing gospel choirs per repetitionDoneRemove wikilink on saxophoneDoneWikilink arrangementsDoneTarget lounge to Lounge musicDone"for being cold and" → "for being generally cold and"Done"and causing a breakdown" → "and leading to a breakdown"DoneRemove the remarking part, as that is not notable for the leadDone"was met with generally positive reviews" → "received generally positive reviews"Done"who praised the production," → "who mostly praised the production,"DoneRemove D'Angelo from the compared part, as the sections mentioning the artist are outside of receptionDone"It performed modestly on international music charts, peaking at" → "It peaked at" for more appropriate lead languageDoneUK chart position should come first, as that is their native countryDone"Silver in the United Kingdom, denoting sales of over 200,000 units." → "silver in the United Kingdom by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)." with the wikilinkDone"A music video directed by Warren Fu" → "An accompanying music video, directed by Warren Fu," with the wikilinkDone"and it later appeared" → "while it later appeared"Done
Background and development
[edit]- Quote box looks good!
- Thank you! Giacobbe talk 15:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
"November of the same year and included" → "November of the same year and includes"DoneRemove music annotation website introduction to GeniusDoneRemove wikilink on Beats 1 RadioDone"recognizing his defence mechanisms" → "recognizing certain defence mechanisms of his"Done- Img looks good!
- Thank you! Giacobbe talk 15:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
"with the group providing" → "with them providing" because they are a choir, but to write so here would be too repetitiveDone"Healy lauded them as" → "Healy lauded the choir as"Done"Abbey Road's Studio Three and was engineered by Chris Bolster and assisted" → "Abbey Road's Studio Three, which were engineered by Chris Bolster with assistance" with the targetDoneRemove wikilink on trumpetDone"the band first heard Hargrove play" → "they were highly impressed by Hargrove's playing on" per the source not saying this was the first time they heard himDone"on one of the band's" → "on one of the 1975's" but the first non-band info is not mentioned by the sourceDone"in remembrance of Hargrove." → "in remembrance of Hargrove, who Healy assured "made those songs so special for us"." per the sourceDone
Music and lyrics
[edit]Remove wikilinks on saxophone and trumpet for the audio sample textDoneThe experimental neo soul info is not mentioned by [21]Done
- @Kyle Peake: [21] cites neo-soul, [25] cites experimental. I can switch them if that makes it more clear. Giacobbe talk 16:05, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: Keep [25] where it is due to relevance to the later parts, but [21] does not mention the song as being neo soul on the original or archive. --K. Peake 16:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- How strange, I have no idea why I would put that there. Anyways, I added a different source! Giacobbe talk 17:21, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Target F#♭4 to E (musical note)Done
-
- I am a little confused, as it is an F note but the redirect took me to the E article; probably F actually but I assume you know best. --K. Peake 16:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Remove target on F#♭5DoneWikilink arrangementsDoneThe gospel choir is not mentioned by any of the sources in that sentence; if you are referring to the London Community Gospel Choir, then remove from this area since their involvement is mentioned later in the paraDone
- Was just paraphrasing the "chorus of voices on the song's refrain" in the NPR source, but a more specific source that directly calls it "gospel choirs" has been added! Giacobbe talk 16:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Remove wikilink on saxophoneDone[32][33][25][35] should be put in numerical orderDone"as a songwriter, and" → "as a songwriter and"DoneTarget social media surveillance to Privacy concerns with social networking servicesDone"and communication breakdowns" → "and a communication breakdown" per the sourcingDone"He considered the line" → "He considered the lyrics"Done"noting the later lyric is" → "noting the later phrase is"Done"throughout their second studio album." → "throughout the album."Done
- Source says: "The phrase “What a shame” is one that popped up several times on The 1975’s last album, ‘I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It'", which is the band's sophomore record, this is their third. Giacobbe talk 16:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: My bad; change to mentioning the album by title then. --K. Peake 16:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- No worries! Giacobbe talk 17:23, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Allmusic → AllMusicDone"that the use of layered vocals in the chorus is" → "that the vocals in the chorus are" per the source; no layers are mentionedDoneRemove the release year of "If I Believe You" due to it being listed in the previous sectionDone"shared sonic similarities owing" → "share sonic similarities owing"Done
Reception
[edit]Retitle to Release and reception, adding a sentence about the single release as the first sentence with a sourceDone- Img looks good!
Remove the part about criticism, as that is not notable when all you have here for what was specifically praised is Hargrove (via an image)Done"deemed "Sincerity Is Scary" a" → "deemed the song a" to avoid repeating the title too muchDone- Shouldn't the critical info be organised by thematic element, i.e the content that reviewers most praised coming first?
- @Kyle Peake: Organized as release/accolades (pp. 1), content regarding music (pp. 2), content regarding lyrics/themes (pp. 3), and mixed/negative and commercial aspects (pp 4). Giacobbe talk 17:33, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: This looks a lot better, great job! --K. Peake 17:44, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Thank you! Giacobbe talk 18:35, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
"contribution to "Sincerity Is Scary"." → "contribution to the song."DoneThe Ringer should not be italicisedDone"highlighted the contrast between" → "highlighted the contrast of"Done"most exciting single released from" → "most exciting single from" to be less wordyDone"commenting that the song's subject matter" → "commenting that its subject matter"Done"were performed through" → "are performed through"Done"commended the band" → "commended the 1975"Done"exploring larger, more serious topics," → "exploring a larger, more serious topic," per the sourceDoneIdentify Althea Legaspi as being from Rolling StoneDone"called it a" → "called the song a"Done"she felt the band was" → "Cudmore felt the band was"DoneWikilink UK Singles ChartDoneIreland should come before the US because that is in Europe and it was also on a main singles chartDone"certified Silver in the United Kingdom," → "certified silver in the UK by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI)," with the wikilinkDone
Music video
[edit]Development and release
[edit]- Img looks good!
"Building upon an old Hollywood musical theme," → "Building upon a Hollywood musical theme," per the sourceDoneAre you sure the chorus girls target is correctDone[54] should be solely at the end of the para because it backs up all of the sentences after [53] as well as the first sentence of the paraDoneThe first sentence of Fu's quote is not needed since the several months part is that reworded; keep the rest of the quote thoughDoneThe flow is not sourced as being panoramicDone"called it his proudest" → "called the video his proudest"Done"soup levels wholesome."" → "soup levels wholesome"." per MOS:QUOTEDone"On 26 October," → "On 26 October 2018,"Done"a caption reading" → "a caption reading:"Done"In the picture, the singer wears a" → "On both the occasions, the singer wore a"Done"challenged the band's fanbase" → "challenged the 1975's fanbase"Done
Synopsis
[edit]It is not sourced that there is a framed photo on the wall due to the gif not showing upDone"titled I Like America and America Likes Me," → "entitled I Like America and America Likes Me,"DoneTarget should only be on "of the same name" textDone"out the 1975's name." → "out the 1975's name; this is why an extra hand was added." per the sourceDone"his demeanour changes to" → "Healy's demeanour changes to"Done"No Rome cameos in" → "No Rome makes a cameo in"DoneThe dog being a Dalmatian is not sourcedDone"he encounters a man" → "Healy encounters a man" to be specificDone"modernity has failed us" → "Modernity has failed us" per the source's stylisationDone"Healy encounters a passerby with a bouquet of flowers, and" → "The singer steals flowers and"Done- Img looks good!
"immediately emerge from a" → "immediately emerging from a"Done"He engages a dance-off" → "He engages in a dance-off"Done""A Change of Heart" (2016) and" → ""A Change of Heart" (2016), and"Done[57][58][55] put in numerical orderDone[53][57][55] put in numerical orderDoneIt is not sourced that the piano cartoonishly crashes onto the sidewalk, but mention the chorus starting at this point per BillboardDoneIt is not mentioned by* the source that the camera pans when he is in front of the theatreDone"The singer performs the" → "Healy performs the"Done"on her using a watering can, and her appearance is" → "on her, with the girl's appearance being" per the sourceDone
Reception and controversy
[edit]"by contemporary music critics." → "by contemporary critics."Done"He compared it to" → "He compared the visual to"Done"Graves deemed it a" → "Graves deemed the music video a"Done"echoed Graves' comments," → "echoed Graves' second comment,"Done"called it "incredibly" → "called the visual "incredibly"Done"best music videos of the year," → "best music videos of 2018,"Done"included it on her" → "included the video on her"Done"commending its visual beauty," → "commending the visual beauty,"Done"dance routines, calling it" → "dance routines, while calling it"Done"praising the 1975's" → "with C.S. praising the 1975's"Done"ranked it at" → "ranked the visual at"Done"said it is "is so" → "said it "is so"Done"in front of near-identical backdrops." → "in front of similar backdrops."Done[78] should be solely at the end of the para because it backs everything past [77] upDone"a "massive fan" of the 1975 who made" → "a "massive fan" who heavily respects the 1975 and made" per the sourceDone
Live performances
[edit]Wikilink Jack WhitehallDone"Healy utilized the same" → "Healy also utilized the same"Done"The band performed" → "The 1975 performed"Done"the Coachella music festival on 12 April 2019." → "the Coachella Festival on 12 April." with the targetDone"their Music For Cars Tour, and" → "their the Music for Cars Tour and"Done"as part of their Music For Cars Tour setlist," → "as part of the tour's setlist,"Done- The "backdrop of the houses" part being replicated is not mentioned by the source, but "dancing through the streets" is so reword accordingly I guess
- It is sourced in the embedded video that auto-plays the moment you open the page, in addition to being sourced again in a separate video further down in the article. But I'll add it the other part too. Giacobbe talk 22:03, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Credits and personnel
[edit]Target drums to Drum kitDoneTarget keyboard to Keyboard instrumentDone
Charts
[edit]- Good
Certifications
[edit]See MOS:TABLECAPTIONDone
References
[edit]Copyvio score looks too high at 44.1%; cut down quoting from Atwood Magazine to resolve thisDone
- Chopped off multiple quotes. Score is at 40 now. Giacobbe talk 22:34, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- Great job archiving as many as the tool can do!
Remove ref 14 per WP:RSP on Genius for lyricsDone
- These are annotated from the band themselves, as part of the "Verified" series, which explicitly shows the difference in annotations made by the artist and those made by users. Giacobbe talk 22:14, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- Forgot I have the video, it can be removed as both say the exact same things. Giacobbe talk 22:30, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
WP:OVERLINK of iHeartRadio on ref 22DoneCite Sputnikmusic as publisher instead for ref 26DoneTarget Complex to Complex (magazine) on ref 40 per MOS:LINK2SECTDoneRef 43's archive is not working; replace with an older one, as these tend to work properly for musicOMHDoneCite Promonews as work/website instead for ref 54Done
External links
[edit]- Good
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold until all of the issues are fixed; surprised I managed to finish this review over the course of one day! --K. Peake 21:02, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: I always appreciate your speed! Giacobbe talk 22:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: ✓ Pass now; you did make a few errors but I looked and fixed the ones I saw since they were minor mistakes! --K. Peake 07:01, 5 March 2021 (UTC)