Talk:Sammy Ameobi/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 12:23, 30 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll do this one. Courcelles (talk) 12:23, 30 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead is kind of choppy. Two solid paragraphs would be better than what we have now, and more information could be included. - Condensed down to two paragraphs and rearranged slightly.
A wikilink to Tyne and Wear would make it seem less like these are just extra words put in. - Done
"11 GCSEs" More Wikilinks needed here, as an American, I don't know what a GCSE is, much less why one would want 11 of them. - Done
Ref 3 has an author and needs an access date. - Done
Ref 28 has an author available. - Done
Ref 12 needs an accessdate - Done
Ref 13's publication date is in it's URL and could be added. - Done
Why is Ref 16 reliable? - Replaced
Ref 34 has an author available, but why is it reliable, anyhow? - Replaced
Refs 19 and 52 appear to be the same source, and could use an access date, too.
Refs go in numerical order, "[9][3]" - Done
"His second goal for the club two years after his first" You need another word here, like "came two years" or something. - Done
"within seven seconds of the second half against" within seven seconds of what of the second half? Start? His coming on? - Done
"Newcastle however," This could use one more comma. - Done
Was Newcastle in the Premier League the entire time he was there? - Done
What division did Middlesbrough play in? - Done
"Ameobi made 39 appearances in all competitions during his loan spell at the Cardiff City Stadium as Cardiff fell short of a play-off place," Bad phrasing makes it sound like he only made appearances at home? - Done
"suffering from Asthma" decapitalize asthma. - Done
"During the 2006 Summer transfer window," Check that date, please. - Done
"a permanent one-year deal" Is an odd phrasing to these ears. - Done
"PFA Championship" Like I said in another review, don't use this acronym without explanation. - Done
Should explain that Bolton got promoted from League One to the Championship somewhere. - Done
"On 28 June 2018 he signed a new two-year contract with Bolton.[41] He signed a two-year extension to his contract in June 2018," These sentences could use a re-work. - Done
What is a "Pay row"? - Reworded
Infobox and table are 3 and 2 months out of date, has he played since then? - Updated

That's all from me, a long list of minor niggles, but I don't think any of it is that difficult. Courcelles (talk) 12:47, 30 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: Thanks very much for the review, I've responded to all of the issues raised above. Let me know any thoughts. Kosack (talk) 14:35, 30 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work, promoted. Courcelles (talk) 16:03, 30 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]