Talk:Salt (Oh Land song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:48, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Been in the queue since last month, so it is only right for me to review this article! --K. Peake 09:48, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

Infobox looks good!
"the track's sole producer." → "the sole producer."
Remove the third sentence since the song did not have a separate release
"Oh Land's boyfriend," → "Her boyfriend,"
"piano on the track" → "piano on it"
""Salt" represents a" → "The song represents a"
"a string-led production with her" → "string-led production with Oh Land's"
"describing the sometimes unpredictable nature" → "describing the unpredictable nature"
Remove the critical reception sentence because there are only two reviews
"has since been performed by Oh Land" → "was performed by Oh Land"
Remove wikilink on remix
"was created for the duo's" → "was released on the two musicians'"
"after its initial announcement." → "after the initial announcement."
"reviews from critics." → "reviews from music critics." with the target

Background and release

Remove wikilink on Oh Land
"and recording a rendition of" → "and a rendition of"
"that her next album" → "that her then-upcoming album"
"on playing the piano again," → "on learning how to play the piano again,"
Wikilink synthesizer on the img text
"her fifth studio album, Family Tree, in a press release" → "Family Tree in a press release" with the wikilink
"its lead single," → "its lead single" with the wikilink
"appears as the seventh track on Family Tree, which was released in its entirety on" → "was released as the seventh track on Oh Land's fifth studio album Family Tree on"
Remove the succeeding sentence since the source does not show a standalone release; any song from any album is available to buy separately on Amazon
"who served as" → "with the latter serving as"
Wikilink Sterling Sound Studios per MOS:LINK2SECT

Composition and lyrics

"previously explored on" → "previously explored by Oh Land on"
"sounded like it was a" → "sounds like it is a"
Wikilink synthesizer
"Bartlett, Oh Land's boyfriend Adi Zukanovic, and" → "Bartlett, Adi Zukanovic and" because we have already introduced him in the lead and the other fix is due to this article being in British English
Wikilink sheet music
"The song's chorus features Oh Land" → "The chorus features Oh Land" to avoid overusing "the song"

Critical reception

Remove the opening sentence since two reviews is not enough to classify the reception as mixed
"In addition to single" → "In addition to the track"
"one of the best highlights from the parent album." → "one of the highlights of Family Tree."
"her vocals on" → "Oh Land's vocals on"
"Odoom found that the combination of the song's strings and Oh Land's voice to create an unintentional effect on the listener;" this does not make sense even with the succeeding part; I can't access the source but maybe you meant to put "...voice create an..." or is there just a bit you forgot to insert?

Arthur Moon Remix

This should be the section after Live performances

Development and release

Infobox looks good!
"These remixes were created" → "The remixes were created"
Target remix extended play to Remix album
"The song was" → "The remix was"
Target digital download to Music download
Target streaming to Streaming media
"of the parent EP cover." → "of the parent EP's cover."
"on a United States promotional tour" → "on a promotional tour of the United States"
It is not sourced anywhere that he was set to serve as the opening act
"in the United States on" → "in the US on"
"behind the remix for "Salt"," → "behind the remix,"
"the songs have a" → "the remixes have a"

Critical reception

"received generally favourable reviews" → "was met with generally favourable reviews"
"raved about the remixed version," → "raved about the remix,"
"and insisting that it" → "and insisting that the remix"
Remove wikilink on playlist

Track listing

Good

Live performances

Retitle to Live performance since there is only one mentioned
"during the Family Tree segment of the show," → "during the Family Tree segment,"
Target singles to Single (music)
The last sentence is useless because not only does it repeat info from the remix section, but it does not mention any live performance(s) of the song

Credits and personnel

Good

Release history

Remove the 3 May 2019 release per my earlier comment
With that in mind, you should move this to being the last subsection of the remix section and maybe change the caption to Release dates and formats for "Salt (Arthur Moon Remix)"
Remove version col, as the remix was the only one to have releases

References

Copyvio score looks good at 23.7%
Great job with the archiving!
Target Amazon.com to Amazon (company) on ref 2
Remove ref 9 per my earlier comment
WP:OVERLINK of Oh Land on refs 10 and 14
Target Sterling Sound to Sterling Sound Studios on ref 11 per MOS:LINK2SECT
Wikilink Apple Music on ref 18's first citation

Final comments and verdict

On hold until all of the issues are fixed; hopefully you will get through this properly like you did for my past reviews! --K. Peake 17:58, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Kyle Peake – I believe I have addressed all of your comments within my edits, including your final comment on the 'Critical reception' section for the remix. I reworded it a bit and hopefully it reads better now. Sometimes it can be difficult to provide an accurate translation. Thanks for the review as always, Carbrera (talk) 21:27, 17 January 2021 (UTC).[reply]

Carbrera You did a great job making all of the fixes I suggested, but there were a few light issues elsewhere that I fixed just now with some copy editing. ✓ Pass! --K. Peake 21:42, 17 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.