Talk:SMS Frauenlob/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 16:02, 12 December 2012 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this soon. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:02, 12 December 2012 (UTC)
Citation needed for this paragraph, I'd reference the 1st, 2nd lines as they are time specific and one is an estimate and that should be cited. The last part is a bit confusing as it does not say who returned fire and it probably wasn't the Arethusa with the single gun. A bit of clarification wouldn't hurt either. "Frauenlob shortly thereafter encountered the British cruiser HMS Arethusa and opened fire at 09:09. She quickly found the range and hit the British ship an estimated 25–35 times, disabling all but one of her guns and inflicting serious damage. One shell detonated a cordite charge and set the ship on fire. Arethusa's engine room flooded and her speed fell to 10 kn (19 km/h; 12 mph). She turned away to starboard in order to escape from the punishing fire, but Frauenlob kept up with the badly damaged British cruiser until she disappeared in the fog. In return, Frauenlob was hit ten times; in all, five men were killed and another thirty-two were wounded."
- The paragraph is cited to Staff, 8-9 - I really don't like repeating the same source over and over throughout a paragraph. As for clarifying, I made some tweaks, see how it reads now.
"A ferocious firefight ensued, at a range of only 730 meters (2,400 ft)." Citation please.
- It's covered by Tarrant, 213.
"In 2000, the wreck was located by Danish divers." Who? Next line starts with 'subsequent'. So we are kinda left hanging on who found the wreck in the first place.
- I haven't found any specific names, just that they were Danish. I did set off Innes as British, to avoid any confusion.
" Remains from the ship's crew are scattered around the sunken cruiser The wreck was positively identified when McCartney's team recovered the ship's bell in 2001," Aside from a run on sentence on is a bit ambiguous, as in physical skeletal remains or belongings. The whole sentence just doesn't jump out to me though. And cite it if you can. The second part/sentence is cited. I'd fix it myself, but the page will not load for me.
- Yes, it's skeletal remains, should be clarified now. And the paragraph is covered by the Dive magazine article (which is opening fine for me, btw).
Otherwise neutral, no edit wars, images are good. Typical fair. But please address the prose issues. I do not think it is 404, but I'll give it 24 hours, maybe the net is acting up. Its not reading dead to me either. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 04:32, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks again, Chris. Parsecboy (talk) 11:29, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
Sorry for budding in here but I think this is important. SMS Frauenlob was named after the 1853 schooner Frauenlob. The name stems from the fact that German women (Frauen) had donated money for her funding. At first the name Frauengabe, the concatenation of Frauen (women) and the verb geben (to give) was considered. King Frederick William IV of Prussia however chose Frauenlob, the concatenation of Frauen and loben or lob, the verb to honour/to praise. See pages 90 and 93, HRS v3. MisterBee1966 (talk) 14:17, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- This is interesting, but this might have been better placed on the talk page instead of the GA review page. I know the transclusion doesn't help for much with identifying that... If it is true then that would be a great addition to the backstory of its name. Though in all fairness, I am going to pass the GA as such content is not required, but I will notify Parsecboy about checking into it. I do not happen to have the reference to verify that myself, and I you didn't include enough information for me to go to my library to check. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 20:00, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- Misterbee and I have worked together extensively over the past few years, so I know what he's talking about. HRS is shorthand for a German-language book (actually several volumes) MB has access to but I do not. I should be able to incorporate this sometime later today. Thanks. Parsecboy (talk) 20:04, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- Alright, I've added the bit from HRS - does the way I translated it make sense? I wasn't quite sure (as I don't do a lot of translating, and I'm probably not the best at it). Thanks. Parsecboy (talk) 23:36, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- Misterbee and I have worked together extensively over the past few years, so I know what he's talking about. HRS is shorthand for a German-language book (actually several volumes) MB has access to but I do not. I should be able to incorporate this sometime later today. Thanks. Parsecboy (talk) 20:04, 21 December 2012 (UTC)
- This is interesting, but this might have been better placed on the talk page instead of the GA review page. I know the transclusion doesn't help for much with identifying that... If it is true then that would be a great addition to the backstory of its name. Though in all fairness, I am going to pass the GA as such content is not required, but I will notify Parsecboy about checking into it. I do not happen to have the reference to verify that myself, and I you didn't include enough information for me to go to my library to check. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 20:00, 21 December 2012 (UTC)