Talk:Sieges of Berwick (1355 and 1356)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 19:45, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

GA Criteria

GA Criteria:

1
1.a Y

1.b Y
2
2.a Y

2.b Y

2.c Y

2.d Y
3
3.a Y

3.b Y
4
4.a Y
5
5.a Y
6
6.a Y

6.b Y

No DAB links Y
No dead links Y
No missing citations Y

Discussion

Prose Suggestions

Please note that almost all of these are suggestions, and can be implemented or ignored at your discretion. Any changes I deem necessary for the article to pass GA standards I will bold.

Lede

They failed to carry the castle suggest They failed to seize the castle

Changed to "capture".

He was only prevented from worse depredations by his seaborne supplies not arriving due to bad weather. suggest He was only prevented from worse depredations because bad weather delayed his seaborne supplies#

Why? This moves the relevant bit of information - supplies - to the end of the sentence, and the problem with them - the delay - to after the storm. A reader is going to be momentarily wondering where this mention of a storm is leading.

Background

Edward was never reconciled to the treaty believe this means that Edward was never a fan of it, perhaps Edward was never supportive of the treaty?

Pushing the sourcing slightly I have changed to "never accepted the validity of".

Encouraged by the French King suggest Encouraged by the French King, John II,

Good point. Done.

Suggest mentioning and linking Auld Alliance somewhere.

Done.

Fall and recapture of Berwick town

The Scottish nobles Thomas, Earl of Angus, and Patrick, Earl of March were these the same nobles mentioned in the prelude "but Scottish nobles, encouraged by the French, started gathering an army on the border."? If so, suggest mentioning their names there.

No. Or, at least, they are not specified as so being and my OR feeling is that there were others and/or that these two weren't senior enough to take a leading role in this.

defended on the town (east) side what does this mean? It was on the eastern side of the town, or that the town was east of the bridge? Suggest defended on the eastern side of the town if the former is true.

It's the latter, so reworded.

Aftermath

On 20 January Balliol surrendered his nominal position as king of Scotland in favour of Edward, his overlord. who on earth is Balliol? Edward Balliol? Mention and link him in the Prelude and his claim, for context.

Oops. Thanks. Not really relevant to the subject of the article, and pretty unrelated to it, so removed.

@Gog the Mild: That is all of my suggestions, once information is added regarding Balliol, I will pass the article. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 22:17, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Iazyges, I like your reviews - you have a good eye for the sloppiness that I let through. Your comments all addressed above. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:11, 20 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No problem! Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 14:26, 20 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]