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Talk:Scream (Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson song)/GA1

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GA Review

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Hey. I'll be doing the GA review for this article. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

  • I believe that music videos and songs are like art and literature in that when speaking about their content, verbs should be in the present tense. Even if this is not the case, the article alternates between tenses when speaking of music videos. For example, "In 1989, Jackson released the song and music video "Leave Me Alone", a song about his perceived victimization at the hands of the press.[1] The video shows Jackson poking fun not only at the press but also the situation he was in. In the video, there were images of shrines to Elizabeth Taylor and newspapers with bizarre headlines. Jackson also danced with the bones of The Elephant Man."
  • "Janet Jackson wanted to be involved with the project as a show of support to her brother; his first song since the allegations had past." - this could use a reword, maybe: "Janet Jackson wanted to be involved with the project, Michael's first song since the allegations had past, as a show of support to her brother."
  • "A song that received critical acclaim in its own right, as the recipient of two Grammy nominations: Best R&B Vocal Performance and Best R&B Song." - this is a fragment...maybe combining it with the previous sentence would fix the problem.
  • "New York Cities children's choir" - should this be "New York City's children's choir"?
  • Refs 61 and 62 can be combined, since they are the same.

Otherwise, it looks really good. The article will remain on hold for seven days for these few changes. Nikki♥311 01:21, 22 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I think I've resolved the issues, I'm struggling a little bit with the tenses but I certainly got some of them to be the same. Let me know what you think. Cheers Nikki. :-) — Realist2 03:28, 22 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I looked over your work, and everything looks good. Congratulations on another GA. :) Nikki♥311 19:01, 23 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Cheers! — Realist2 19:16, 23 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  1. ^ Taraborrelli, p. 365
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