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the lead sounds like a Nature Consrevancy pr blurb, make sure you use your own words. Good bibliography but fles it out, what has he done in these roles? give us the so what! Ortiz Crespo (talk) 19:22, 8 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"It goes without saying that he is well versed in the Hawaiian language, culture and history." then don't say it but show us what he has done, you need to flesh out the rest, he was on the land board, maybe research his involvment with the telescope Ortiz Crespo (talk) 17:23, 5 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
