Talk:Russell family (Passions)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:23, 2 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for picking this up for review. As you can probably tell, I have been working a lot on trying to update the pages related to this fictional family. I look forward to your comments! Aoba47 (talk) 04:47, 2 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Carbrera: Just a friendly reminder. :-) Aoba47 (talk) 00:35, 15 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

All good

Lead

Paragraph 1

Insert a comma after "the married couple Eve Russell and T. C. Russell, and their children"
"As the series progressed, four more characters were added to the family: Eve's vengeful, adoptive sister Liz Sanbourne, Eve's child with Julian Crane, Vincent Clarkson, Whitney's husband and Liz's son, Chad Harris-Crane, and Eve's aunt Irma Johnson." --> "As the series progressed, four more characters were added to the family: Eve's vengeful, adoptive sister Liz Sanbourne; Eve's child with Julian Crane, Vincent Clarkson; Whitney's husband and Liz's son, Chad Harris-Crane; and Eve's aunt Irma Johnson."

Paragraph 2

"African American" --> "African-American"
"Despite the criticism, the cast was frequently nominated for NAACP Image Awards. The cast was prominently featured in a series of public service announcement for Black History Month in 2003." --> "Despite the criticism, the cast was frequently nominated for NAACP Image Awards and prominently featured in a series of public service announcement for Black History Month in 2003."

Creation and development

Paragraph 1

"soap opera since its start" --> "soap opera since its premiere"
Link "NBC" in its first mention in this section (minus the lead)

Paragraph 2

Rest is great work! :)

Core family members

I know you currently have the family members listed alphabetically, but you should probably list them in order of importance; for example, I would list them as the following:

Eve Russell
T. C. Russell
Simone Russell
Whitney Russell
Vincent Clarkson

What do you think of that example?

I agree with this idea. I also applied this to the "Extended family" section and placed Liz (who was a regular for around five years as opposed to Irma who was only on for a couple months). Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Eve Russell

Add "actresses" before "Amanda Maiden and Kimberly Kevon Williams played Eve in flashbacks.[12]" please
Link "the Odd Couple" to the article for the original television series please, not the current 2015 series

The phrasing is referring to how the pairing of Julian and Eve was shocking and odd since they appeared to have absolutely nothing in common. I am pretty sure it is not a reference to a show. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Oh whooops. Lol. My bad! Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Simone Russell

I don't think you have to include the exact dates for the different actresses, but if you find no problem with it you can keep it as well

I removed the dates from this section and the other section as well. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

T. C. Russell

Italicize The Young and the Restless please

Vincent Clarkson

In the caption, please change "sexuality and gender identity and his incestuous and criminal storylines." --> "sexuality and gender identity with his incestuous and criminal storylines."

Whitney Russell

Nothing :)

Extended family

Chad Harris-Crane

What about instead of "unnamed Harris-Crane", "an additional child"?

I agree. I only used "unnamed Harris-Crane" as it was something all of the other Passions pages used (I thought it was pretty odd myself).

Thanks. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Again, I don't think you have to include the exact dates for the different actors, but if you find no problem with it you can keep it

Irma Johnson

Add "actress" before "Marla Gibbs" please

Liz Sanbourne

Add "actress" before "Amelia Marshall" please

I moved this section before Irma. I hope this is okay. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No it is, thanks! Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Paragraph 1

Who initially gave the show "negative reviews for its lack of development and focus on the Russells in comparison to the other families"?

I included this as a topic sentence so that I could have some sort of organization to the section. I can remove this if you think it is unnecessary or inappropriate. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

It looks good there. Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Link Entertainment Weekly here please

Paragraph 4

Unlink Entertainment Weekly here please

References

Reference #65 - Italicize "Entertainment Weekly" and link it please
Reference #72 - Unlink "Entertainment Weekly" please

End of GA Review:

Sorry for the delay in review, but this is a very good article that doesn't need a lot of help. ON HOLD for seven days to allow for changes. @PING me here with any questions, comments, or concerns. Thank you, Carbrera (talk) 20:58, 17 June 2016 (UTC).[reply]

@Carbrera: Thank you for your review! Don't worry about the delay as I am just glad you grabbed this for a review in the first place. I have put a lot of work into this article so I appreciate your comments. I have addressed all of your comments. Let me know if there is anything else I can do. Aoba47 (talk) 01:47, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Will be passing now. Thank you! Carbrera (talk) 02:12, 18 June 2016 (UTC).[reply]

Thank you! :-) Aoba47 (talk) 02:20, 18 June 2016 (UTC)[reply]