Talk:Simone Murphy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Launchballer (talk · contribs) 15:09, 16 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Kimikel (talk · contribs) 02:51, 11 October 2024 (UTC)

Hello, I am going to review this article as part of the October GA backlog drive. I should be done within a week. Kimikel (talk) 02:51, 11 October 2024 (UTC)

@Launchballer: Please see my review below. Let me know if there are any questions or concerns with my suggestions, or if you will not be able to complete the review in a timely manner. Thank you. Kimikel (talk) 03:43, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

@Launchballer: I've finished going over the article and I believe there's nothing left to remedy; as such, I am going to close this review. Thank you for your prompt, quality work and congratulations! Kimikel (talk) 22:39, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Well-written

Early life and Britain's Next Top Model

• "she walked out of" > quit
• "on the grounds that Manchester" > because it
• "work available down there" > work available
• "from her agency" > from Murphy's agency
• "lots of jobs" > many jobs
• "before deciding she could not be bothered" > but did not want
• "only for the producers to email her back" > only doing so after the show's producers emailed her
• "after which she found it easier to obtain work." > remove

I believe I've completed all of these.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Music and presenting

• "the pandemic" > the COVID-19 pandemic
• "After returning to Scotland" > the second half of this sentence has nothing to do with the first, break them up

Split, although it feels recursive mentioning Scotland twice in quick succession.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

• "During the pandemic, modelling work dried up, and Murphy realised that she wanted to make music, so spent lockdown teaching herself." > After modelling work became harder to find during the pandemic, Murphy spent the lockdown teaching herself to make music.
• "In 2023, she released" > In 2023, Murphy released
• "a further track" > another track
• "preferring to take punters" > I can't find a definition for "punters" anywhere that fits this context, perhaps a different word would be better

Changed to "ravers".--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

• "nail pop up" > perhaps explain what this is

Pop up nail salon.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

• "annotated with artwork" > decorated with artwork

All done.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Personal life and artistry

• "after a long dating pause after dating people in the modelling industry" find a way to get rid of this double "after"

Reworded.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

• "[sic]." > which part needs a sic?

Capitalisation of "Sim0ne" and the lack of oxford comma.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Verifiable

• A ton of sources are missing authors and dates. Go through all of them and see which ones can be input.

I believe I've added all of them that have them.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Spot check

1. 1: Maybe I'm missing it but I don't see where states her birthday is 29 July

If you scroll down the comments you should see one from Simone saying "gentle reminder my birthday is this saturday".--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

1. 4: Missing author and date
2. 3: Missing date
3. 29: missing date
4. 27: missing author

Broad

• Broad in its coverage

Neutral

• Neutral

Images

• No images, but not a detriment to the article

I can promise you that if I was aware of any Creative Commons images they'd be in the article.--Launchballer 04:41, 13 October 2024 (UTC)

Stable

• Stable

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.