Talk:Shwezigon Pagoda/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:08, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Ages since I last reviewed one of your works :) Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:08, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No dablinks, no copyvio detected, images are properly licensed. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:11, 29 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Here are my comments about the prose and layout:

Do we need to say Burma? I think the current name should be enough.
- Deleted mention of Burma
Would be good to add the period when construction began.
- Added
Better add Anawrahta was the founder of the Pagan dynasty.
- Added
When you say "pagoda" for the first time, it would be good to add what exactly this means. Like an inline explanation of a few words, or a link.
- Linked and explained
I think the lead should be expanded to two paras covering all the major points of the article, per WP:MOSLEAD.
- Expanded

Not sure why we say "initially" in Initially "Chronicles of the Kings of Burma"
- Removed word intially and the sentnce now starts as Chronicles of the Kings of Burma
I don't see why the conversion and reason of the king's death have been included in this article
- The reason is that he built the pagoda after he converted to Buddhism. His death is mentioned as he could not complete the construction during his life time which ended in an accident. It is contextual.
Shewzigon pagoda meaning "pagoda on a dune." In which language?
- Mentioned in "Burmese language"
son Kyanzittha "Kyansittha"
- Corrected

Link stupa (at first mention), Mon.
- Link is now only in the lead. Mon is also linked

Continuing with the rest of the article,

Note that I have done some minor CEs in the article, and changed it completely to British English per WP:ENGVAR. Please remember to use the relevant variety of English in you future works.
- Thanks. Suggestions noted
Link "nat" at first mention (here I mean the article excluding the lead). A few words as an inline explanation would be helpful to readers who don't like chasing links (well, I am one of them).
- Done
In general words foreign to the English language, like 'chatri', should be in italics.
- Done
"Nat Spirit" --> "nat spirit"
- Done
On the outer limits of the pagoda there is a shrine where 37 nats are deified along with an intricately carved wooden sculpture of Thagyamin I think this shold be combined with the mention of the 37 nats in the first para.
- Rearranged
I don't think chatri should be linked, the meaning is same as umbrella's.
- Delinked
where devotees affix "dedicatory tablets" What exactly is a "tablet" here? The electronic device?
- They are slabs. Corrected
known as chinthes which are leogryphs What is a leogryph? One can't know readily as it is a redlink at the moment.
- It is "leoglyph" a kind of geoglyph. I have corrected the spelling
"jataka" --> "Jataka"
- Done
Link Indra.
- Done
Say "footprints" consistently throughout the article
- Corrected in the lead
Also noted with the peripheral walls of the Shwezigon Pagoda is a stone pillar What is "also noted with"? Where exactly is the pillar?
- Corrected

Looks like there are too many images. I think the images of Thagyamin and "exterior decorations" (it is similar to the infobox image) can be omitted.
- Deleted

Sainsf I was wondering why you stopped reviewing my articles after Puri and the Upanishads. Thank you very much for this review. Your recent GA articles on cheetah and caracal are very nice and both are now lead DYKs. Congrats. I have complied to all your review points as mentioned above. Will be glad to comply to more comments.Nvvchar. 13:34, 30 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No, don't feel I ignored your nominations. Rather they were taken before I could review them, which I would have immensely rejoiced in. I see you have new noms out there, I will try to pick them up soon :) And I must congratulate you on your exceptional achievement – 1,500 DYKs is historic! As I said on your talk page, and would love to repeat here, a grand salute to you! You are the pride of us Indian Wikipedians! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:44, 30 May 2016 (UTC)::[reply]

Thanks, Sainsf for your compliments on my achieving the 1500 DYK mark. I missed your posting on my user page. Sorry about it. I have complied to all your review observations. Pl see if there are any more left outs.Nvvchar. 15:21, 30 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]