Talk:SMS Dresden (1907)/GA1
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 23:55, 24 August 2013 (UTC)
Nice article, I just have the following comments to make:
Infobox
- torpedo tubes, 50cm is converted to 20 inches in the infobox but 19.7 in the article body.
- Fixed.
Service history
- "She made her first trip overseas in September–October 1909 to participate in the Hudson-Fulton Celebration." May be worth mentioning here the event was held in New York. Alternatively, amend the caption of the image to the right of this section that she was in New York for the Hudson-Fulton Celebration.
- Added to the prose.
- The very last sentence of this section is a bit redundant in light of the first sentence of the WWI section. Suggest amending the first sentence to refer to after meeting the Karlsruhe she was preparing to return...
- Yeah, I had written those sections at different times and forgot to make sure they weren't redundant.
World War I
- "With the onset of hostilities, the Navy...": With the onset of hostilities, the Admiralstab?
- Sure
Battle of Coronel
- "to position herself off the British bow...": shouldn't the bow be plural as the previous sentence refers to cruisers? (Although if it was, I think bows would read strangely). Or were they just after the Glasgow?
- I think "bows" is correct.
Battle of the Falkland Islands
- "Lüdecke decided that his ship was no longer operational, and determined to have his ship interned to preserve it.": Lüdecke decided that his ship was no longer operational and was determined to have his ship interned in order to preserve it.
- You can determine to do something, and I've been told many times by the FAC copyeditors that "in order to" is generally to be avoided, since it doesn't add anything to the meaning.
Aftermath
- Do we know what happened to Lüdecke? He seems to have been a competent captain.
- He seems to have disappeared from the record after being interned in Chile - as far as I know, he remained there for the duration of the war. I have not seen his name among those who managed to escape (like Canaris).
General
- Some ranks not linked, e.g. Vice Admiral, Rear Admiral.
- Added.
- No bracketed English translations provided for German ranks or for Admiralstab (German terms are translated in the lead).
- Added.
- Is Vice Admiral the rank of von Spee in German?
- No, it's Vizeadmiral
- References look good as do the tags on the images.
- No duplicate links.
- No dab links.
- Checklinks indicates there may be an issue with the weblink for citation 40 (although it works fine for me).
- Hmm, it works fine for me (and I've used wrecksite in the past with no problems then either).
All in all, pretty minor stuff really. I'll check back in a few days for your response. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 23:55, 24 August 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for reviewing the article, Zawed. Parsecboy (talk) 18:50, 29 August 2013 (UTC)
- Looks good, passing as GA now. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 21:34, 30 August 2013 (UTC)