Talk:Seishiro Sakurazuka/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 00:30, 27 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]

" .. which he appears as a kind veterinarian who often shows romantic affection for onmyoji Subaru Sumeragi". I think it is better to separate the sentence, without a comma. I would also explain what an onmyoji is.
- Added description and cut the sentence since it sure was was quite big
" of which only the beginning exists". What does it mean?
Removed
"Seishiro was easier to write than Subaru". According to whom? Also, I would not separate this sentence. Try a ; or something like this. Also, this other sentence "Seishiro was the easiest character to write and Subaru, because of his good nature, was the most challenging" should be linked with this.
- Revised. Ohkawa from Clamp basically says she is better at writing dark stories than light stories which influenced here way of writing characters too.
"Seishiro's shikigami was named Nandaro ("Just what is this?") and Clamp privately still refer to it by this name". What's a shikigami? So, its name changed? And the new name is..?
- Revised. There is no name to the shikigami in the official manga.

@Tintor2: And that's all for the incipit and Creation. Voice also looks OK.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 15:59, 28 February 2021 (UTC) @TeenAngels1234: Tried clearing everything.Tintor2 (talk) 16:33, 28 February 2021 (UTC) Good job. This article seems already clear and on a good level TBH. Just some questions (Appearances):[reply]

"one of the girls". What does it mean?
- Revised.
"Afterwards, Fuma who Seishiro that he is the only one who can grant his Subaru's wish". Explain better.
- Revised. Fuma tells Seishiro basically this "That boy's wish is not what you think it is and you are the only one who can grant it"
" at the Rainbow Bridge". IDR. Is the Rainbow Bridge something like the Norse bifrost? Or is a simple bridge? Or a place or something?
- Wikilinked. It's an actual location from Tokyo
"Hokuto's spell takes effect" What spell?
- Revised. In Tokyo Babylon, Hokuto made a spell before sacificing herself in Subaru's place under Seishiro's hands.
"Hokuto's final wish was that Subaru could not be killed the same way as her" Explain better.
- Revised
Generally speaking, the X part is a little complicated, with all these events.
- Revised
"... one of Sakura's magical feathers". Present Sakura.
- Done

@Tintor2:Reception is OK. Just a question. "In regards to Seishiro's history", until "in regards to giving Subaru his eye resulted in signal of hope" is an anylsis, and should be merged with the similar statements in the first paragraph. Generally speaking, the popularity part is placed in the third one, but it should be the first. So, just rearrange the information.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 16:55, 28 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Moved the poll of Tsubasa to the first paragraph The signal of hope is only something that happens in X, not in Tokyo Babylon after Subaru kills Seishiro accidentally. When rearranging the reception section I did it like "1. role in Tokyo Babylon", "2. Role in X" and "3. Role in Tsubasa"