Talk:Scorpion (roller coaster)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: CR4ZE (talk · contribs) 12:59, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Well, this was a pleasant enough light reading for my evening. Here's my comments.

Lead

"Built by the Anton Schwarzkopf..." - the Anton Schwarzkopf? Again in opening sentence of Characteristics. The man, the myth, the legend!

@CR4ZE: Will come to fix up the article near midnight in EST, though, I wanted to let you know I read this comment and had a good laugh during my Zoom class this morning! Adog (Talk・Cont) 16:33, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"opened on May 16, 1980" - should be a comma after 1980; same for "it was announced on May 9, 1978" (in History).
The lead summarises all the main parts of the body nicely.

Done Edited per comments, again had a chuckle at the Schwarzkopf comment. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:28, 25 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Body

I can tell you and apostrophes don't make friends. helix's should be either helixes or helices (my spell-checker likes the latter, but either is permitted); one of three Silver Arrow model roller coaster's should be roller coasters; 3.5 g-force's should be 3.5 g-forces; "Guests reaction" should be guests' or guest.
"two-phases" → two phases.
"Biograd na Moru, Croatia" → should be followed by a comma.
"The theme of the roller coaster shares the same namesake of its species, the scorpion" - get the meaning here, however this is a little awkward and confusing and needs to be recast.
"praised its designed excitement to the ride duration" - meaning unclear.
The body of the article discusses the coaster's history, layout, characteristics and legacy adequately.

Done Edited per comments. Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:28, 25 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Both File:Scorpion (Busch Gardens Afrika).JPG and File:Scorpion (Busch Gardens Africa) 02.jpg are free and serve the page well.

Sources

Ref list looks really solid.
Spot-checks on #7, #8, #21, #24, #29, #30, #32, #29; agf on others.

Out of scope

I always offer friendly suggestions to improve the page beyond the scope of a GA review. You may consider these during or after the review (or not at all).

A less close-up shot, or one depicting more of the ride's layout (especially the lift hill apex), could replace either of the current images as they both depict largely the same thing.
Would recommend archiving the few online sources used.

Done archived what I could, and when safe to do so, will go to Busch Gardens Tampa personally to take photos in addition to Iron Gwazi (for obvious reasons), rather than doing something not in the house. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:28, 25 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I found a number of instances of prose that I would suggest be recast:

"to the then-newly added" is a little awkward.
"being built as the only one on an affixed structure as opposed to being portable" is awkward.
"Scorpion opened to the public as the second roller coaster to open at the park" - the word "open" used twice in one sentence: "opened to the public" is redundant → Scorpion opened as the park's second roller coaster.
"As opposed to the other two Silver Arrow models being portable, Scorpion sits on a permanent support structure" is also awkward.
"The total track of Scorpion reaches a length" → "Scorpion's track reaches a total length"
"Though it wasn't his favorite" is vague. We generally would spell out "was not". How about "though not his favorite"?
"the past-president of the American Coaster Enthusiasts (ACE)" → "the former American Coaster Enthusiasts (ACE) president"

Done Edited per comments, appreciate the extra-mile towards the review as well as the review itself! Very helpful. :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:28, 25 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

On hold for as long as needed! Not much to fix up. — CR4ZE (T • C) 12:59, 24 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'm just glad it brought a little joy to your day.

Thanks for tending to my remarks promptly. I did notice after all that, you actually missed "the Anton". Legendary. Don't worry—I fixed it! Anywho,

@CR4ZE: Oh my gosh, there was a second instance that I completely mulled over (changed the one in characteristics, not the lead)! Thank you for that haha. Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:19, 25 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
Great work! — CR4ZE (T • C) 14:29, 25 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]