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GA Review

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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 19:52, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will get to reviewing this article properly soon, just got a few initial comments for now. First of all, the critical reception section could do with expanding since you have numerous reviews there but didn't write out very much and secondly, redlinks should be fixed. There's obviously more issues but I'll help you out with them soon, all the best! --Kyle Peake (talk) 19:52, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

[edit]
  • Refs should not be in the infobox but I will break this down in relevant terms
  • Ref 1 is not required as we know it was released on that date and is pop; write out alternative r&b in comp section
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 2 is not needed since you mentioned 2018-19 in the body but make sure you directly mention recording ending in January
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 2 mentions other info sourced in the body and you don't put length to the millisecond
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 3 not needed since you referenced hip hop in the body
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Aksel "Axxe" Carlson should either not be wikilinked or wikilinked to an existing page
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:08, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

[edit]
  • "Norwegian hip hop duo Karpe." → add who the duo consists of following on from a comma after Karpe in this sentence
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 5 should not be needed in the lead; why not mention Sony for the release in the body too?
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Should the former label be wikilinked since it is to Karpe?
Unlinked  Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink to the fifth studio album because it doesn't have an article
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The EP is Venus & Mars; change this with appropiate wikilink
Unlinked  Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove useless "wikilinking" on Arif, Isah, and Aksel "Axxe" Carlson, unless you can find new pages to target them to
Unlinked  Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The EP features guest vocals" → "It features guest vocals"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chirag from the duo explained" → "Chirag explained" since we will name the duo's members before this per the review
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "emerged along the way" sure it shouldn't be "emerged during their process" or something like that?
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "transitions where related to the lyrics" → "transitions were related to the lyrics"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mention in the "...critically acclaimed release" sentence what was acclaimed about the EP
Like out of all the albums they have released, SPSP has achieved the best ratings. Not sure how I should rephrase this. - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Premeditated I don't mean as in how much it was praised; I am referring to what features critics praised of the EP, like production, or lyrics, for example. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 In progress Working on it :) - Premeditated (talk) 08:38, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 09:14, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It peaked at a 3rd place" → "Commercially, Sas Plus/Sas Pussy peaked at number three" with this starting a new para
Updated result: "In 2020 they won a Spellemann in the category Spellemannprisen for Album Of the Year [..]" - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sas Plus/Sas Pussy is nominated for" → "It has been nominated for"
Updated result: "[..], and was nominated in the Urban category." - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and was nominated in the" → "and the EP was nominated in the" --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 08:38, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Chirag and Magdi is nominated" → "Chirag and Magdi have been nominated"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"work with the EP" → "work with it" since you can't restate the EP in this new order --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 08:38, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Background

[edit]
  • Remove wikilink on EP
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Surely Sony Music should be mentioned here as I said earlier? If you need to move ref 5 to here, then do it and don't put it back in the lead; also, if ref 6 is needed for the beginning sentence as well as the second, put it after both of them if you insert ref 5 at the end of the first sentence
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from previous albums that were released earlier" → "from albums that were released earlier by Karpe"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was not the plan to make their" → "Initially, it was not the plan to make their"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "differentiate from their" → "differentiate from the duo's"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The duo has to a further extent used depictions in" → "They have used depictions to a further extent in" as you have directly copied a bit heavily from the translation
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "present their most personal side, where Heisann Montebello was a strong political messages," → "present their most personal side on the EP; contrasting with Heisann Montebello strong political messages,"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The EP's title Sas Plus/Sas Pussy is" → "The EP's title, Sas Plus/Sas Pussy, is"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilinks on obvious terms, celebrity and Norway
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and free coffee."" → "and free coffee"."
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In addition to the album length and the theme" → "In addition to the length and theme"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "it is also an essential thing" → "there is also another essential thing"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "makes the album" → "makes Sas Plus/Sas Pussy"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from Karpes" → "from Karpe's"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Once again, remove redundant wikilinks
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and it is" → "and it was"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "who have produced Sas Plus/Sas Pussy." → "who have produced the EP."
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and has contributed to the EP with" → "and has contributed to Sas Plus/Sas Pussy with"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on vocals because that is pointless and remove wikilink on Karpe too per overlinking
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the track is referring to" → "the track is in reference to"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which regulate" → "which regulates"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:51, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Recording

[edit]
  • "Recording for the EP" → "Recording for Sas Plus/Sas Pussy" as it's a new section
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mention and source somewhere that it ended in January 2019?
 Done It was in a Instagram story, but I didn't take any screenshot. So, I will remove it. - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The work on the recording" not sure if this means the work on the recording as in the EP or the work on the recording as in working on the recording of the EP?
Has change it to EP - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "before they started to" → "before Karpe started to"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They also recored" → "The duo also recorded"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "around the world like Basecamp Studios" → "around the world, including Basecamp Studios"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Only mention two of the studios in this section but note the geographical locations of both
Changed to "[..] Basecamp Studios in Stockholm, Ocean Sound Recordings in Ålesund [..]" - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove dead wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and Thomas Kongshavn" → "and Kongshavn"
 Not done This is the first time Kongshavn is introduced in the section - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Axxe worked with the" → "The former worked with the"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

[edit]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with mainly focus" → "that mainly focuses"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "but also incorporating elements" → "while also incorporating elements"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mention alternative R&B somewhere
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on compressions
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "missing frequencies makes space" → "missing frequencies create space"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "elements like more distortion. Axxe explain the use of distortion" → "elements, including more distortion, which Aksel "Axxe" Carlson explained as being used for"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on Bhangra pop and uncapitalise
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sas Plus/Sas Pussy has a musically" → "The album has a musically"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "is introduced. Measured beats come and go" → "is introduced, with measured beats coming and going"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Finally, it ends up" → "Finally, the EP ends up"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on documentary clips
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and into the process behind the music" → "and into the process behind it"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "sonic journey they have tried" → "sonic journey Karpe have tried"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that encourages the listener" → "that encourage the listeners"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the making of the release" → "the making of Sas Plus/Sas Pussy"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "song "فاروق القاسم‎" there is use" → "song "فاروق القاسم‎", there is usage"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Last para should be with the one above and is that the sound of the EP? If so, change to "The sound of the EP is mixed..."
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:33, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Artwork

[edit]
  • Images need respective alt text
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove obvious wikilink on cover photo
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The cover photo was" → "The cover photo for Sas Plus/Sas Pussy was"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a Oslo-based photographer" → "an Oslo-based photographer"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The cover design was done" → "The design for the cover was done"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove obvious wikilink on male
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "from behind that has pearls around" → "from behind, whom has pearls around"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the cover show a list of seventeen tracks" → "the cover shows a list of 17 tracks"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "timestamp and a logo" → "a timestamp and logo"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "shows the same persons neck" → "displays the same person's neck,"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the front of the person" → "the front of him"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the EP posted Karpe a lot" → "the EP, Karpe posted a lot"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilinks on Karpe, EP and Instagram
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In September 19, 2019 they released" → "In September 19, 2019, the duo released"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "of the EP" → "of the Sas Plus/Sas Pussy"
 Not done Changed to "of Sas Plus/Sas Pussy" - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Typo on my part, sorry about that! --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It was a single record" → "It is a single"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It got the same cover art" → "The album has the same cover art" and remove wikilink on the last two words
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "it had the alternative cover" → "it has the alternative cover"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "opens as a book, inside the cover is" → "opens as a book; inside it is"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On the other side there are images" → "On the other side, there are images"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Should it be "progress" or "process"?
 Done "process" - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done "process" - Premeditated (talk) 16:02, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

ω Awaiting a feedback on the new paragraph (number 2). - Premeditated (talk) 15:27, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Premeditated Will do this below. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:11, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "April 23, 2020 the company, Also Known As, won" → "On April 23, 2020, company Also Known As won"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:12, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "design awards. Based on the company’s work" → "design awards, based on the company's work"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:12, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "on Karpe’ Sas Plus/Sas Pussy" → "for Sas Plus/Sas Pussy"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:12, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In September 19, 2019, the duo released a" → "On September 19, 2019, Karpe released an"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:12, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Release and promotion

[edit]
  • Is a bit overkill to have multiple images here, just keep the third img as that has numerous inspirations in one picture; give it alt text though
I have removed the image of Per Sandberg. The aircraft is important as a representation of the instagram feed and for quote. - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In fall 2019 the duo" → "In the fall of 2019, Karpe"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "longer tour" than what?
 Done Changed to only "tour" - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove obvious wikilink on Norway
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Days after the announcement they started" → "Days after the announcement, the duo started"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilinks on Instagram
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "photos or/and videos" → "photos and/or videos"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sure you shouldn't decrease the amount listed here a bit since it's kind of a supermarket list at the current point?
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on pearls
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove "from Karpe" after Chirag
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the videos and images" → "the images and videos"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "— Chirag from Kapre[7]" remove this but place ref 7 at the end of the sentence instead
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In February 21, 2019, they posted" → "On February 21, 2019, Karpe posted"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Next day was the EP available" → "The following day, the EP was made available"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change digital downloads to digital download
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on website
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with the lyric" → "with the lyrics"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mention the vinyl somewhere in here and maybe the initial release being through Sony Music?
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:24, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

[edit]
  • Alphabetically order the professional rating sources in the box
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove italicisation on VG
In the rev box? - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, since it is not supposed to italicised. --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The EP is Karpes most critically acclaimed release (by February 2020)." → "As of February 2020, Sas Plus/Sas Pussy is Karpe's most critically acclaimed release."
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • This section needs expanding in terms of prose, since you have left some reviews in the infobox with nothing written out from them
  • Attribute the writers to their publications mentioned in the text
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Gaffa and Dagbladet should all be in italics, with the former also in capitals
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on hip hop genre
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove Rolling Stone from this section, as the source does not directly mention the album
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:23, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reviews should not have one paragraph for each one. Also, they should go in order to the least positive at the end of this section; this will be easier to organize once you have written out more prose, but I suggest putting GAFFA and Dagbladet above VG for now
  • "and describe it as" → "and described it as"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They explain the statement with" → "The statement was explained by him with:"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "For the soundscape it's compared to the previous album" → "He compared the soundscape to that of the duo's previous album"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink to the album
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and describe is as" → "and described it as"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They also comment the" → "He commented on the"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "playlist, is SAS PLUS / SAS PUSSY just" → "playlist, 'SAS PLUS / SAS PUSSY' is just" as that is the correct translation
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "And praises" → "Bøe also praised"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does "the experience" mean the listening experience? If so, specify.
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on Norway
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Rødahl ends the review" → "Rødahl ended the review"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "praising the album as their best" → "praising Sas Plus/Sas Pussy as Karpe's best project"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with a lot of help" → "noting a lot of help"
checkY I don't fully understand this request. - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Change it to the above as in the critic noted that the large amount of help, since they did. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:13, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:14, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove redundant wikilinks
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Thomas Kongshavn, as well as the melodic assistance of Isah" → "Kongshavn, as well as melodic assistance from Isah"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

ω Awaiting a new feedback on this section. - Premeditated (talk) 15:16, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I said they should go in order to the leave positive at the end; that means the most positive should have been written out earlier in the section – you have clearly done this in the wrong order. --Kyle Peake (talk) 12:17, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Better now? - Premeditated (talk) 14:42, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Yeah, looks good. --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:57, 29 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Accolades

[edit]
  • Should be written out in prose, since a table is not needed for four awards and I may suggest further changes once you have done that; however, why is no category named for the Nordic Music Prize 2020?
Is now written out, but needs further inspections. - Premeditated (talk) 11:04, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Will deliver them below. --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Merge this all into one para
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "2019 – an award for the Best Nordic Album of the Year – given" → "2019, an award for the Best Nordic Album of the Year, given"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on Oslo; add it on the artwork section's mention of the word instead
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "January 23, 2020 the nominees" → "On January 23, 2020, the nominees"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "was presented, where Karpe was nominated in the category" → "were presented, with Karpe being nominated in the categories"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The duo was also nominated" → "The duo were also nominated"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "So, it moved to be arranged" → "Therefore, the awards show moved to be arranged"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • What does Mars 28, 2020 mean? If it's March 28, 2020, then write "on March 28, 2020" instead.
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that contributed on the EP" → "that contributed to the EP"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

[edit]
  • Credits were adapted from the album's liner notes → Credits adapted from the album's liner notes
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • and vinyl covers liner notes → and vinyl cover's liner notes
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Place refs in numerical order
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Target solely the first member of the duo to Karpe under the writing credits
checkY I don't fully understand your request. - Premeditated (talk) 16:31, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I meant as in target Magdi Omar Ytreeide Abdelmaguid to Karpe, but you have so this is fine. --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:41, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove redundant wikilinks
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 16:31, 26 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Alternate track list

[edit]
  • is retrieved from the vinyl covers → is adapted from the vinyl cover's
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change initial mentions to just being Patel and Abdelmaguid under writers since they've been mentioned already above in the same section
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do the same for Aksel "Axxe" Carlson but change every mention to saying Carlson including the first
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change initial mention of Thomas Kongshavn to Kongshavn here
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink to non-existent Isah article
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Personnel

[edit]
  • vinyl covers liner notes → vinyl cover's liner notes
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove dead wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Target Magdi Omar Ytreeide Abdelmaguid to Karpe
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilinks to Sweden and Norway
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

2019 Tour

[edit]
  • Retitle to 2019 tour
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Professional ratings box is not needed for one review
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In March 9, 2019 started the duo on" → "On March 9, 2019, Karpe started on"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Was this marketed as a tour for the EP? If so, mention this after "their tour" in that sentence.
No, the tour was sold-out before the EP was released. - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Keep as it is currently then.
  • "with twenty three concerts" → "with 23 concerts"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and seven in Europe" but Norway is in Europe? Unless you mean other European countries... in which case, reword this.
 Done → "and seven in other places around Europe on the program" - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilinks on Norway and Europe
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "With four concert at" → "This included four concerts at"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on Oslo
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and two concert at" → "and the latter amount at"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Merge the second para with this one
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "this tour was set to be a in an intimate" → "the tour was set to be in an intimate"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "With a stage in the middle of the room, audiences" → "The setting was with a stage in the middle of the room and audiences"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They performed a mix" → "Karpe performed a mix"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "like "Rett i foret"," → "such as "Rett i foret","
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on Heisann Montebello
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sofie Braseth from Dagbladet" → "Sofie Braseth from Dagbladet" as you have already wikilinked the publication
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Breaseth likes the intimate setting, but says" → "Breaseth complemented the intimate setting, but said"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "She finds the concert" → "She found the concert"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Merge the para of the concert review with the one below it
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On December 5, 2019 the duo announced a new huge project." → "On December 5, 2019, the duo announced a huge new project."
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They will occupy" → "They are slated to occupy"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Karpe has played in Spectrum" → "Karpe have played in the venue"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink on Oslo Spektrum as it was already linked in this very section
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "First time in 2013 with" → "The first time in 2013 with"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "after the success of" → "after the success of their fourth studio album"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink to the album but put the release year, 2012, in brackets after the title then close the sentence
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Second time in 2017" → "Karpe's second time was in 2017"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "as part of Heisann Montebello" → "in promotion of Heisann Montebello"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Images have appropriate alt text, but remove wikilinks to Karpe and Isah
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "that was used" → "that were used"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Magdi from Karpe" → "Magdi"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "stage diving" → "stage dive" but still target to the former
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Magdi and Chirag from Karpe" → "Magdi and Chirag"
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

[edit]
  • Good

Release history

[edit]
  • Remove wikilink on Norway
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Shouldn't Sony Music be mentioned as a label for the former release?
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:24, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Note

[edit]
  • Retitle to Notes
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References

[edit]
  • Make sure to archive all of these using the tool
What tool is used for this? - Premeditated (talk) 15:22, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 13:46, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Give all refs accessdates
Fix dead links under Revision history --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:14, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Non found by the tool. - Premeditated (talk) 13:46, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:22, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 7 is at 47.9% on copyvio; that's got to be fixed
Hmmm.. This is only for the quotes. It's a short article so I understand the high percentage, but I find the artist to be the best source to describe the album. How should we solve this? - Premeditated (talk) 15:22, 27 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
You can just change a few parts where there's quotes to being in your own words more but still determining the point of what is said. --Kyle Peake (talk) 08:14, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 13:42, 28 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are more fixes to make, but I will go into detail about them once you have sorted the initial issues out
  • Premeditated Will request the further fixes below
  • Ref 1 should cite publisher instead of work/website and name it Topplista
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any instances when I mention citing a publisher, I mean instead of work/website, to be 100% specific with you
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Gives: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: | publisher= - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Premeditated I didn't mean literally add italics in the parameter; cite as a work/website with no italics added in the parameter and I just did that for showing how it looks --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:08, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 15:31, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cite NRK P3 as publisher instead for refs 3 and 4, and wikilink on the former ref
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove Lovdata from the title of ref 5 and cite Lovdata as publisher instead with the wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change ref 8 to citing Klassekampen instead with the wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change ref 9 to citing YouTube as the publisher
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cite PLATEKOMPANIET for ref 11
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change Even Suseg to publisher for ref 12
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Instagram is seen as unreliable so remove/replace refs 13, 14 and 18, and any of their content sourced in this article
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change Grafill to publisher for ref 15
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are you sure ref 16 is reliable? And change to citing MusicBrainz with the wikilink as the publisher if so.
 Done MusicBrainz is included in Authority control. The ref is mainly used for images of the vinyl covers liner notes.
  • Cite this publisher for ref 17, but no wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change ref 19 to citing the publisher SPSP
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink to Dagbladet on ref 21
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cite ITromsø for ref 23 instead with the wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Remove wikilink to Klassekampen on ref 24
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cite Store norske leksikon as the publisher for ref 27
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change by:Larm to publisher on ref 28 with the wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cite Dagbladet.no for refs 30 and 38
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change Tidal to publisher on ref 35
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Like what I said about Instagram for other refs, Facebook is unreliable on ref 36
 Done. Replaced - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change NRK to the publisher for ref 39 with the wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change Oslo Spektrum to the publisher for ref 40 with the wikilink and remove Oslo Spektrum from the title
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change Ticketmaster to the publisher for ref 41 with the wikilink
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 11:24, 30 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
[edit]
  • Remove Genius link
 Done - Premeditated (talk) 10:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
  • Many changes to make but nothing too bad, I will likely suggest a number of further changes after the initial ones have been made.  On hold for now, giving you over a week on this though... don't take too long, however! --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:58, 22 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comment

[edit]

For anyone who may be confused why this article has been on hold for quite a while, it is because the nominator has exams that they need to complete, which are currently being prioritised by them over the article; this behaviour is acceptable, hence the lack of a ✗ Fail from me. --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Premeditated: Any updates on this? --Kyle Peake (talk) 06:47, 24 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Kyle Peake: I'll be back 26 May :) - Premeditated (talk) 12:13, 24 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Premeditated I can wait until tomorrow fine, good luck when you do this though! --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:32, 25 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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