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Talk:Ruth Hanna McCormick/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Canada Hky (talk · contribs) 13:46, 24 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Hello! I am happy to take on the task of reviewing this article for GA status. My typical method of reviewing is to go through and make notes / suggestions / comments as I read, and then we can work through those together. Once everything has been settled there, I usually move on to adding in the review template to be sure I didn't miss anything. Canada Hky (talk) 13:46, 24 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking this on. I have responded to your initial comments. Knope7 (talk) 03:33, 25 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

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The photo captions (particularly the second and third ones in the article body) could be improved. In the second one, clearly identifying Ruth in the photo would be helpful, and in the third - most of those kids don't look like they are reading, so it could be clarified.
I have updated both captions.
It is somewhat inevitable in a long article, but there are a lot of excess commas and comma-splice issues throughout the article. I have fixed a couple, and here are a few more examples - which could either be shortened or split up without loss of meaning.
"In her grief, McCormick considered giving up politics herself; however, at Longworth's urging, McCormick decided to continue"
I have split sentences.
"That same year, McCormick showed solidarity with black activists, marching alongside Irene McCoy Gaines in a Washington, D.C., suffrage parade, one year after NAWSA had insisted black women march separately.[11]:190–91"
Split sentences.
"Unfortunately for McCormick, 1930 was a difficult year for Republican candidates, one year removed from the stock market crash.[14] McCormick lost the election.[44]:198"
Rephrased.
Is this referring to one school with three names, or two schools, with one being renamed? "They founded Sandia School, later renamed the Sandia Preparatory School, in 1932 and the Manzano Day School in 1938"
Placed the name change in a footnote to avoid confusion.
When possible, references should be in sequential order at the end of the sentence - there are a couple examples in the Later life section.
Changed.
"In September 1929, McCormick announced her intention to run for Senate against incumbent republican Charles S. Deneen who won the seat from her husband in 1924" - should "republican" be capitalized in this context?
I'm not 100% sure, but I changed it.
"During their time living in Chicago, McCormick owned a dairy farm to provide untainted milk to locals, as part of the pure foods movement" - is there a wikilink that is possible to either details about the amount of tainted milk available, or to the pure foods movement?
Linked to pure foods movement.
No issues with close paraphrasing or copyright violations.
The sources all look reliable, and are appropriately formatted. Ref 30 is missing an access date.
Added
For the Sources list - should these be ordered alphabetically?
Changed.

Review template

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Thank you very much for addressing all concerns raised during the review. This is a very interesting and well-researched article.

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall: Thank you very much - I appreciate your effort in getting this article to GA status! Canada Hky (talk) 13:26, 26 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    Pass/Fail: