Talk:Shaun Whalley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:28, 4 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:28, 4 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

My main issue with the article as it stands is the raw lack of info, namely pre-Hyde. The Hyde section seems longer than the rest combined, when he seemed to have most of his success in Droylesden and Accrington Stanley, the later of which seems to be in the highest conference of any of those teams, and should probably have the most info. I got a good deal of google hits for both those tenures, so I'm sure it can be expanded. Aside from that,

"after spending a season there scoring 16 goals." comma after there
"He played football a lot " 'a lot' can be removed, not all that encyclopedic.
"until he was spotted by Norwich City and then went to play for their academy before leaving it in 2004 to go and play professionally for Chester City" a bit of a run-on. also, any more information on Norwick City, seeing as how it was three seasons?
"But on 23 October, less than a week later, he scored a bizarre own goal described as "The wierdest own goal I have ever seen, how did he do it." by many fans" several problems here, not the least of which is that the quote is not in either of those references.
After the article is expanded, it will need a copyedit by an outside pair of eyes; request one at WP:GOCE.

As a result of the above, I'm failing the nomination. It's a good start, but it's not ready yet. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:22, 5 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]