Talk:Selfocracy/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 13:39, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

I would recommend splitting the first paragraph’s first sentence into two, as done in the Good Girl Gone Bad article.
For this part (For his debut album, Nottet desired to have creative control), I would replace “desire to have” with “wanted” to be a little more concise.
For this part (composed some of the material by himself, while collaborating with writer Army Morrey and producer Alexandre Germys on a great majority of the songs.), I would say “wrote” rather than “composed”, and I do not believe that “great” is necessary and it can be removed.
For this part, (When composing, Nottet would watch films without sound for inspiration), complete the phrase “when composing”. When composing what?
This part (An electropop album influenced by genres including hip hop, experimental music and pop rock, Nottet) does not make sense. If read literally, you are saying that Nottet is “an electropop album influenced by genres including hip hop, experimental music and pop rock".
For this part (the songs' construction, Nottet's vocal delivery and maturity), and “and” after “construction” as the final part of the list (Nottet's vocal delivery and maturity) is tied together.
I do no think that “English” needs to be wikilinked in the infobox.
Please add ALT text for the infobox image. Add ALT text for all of the images.

Background and release

For this part (rose to fame after finishing second in native singing competition), I would drop "native".
For this part (with his debut single "Rhythm Inside", achieving fourth place.), I would say “and achieved fourth place” instead.
For this part (Nottet would proceed into completing a basic instrumentation with his desired sounds), I would just say “Nottet would complete” to be more concise.

Music and lyrics.

Add ALT text to the image.
There are a few spots here that I have concerns with Wikipedia:Citation overkill. Could you clarify why all of those sources are necessary. I have listed the sentences below:
- Lyrically, Nottet expresses his vision of modern society and addresses topics such as toleration, harassment, stereotypes, narcissism, egocentrism and egoism.
- The fifth track on Selfocracy, "Million Eyes", has been described as an experimental-inspired dark electropop power ballad;
- Nottet himself explained that "Million Eyes" was inspired by the work of Sia, while critics also noticed the influence of Rihanna, The Weeknd and Alice on the Roof.
I would specify which reference is used to support this part (featuring rapper Shogun.).
For this part (over a "dramatic" background), I do not think the wikilink is appropriate in this context, as I am not sure if the source is really connecting it with Burke's theory.
I have a question about the audio sample. Is this song sample somehow representative of the album? The use rationale makes more sense for a song article than an album one.

The audio sample is a pop song, as nearly all other songs on the album. Also, the song has deep and meaningful lyrics, thus the sample shows what songs lyically and musically are like on the album. Cartoon network freak (talk) 16:06, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

Something about this sentence (Music critics gave positive reviews of Selfocracy.) sounds a little off. I would recommend something like (Music critics had positive reviews for Selfocracy.).

Promotion and commercial performance

I have another concern about citation overkill with this sentence (The singer predominantly performed in France and Belgium, alongside venues in the United Kingdom, Russia, Luxembourg, Switzerland, the Netherlands and Germany.).
For this part (both benefited of a music video.), I would say "from" instead of "of".
For this part (In native Belgium, it), I would drop "native'.
The image caption should not have punctuation as it is not a full idea/sentence.
Add ALT text to the image.

Final comments

Great work with the article. It is always interesting to read about a singer that I have personally never heard of before. Once my comments are addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this. Have a great week! Aoba47 (talk) 13:39, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Hi and thanks for doing this!!

I have worked on your comments and tried to ammend the overkill situations. Is it better now? Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 16:03, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing everything so quickly. The only remaining comment that needs to be addressed is about the audio sample use. I am uncertain if it is necessary as it is not clear how it is being used to represent the album. If it is not used to represent a trend or an overall sound of the album itself, it is best to either replace it with one that does or remove it altogether. Once that is cleared up, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 16:07, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Removed. Cartoon network freak (talk) 16:27, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Verdict

Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this now. Aoba47 (talk) 17:09, 21 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]