Talk:Sermon on the Mound/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 19:28, 6 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"made by Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher to" perhaps -> "made by Margaret Thatcher, the British Prime Minister, to..." just because it's good to underpin the fact that Scotland and "Britain" aren't the same thing.
Four citations in the lead, they can easily be moved to the main body per MOS:LEADCITE as nothing in the lead should be missing from the main part of the article.
"address" is mentioned several times, can we mix it up a little with "speech"?
"1985 Faith in the City report" italics?
" a play on" link for "play"?
"her Oxford years" link that savage university here.
"And it has..." never keen on seeing sentences beginning with "and....
"idea in Margaret Thatcher's political" no need for Margaret.
"famously summed" notably
Is linking Evangelical Methodist Church worthwhile? All my experience of Methodists is the opposite to evangelical!
"and each one counts."" reference.
"Choice played a significant part in Thatcherite reforms and Thatcher claimed choice" repetitive, re-word.
"stating that Christ chose" claiming, or suggesting, rather than "stating". And do we really need to link Christ?
Or God for that matter?
" Spirit - something" en-dash.
"Thacherite" typo.
"in the press as " no need to link that to a different target.
"end for Conservative" link.
"English Methodism and" overlinked.
References with online links need to be formatted properly, suggest using the {{cite web}} template, happy to help with that if it's a problem.
Page numbers normally have a space between the p. and the number.

That's all I have for this first read. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 21:54, 6 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: Thanks so much for your thorough review. I have implemented everything you suggested, except one point: Evangelical Methodist Church is a separate American denomination. But I did link Evangelicalism - the Methodists today are mostly fairly liberal, as you noted yourself, but their origins in the Wesleyan revival were Evangelical, and that still had an impact on Thatcher as a girl. I have also changed the references to a newer format that I now prefer - hope you approve. Please do look in again and tell me if I have missed anything. --Doric Loon (talk) 16:40, 7 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]