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Talk:Sebastian Zouberbuhler/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]
Passed. B3251(talk) 20:23, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Z1720 (talk · contribs) 02:14, 4 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: B3251 (talk · contribs) 19:05, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I have reviewed this article and will provide notes that I made below. Please let me know if you have any questions. B3251(talk) 19:05, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Review

[edit]

Please check 1a, 1b, and 2d.

1. Well-written

[edit]

a. checkY (addressed) Clear and concise prose

  • In the lead, consider clarifying that Zouberbuhler was from pre-Confederation (British-controlled) Nova Scotia rather than just Nova Scotia.
  • Is there confirmation that Louisbourg officially held city status? Otherwise, change all text referring to it as a "city" to "settlement".
  • Under Early life, make the following changes:
    • Move the first use of Zouberbuhler's full name "Sebastian Zouberbuhler" from the second sentence to the first sentence for consistency. I recommend rewriting it to something like "Sebastian Zouberbuhler was born in Switzerland in 1709 or 1710, the son of Reverend Bartholomew Zouberbuhler. In November 1734, he went ..." (using "he" here instead of his surname to prevent ambiguity between him and his father)
      • When making this change, I also recommend changing all instances of Zouberbuhler's surname to "he", "him", etc. until you reach the next line (where "Zouberbuhler returned to North America" starts), just for further preventing any ambiguity.
    • Add a comma after "While in South Carolina".
    • Going off my previous recommendation, change what would now be "He recruited 50 families and left for North America in August 1736 under the direction of his father." to "He recruited 50 families and left for North America in August 1736, under his father's direction."
    • Change "... and returned to Switzerland to continue his recruitment. At this time the Swiss government objected ..." to "... and returned to Switzerland to continue his recruitment; the Swiss government objected ..."
    • Change "what is now considered" to "present-day".
  • Under Lunenburg:
    • Who is "the colonel" referring to? Please either clarify who the colonel is referring to or change "demanding that either the colonel give them the letter or release Zouberbuhler into their custody." to "demanding either the letter or the release of Zouberbuhler into their custody."
    • Add a comma after both "acting governor of Nova Scotia" and "Charles Lawrence" in the sentence "... would remain in the town until the acting governor of Nova Scotia Charles Lawrence could investigate the matter."
  • Under Political and later life:
    • Add a comma after "In July 1758"
    • Also add a comma after "The following year"
    • Add a hyphen in "reelected" so that it says "re-elected" instead.
    • Change "that did not reside in Halifax" to "who did not reside in Halifax"
    • Add a comma after "During this time"
    • "the purchase of" is not necessary to include, as it is already talking about Zouberbuhler purchasing land.
    • Change "whose construction began in 1771" to "which began construction in 1771"

b. checkY (addressed) MoS compliance

  • Under Political and later life:
    • Joshua Mauger is already wikilinked earlier. This can just be changed to "Mauger" rather than his first & last name again.

2. Verifiable with no original research

[edit]

a. checkY List of citations and works cited

b. checkY Sources cited inline

c. checkY No original research

d. checkY (addressed) No copyright violations/plagiarism

  • Under Political and later life, change "with Alexander McNutt and four others" to something along the lines of "with five other people, including Alexander McNutt," to avoid copyvio
  • Under Personal life and death, please address the following sentence:
"Zouberbuhler advocated for a German-speaking Church of England minister in Lunenburg and opposed Lutheran and Calvinist ministers coming to the town."
for close paraphrasing with the source:
"An ardent churchman, Zouberbuhler led the fight to have a German-speaking Church of England minister appointed to Lunenburg and opposed any intrusion of Lutheran and Calvinist preachers."

3. Broad in its coverage

[edit]

a. checkY Addresses main aspects of the topic

b. checkY Focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail

4. Neutral

[edit]

checkY Gives due weight about Zouberbuhler's life from the provided sources

5. Stable

[edit]

checkY Not under any edit wars or dispute

6. Illustrated

[edit]

a. checkY Media have proper copyright statuses attached

b. checkY All media are relevant to the topic and have suitable captions

@B3251: Addressed concerns above. Z1720 (talk) 19:55, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for letting me know. One instance of the use "city" was missed- I went ahead and fixed it, so no need to go back and address that. I'll go ahead and pass it now. Nice work! B3251(talk) 20:21, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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