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Talk:Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 02:44, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·


Bad prose in the lede: "Character designer Tetsuya Nomura wanted his role in the story to be different from other Final Fantasy villains, while his design was intended to contrast directly with that of the game's main character, Cloud Strife." - Does not provide context or clarity with the "while" suggesting the opposite of the other villains. Does not provide information on why he is different or why it matters.

Fixed

"His Japanese voice actor is Toshiyuki Morikawa;[1] in English, he was first voiced by Lance Bass in Kingdom Hearts and by George Newbern in all his subsequent appearances." - Another jarring usage and semi-colon error.

Fixed

"In Final Fantasy VII, Sephiroth is the result of an experiment by the megacorporation Shinra, in which they injected him with cells from the extraterrestrial lifeform Jenova when he was still a fetus." - In Final Fantasy VII? As opposed to a different history in other media? Needs clarity in the lede.

Fixed

" Upon discovering this, Sephiroth decides to follow what he believes to be his destiny, and become a god, taking control of the Planet, whilst Cloud and the game's other protagonists attempt to stop him." Initial wording is lacking - "his destiny" is a bit of a twist from his mentality as well.

Fixed

"Sephiroth has been well-received within the video game community, and is regularly featured in top positions on many top list of video game villains and Final Fantasy characters." - The "many top list of video game villains" is a wording problem.

Fixed

More examples, "His name comes from Kabbalah, in which the ten sephirot on the Tree of life represent the ten attributes through which God can reveal himself." - Do you mean "the Kabbalah"? Missing 'the'.

Fixed

Others like "Sephiroth was initially going to be Aerith Gainsborough's sibling with their hair resembling one another." are awkwardly worded.

Fixed

Quite a few examples exist, but outside of the lede I cannot be overly harsh. As a whole it is problematic.

Made a few fixes, phrasing seems to be getting better with a lot of sentence rewrites.

One additional note: Could you please address the "Safer Sephiroth" translation issue for the English release. This, like other instances of awkward translation, Wikia has coverage of this and it is not a good thing if this is overlooked. [1] - But this is more of a critical issue that goes above and beyond the necessary requirements of a GA.

I would, but I have not been able to find a reliable source discussing the issue, and the final fantasy wikia, though most likely true, has no source listed for its description. If you have one or know of one, let me know and I'll add it whenever you find it.

Moving along... How is andriasang.com, a blog, meet a RS? I'd like some justification here for its inclusion.

Anoop Gantayat is the purveyor of the site, and is a former writer for IGN who started the website to inform people about japanese related video gaming news that would otherwise stay untranslated. I has since stopped doing it, but the archive of articles is still up. Since he wrote for IGN, the blog is considered by Wikiproject Video Games as a reliable source.

Two dead links, ref 50 and 57.

Archived, so fixed.

Placing on hold for fixes. A quick copy edit and a few minor issues and this will pass. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 14:32, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll just reply about Andriasang.com. It is run by Anoop Gantayat who was a journalist from IGN, so it passes Self Published Source. DragonZero (Talk · Contribs) 19:30, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ok! All issues resolved! Judgesurreal777 (talk) 23:13, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Very well. Passed! Congrats. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 02:38, 18 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
There's no edit war or content dispute and renaming doesn't affect the article's content, so stability isn't an issue. czar · · 06:11, 20 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Agreed. The choice was mine to make and the article content is stable. I will not fail or hold an article because some discussion is ongoing, the burden is unstable from day to day, and that was not the case by the definition listed in the criteria. If you read the GA criteria notes it clearly states, "Vandalism reversions, proposals to split or merge content, good faith improvements to the page (such as copy editing), and changes based on reviewers' suggestions do not apply. Nominations for articles that are unstable because of constructive editing should be placed on hold." - The move request is a proposal and only impacts the location of the page and not its content. That is why; I didn't do this all "willy-nilly". I go by the definition of the criteria and do not assert my own. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 12:48, 20 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]