Talk:Rwanda women's national football team/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 08:39, 10 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Good to see some women's sport.

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
"Rwanda women's national football team is a national team from Rwanda with their major competition to date being the inaugural Council for East and Central Africa Football Associations Women's Challenge Cup held in Zanzibar in October 2007. " - How about "The Rwanda women's national football team has to date only competed in one major tournament, the inaugural Women's Challenge Cup held in Zanzibar in October 2007" or something like this. There should be a "the" ahead the national team, else it does not make sense. And the "Central Africa Football Associations Women's" bit is confusing and sloppy.

"there was no FIFA recognised senior women's team." - should there be a hyphen next to FIFA?

"Not existing as recently as 2006, in 2009 the Rwanda women's national under-20 team competed in the African Women U-20 World Cup 2010 Qualifying tournament." - the "in 2009" seems out of place; perhaps move it ahead the end of record

"The development of women's football vital to the development of a national team faces regional African related issues though there are successes, including the creation of a professional national women's league which has attracted players from neighboring Uganda and having the country's first female professional football coach." - several issues here: 1) The sentence is overall too long 2) I don't quite understand what you mean by "vital" 3) repetition of "development" 4) There should be a comma ahead "though there are successes" 5) There should be a hyphen after "African" 6) "from neighboring Uganda " from the 7) the last phrase is also odd. This sentence requires a complete rewording

"In 1985, almost no country in the world had a women's national football team,[1] and this was true for Rwanda" - then why you say it was true for Rwanda? Almost no? How many had a women's national football team in 1985?

There are too many grammar mistakes, repetitions and odd wordings, so I place this article on hold until it is copyedited.
I asked Hawkeye7 to fix some of the problems mentioned to improve the prose and worked on fixing those myself. I think all your concerns have now been addressed. --LauraHale (talk) 09:47, 11 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, the prose looks better, but still needs some work:
"Rwanda did not have U-17 or U-20 national team in 2006,[2] by a Rwanda women's national under-20 team existed in 2009 and competed in the African Women U-20 World Cup 2010 Qualifying tournament."
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:20, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"Grace Nyinawumuntu, who became the first female referee at the senior level in Rwanda in 2004, became the first woman to coach a professional team in the country in 2009, when she coached a professional women's side, and led them to a league championship.[20] " - Grace... became the first female referee at the senior level... and the first woman to coach and to bring her team into the league championships... ~~, when she coached a professional women's side,~~
Reworded to make more clear. --LauraHale (talk) 01:40, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

What is a "FIFA FUTURO III "?
A course offered by FIFA for football officials. No more information explaining this is available in the source.--LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"no women's football seminar held in the countrym" -typo
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

What is a "FIFA MA"?
A course offered by FIFA for football officials. No more information explaining this is available in the source. --LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"for women/youth football" - youth or girls?
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:38, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

", amongst other things," this should be moved to the end of the sentence
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Ref 2 has no publisher
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 6; redirects to [1] which states "Headline information for this article could not be found."
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 7: either a spaced n-dash or an unspaced m-dash, but not a spaced m-dash
No idea what this really is or how to fix. Please help? --LauraHale (talk) 01:27, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 8 ditto
No idea what this really is or how to fix. Please help? --LauraHale (talk) 01:27, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

FIFA.com or FIFA?
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:16, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 12: Randell2?
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:36, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ref 19: title is "Lack of funds holding back women’s football league "
Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 01:36, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: ~~per above. On hold for 7 days.~~ Nice article :) Also, excellent work on all those African teams!--GoP _T ^C _N 09:22, 12 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Pass/Fail: