Talk:Saybrook Colony/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Gazingo (talk · contribs) 02:01, 9 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 22:10, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I will be starting this review shortly! IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:10, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	See issues below. IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	lead needs to be improved. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
2. Verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	I checked most of the sources and all info was verified. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2c. it contains no original research.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	passed copyvio check. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).	IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
	7. Overall assessment.	On hold until issues with criteria 1 are addressed. IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The lead here could be expanded and shouldn't need citations. I suggest reading Wikipedia:How to create and manage a good lead section to help you create a better lead section. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:25, 2 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Dutch explorer Adrian Block was the first European to sail up the Connecticut River and thus the area that would become Saybrook. I'm a little unsure as to what you are trying to say here. IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The group of investors, besides the eponymous Viscount Saye and Sele and Baron Brooke also included future Lord Protector Oliver Cromwell, Robert Rich, 2nd Earl of Warwick, John Hampden, Sir Arthur Hesilrige, and John Pym. I feel like this could be reworded a bit. IntentionallyDense (talk) 19:13, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I believe I've fixed your issues with the prose, I'll fix the lead later as its obviously a bigger undertaking. Gazingo (talk) 20:42, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Sounds good. Just let me know when you've fixed the lead. IntentionallyDense (talk) 20:55, 3 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]