Talk:Sam & Max Save the World/GA2

GA Review

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GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS):
A couple of relatively small prose concerns:
The three, each with their own trademark catch-phrase, are victims of hypnosis in the first episode, make appearances as the judges on a Pop Idol parody and are elected the governors of the Dakotas in the fourth episode, before plunging the region into civil war over ownership of Mount Rushmore. → too long and too wordy. Recommend splitting into smaller sentences with a more concise rewrite.

There is quite a bit of passive voice in the Reception section. I have converted most of the passive voice in the other sections to active voice (including the Plot and Development sections) for you. Can you try to clean up the passive voice remaining in the Reception section?

[1] → No, the other direction! You need to change stuff such as The game interface itself was praised... to Several reviews praised the simplicity of the game interface. I'll revert that edit. The former is passive voice, while the latter is active voice. MuZemike 21:54, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Whacks head on desk* Bah, humbug! I'll give it a fresh go tomorrow, now I'm clear what I'm looking for. After I've knocked myself unconscious against the wall in shame. I knew I was rubbish with prose quality, but not that rubbish! -- Sabre (talk) 22:07, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Good. See [2] for the rest of my corrections, and use it for future reference on how to combat passive voice. MuZemike 20:06, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Well referenced.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Non-free images all fall within WP:NFCC and have proper fair-use rationales. A couple could be reduced a bit further, but it's good as of right now.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
Placed on hold pending above improvements. MuZemike 19:26, 16 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Also, for future reference, please read User:MuZemike/GA standards for other things to watch for, especially when attempting to being this article to FA. MuZemike 19:26, 16 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've broken up the sentence in the character section, so that should have hopefully dealt with that. I'll be giving the passive voice in the reception section a shot later, after I've attempted to get to grips with quite what it is. I don't have much of an eye for spotting that sort of thing. -- Sabre (talk) 15:43, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I've had a stab at clearing up the passive voice, but as said above, I'm not too good with this sort of thing. I don't know whether I've actually dealt with it or made it worse (hopefully not the latter), but I've given it an attempt nonetheless. -- Sabre (talk) 13:52, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've had another go at it, at the very least I hope I'm going in the right direction this time, although I imagine I might have missed some. -- Sabre (talk) 13:31, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Passed. Take a look at the diff under criterion 1, and make a mental note of it for future reference in how to use active voice over the passive. Good job! MuZemike 20:06, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]