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Talk:Saif Ali Khan/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Krimuk90 (talk · contribs) 05:48, 21 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Will review shortly. --Krimuk|90 (talk) 05:48, 21 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "The 2004 romantic comedy Hum Tum proved to be Khan's first success in which he played the solo male lead" => "sole male lead" sounds better.
Early life and background
  • Need inline citation for his birth date and parentage.
  • Link Nawab of Pataudi in its first instance.
  • Not sure why "The ceremony took place on 31 October 2011 and was attended by the incumbent Chief Minister of Haryana,Bhupinder Singh Hooda" is relevant in this section.
  • Inline citation for Pathan ancestry needed.
  • The "[t]here was life beyond movies, in terms of conversation and experience" quote is without context.
Career

(first two sub-sections)

  • Do we have any reliable source talking about why he was dropped from Bekhudi?
His mom said that it was because "he was not serious enough". This is also similar. Did you want me to add the reason?
Yeah, it's better to provide some explanation for it. Krimuk|90 (talk) 08:26, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
How does this sound? (but after completing the first shooting schedule of the film, he was unceremoniously dropped and replaced by Kamal Sadanah for his unprofessionalism.) -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 05:11, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I think it will be better to add who considered him to be unprofessional. Krimuk|90 (talk) 07:31, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Done—Clarified who considered him to be unprofessional. -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 20:24, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The film tells the story of two estranged brothers (played by Aamir Khan and Khan) and failed to find a wide audience" ==> The film, which tells the story of two estranged brothers (..), failed to find a wide audience".
  • Inline citation missing for "Khan earned the Filmfare Award for Best Male Debut for his performance in Aashiq Awara at the 39th Filmfare Awards."
  • "year's biggest hits" Just "hits" sounds informal; use "box office hit".
  • "Khan compared the portrayal of his character with his own evolving maturity to a father" => "..as a father"
  • " National Film Award-winning Dil Chahta Hai" WP: UNDUE. How about mentioning which notable award it won at the ceremony?
  • Random observation: I know it's difficult to find reviews for older film, but there is a bit too much of Rediff.com and Taran Adarsh here. Might be better to look at some archived links from The Hindu, The Tribune, Times of India, etc.
  • Inline citation needed for his Filmfare win for KHNH.
  • "In an attempt to not get typecast" ==> "In an attempt to avoid typecasting"
  • "Khan starred as Karan Singh Rathod in the thriller Ek Hasina Thi (2004) someone who he described as "aCharles Sobhraj-meets-James Bond kind of a guy"" ==> ""Khan starred as Karan Singh Rathod in the thriller Ek Hasina Thi (2004), a character he described as...". Also, inline citation needed for the quote".
  • "in preparation for the role, exercised extensively for a period of six months to achieve the physical requirements of his character" => "a period of" is redundant.
  • Inline citation missing for " For his performance, Khan received nominations at the Screen, Zee Cine and IIFA ceremonies."
  • " after the director "realised that the role needed a younger man". Younger than whom?

Will be back for more later. Krimuk|90 (talk) 09:29, 24 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done—Thank you for taking out the time to review the article Krimuk90! Inline citations have been provided, and the grammatical mistakes and wordings have also been corrected. -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 19:06, 24 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

More:

Rest of the career section
  • "Chopra was initially reluctant in casting Khan as the male protagonist because he felt that "I could not manage it"." Context needed for the quote. Why did he think he couldn't manage working with Khan?
  • "the movie revolves around a jealous and ungrateful ruler who will not let his wife die in peace because she is uttering the name of Eklavya". Doesn't convey much because reader's won't know who Eklavya is.
  • Not sure if Full Hyderabad counts as a WP:RS.
  • Needs to be clear that he played "dual roles" in Love Aaj Kal.
  • Wikilink needed for caste-based reservation in India.
  • Don't think Phantom can be described as a success.
The film was an "economic" success where it started slowly, but later recovered its costs at the box office and made some additional business. -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 05:11, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry to nitpick on this, but Box Office India calls it a flop. Made on a budget of 72 crores, it only made 84 crores worldwide, while a film needs to make atleast twice as much to turn in a profit. Krimuk|90 (talk) 07:31, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Comment— I'm just confused because some sources ([1]) have mentioned that it was a "decent" success. Perhaps I could say something like: The film eventually recovered its budget, but was generally perceived to be a box-office failure grossing ₹840 million worldwide on a budget of ₹720 million. -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 20:24, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Since that's an interview with Saif himself, we can something like "Although Khan was pleased with the film's performance, Phantom was generally perceived to be a box-office failure grossing ₹840 million worldwide on a budget of ₹720 million." Krimuk|90 (talk) 08:23, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Done -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 20:26, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Off-screen work
  • "Bollywood's most prominent international concert". Upto that point I presume.
  • "Khan performed alongside the band Parikrama ..." Did he sing with them?
He played the guitar and sang, and that's why I said that he "performed" alongside them. -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 05:11, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
In the media
  • "and has appeared in a range of film genres—he found a niche playing roles in romantic comedies" ==> "and has appeared in a range of film genres, although he has found a niche playing roles in romantic comedies".
  • "Shomini Sen" who?
  • India Today attributed his roles in these films as to establishing a new image for leading actors in Bollywood, and The Tribune published that Khan "matured, both as an actor of substance and as a bankable star." => "India Today attributed his roles in these films to the establishment of a new image for leading actors in Bollywood, and The Tribune published that Khan had successfully "matured, both as an actor of substance and as a bankable star."

That's all. Well done. Will be happy to pass when these remaining issues are addressed. Krimuk|90 (talk) 08:40, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done—Thanks Krimuk90! I've striked out whatever I've completed. :) -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 05:11, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I'm sure you can address the one remaining concern after I've passed this. Well done. :) Krimuk|90 (talk) 08:23, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for taking the time to review the article. Much appreciated! :) -- Bollywood Dreamz talk 20:26, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail: Krimuk|90 (talk) 08:23, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]